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10 ways to stop the division

Updated on August 11, 2011

A House Divided.....

“United we Stand, Divided we Fall”. Very powerful words, yet most of the people of today not only don’t know what they mean, or quite possibly have become meaningless to them. Another quote may or may not be familiar to some, yet goes along those same lines. “A House divided against itself cannot stand” (President Abraham Lincoln). Different words, yet the same meaning.

Lets just for a moment think on exactly what those very wise words mean.

Broken Homes

Many are coming from broken homes these days so we’ll start there. When you have 2 adults, with at least one who is unwilling to make a change within themselves for the betterment of the family, the house becomes divided. It then crumbles, people go their separate ways becoming a broken home or “A House divided”.


Friendships - Many good friendships end because one or the other dislikes something being done. One or the other party, maybe both are unwilling to bend to see that their actions, words or behavior is causing the other distress. Then you get a broken friendship, “Divided we Fall”.

This is just at your most basic level. It goes higher and higher. We have become a Nation that is divided. On not just one aspect, but many. Politics, Religion, Race, Nationality, Sexual Orientation, Sex (man vs. woman). All are causing rifts as wide as the Grand Canyon. Our Nation is crumbling before our very eyes, everyone running in different directions wondering “What to do? What to do?”

We/You are the only one’s who can bridge that gap. It all boils down to our behavior, our attitudes and our willingness to change. To stop the selfishness that resides within. To make changes in our way of thinking is the first step.

It begins here

How does one go about making these changes?

1. Drop the phrase “Looking out for #1”. That particular phrase has gone above and beyond in making people selfish.

2. Choose your words wisely. If you prefer, “THINK before you speak”. Words do hurt.

3. If you meet up with someone who hasn't seen #2 and insists on calling you names or saying something hurtful, go back to the old adage (in your mind if necessary) “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”. DO NOT REACT to name calling. The person who is doing the name calling is looking for a reaction from you, don’t give it. Turn and walk away. There is no argument if only 1 person is left standing there by themselves.

4. If someone shares their opinion and it differs from yours and you cannot come to a peaceful agreement, be the bigger person to stop an argument before it happens. Tell them “thank you for sharing your opinion” and walk away. If you are one who MUST have the last word, remember you just did, only nicely.

5. If someone has a different sexual orientation from you, they are the ones who have to live with themselves. Let them be happy with who they are. What they do in their private lives has no bearing on what you do in yours. They are not going to change because you will it, just as you will not change because they will it.

6. If you meet up with someone who bears a different Nationality than yours, keep in mind they too are trying to survive in these hard times. Don’t begrudge them a job, at least they want to work and are trying to make changes for the better in their life.

7. If you meet up with someone whose skin color differs from your own, do not hate them because of it. No one can help the skin color they are born with, even if they could they wouldn’t change it. Why? Because there is nothing wrong with having a different skin color. If we were all the same, think how boring life would be!!

8. Just because your not used to having a person of a different sex be in charge does not mean they do not know what is happening. If they have been chosen over you for a position of power means either that they truly know more than you, or quite possibly they know less than you but have great ideas that the company you work for is looking towards. Give them a chance, be supportive and do not try to sabotage their work.

9. If someone worships a different God from you, or quite possibly no God at all, remember this is their choice. If you cannot agree to disagree, walk away. No one, not you, not me, no one wants or likes to be told that what they’ve believed all their lives is wrong. We are in an age of information at our finger tips, if they want to change their minds let them do it of their own volition. We do not need people screaming at each other in the streets regarding religion.

10 . Politics are probably the biggest of all dividers. We can come to an agreement on most things, this is the one that seems to cause the most dissention. If someone speaks their mind regarding politics, stop for a minute and listen to what they are saying. Provided they are speaking clearly, concisely, have beliefs to back up their reasoning and are not doing any name calling, then what is the issue? Because it differs from your own? On the other hand, your opinion differs from theirs! If you cannot agree to disagree, rather than nit-pick the various issues with which they are discussing, refer to rule # 4. Remember that they are much the same as you, if you are absolutely certain that your mind cannot be changed, then what makes you think theirs can?

A little Common Sense can go a long way.

How to get YOUR release

If you feel that it is absolutely necessary to yell and shout at the top of your lungs until you are blue in the face, due to frustration, then by all means do so. Go to a nice quite private place, the middle of the woods is great. Yell and scream as loud as you can, use all the swear words you can think of. Use all the names you want to call people, do it at the top of your lungs. Just make sure you do it where no one else can hear.

It's up to you to make the changes

Always keep in mind “Until you walk a mile in the shoes of another” you have no idea what is going on in their life, just as they have no idea what is going on in yours. If you cannot have compassion or empathy for others, then zip the lips. In this case it is better to say nothing at all than the wrong thing. We have enough issues to deal with, we don’t need more arguments. Be the one who helps bridge the gap. The one who helps get this Country back on track, to once again Unite, to make repairs and strengthen our Country. One at a time we can do it.


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    • Sweetsusieg profile image

      Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

      Mari ana - I sent you a note on how to get to me!! Thanks so much for asking!

    • profile image

      Mari ana  6 years ago

      Susie..I am your fan. This article is really fantastic. How can I get more of your writings? Let me know in my message at Gather.I loved the story of the child in the institution and how you cared for him as he became an adult. It was touching and so speaks volumns of your heart. Thank you for letting me join you here. mari ana.

    • Sweetsusieg profile image

      Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

      LOL!! What a waste of perfectly good eggs!! But a great idea nonetheless. Maybe that's the point... Having anger is a waste??

      So many things we control in this world, our reactions to others being one of them. If we just took a minute out of our busy schedule to be a little kinder to people, what a world of difference we could make.

      Thanks for stopping by!!

    • jseven profile image

      jseven 6 years ago from Michigan

      Very true and the only way people will change is to have a change of heart, be more serving rather than self-serving and allow others to have their views. We don't have to agree or vote the same way, but we do need to respect other people no matter how much we don't like their views.

      The people that lose my respect are the abusers, controllers and ones who feel the liberty to use foul language at any time, anywhere, around anyone.

      My counselor once told me to take a dozen eggs in the woods and throw them at a tree one by one, naming every thing that angered or hurt me. I've yet to do it, but it would sure beat spouting off verbally to everyone I dislike. ;)

    • Sweetsusieg profile image

      Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

      LOL - Yes this is true!!

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 6 years ago from Texas

      Getting into the car with doors closed and windows up is another good place to get it all out without offending someone.

    • Sweetsusieg profile image

      Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

      LOL - But what if they have athletes foot?? ewwww.. Just kidding!

      Yes, you and I were raised in times when common sense was common place. In today's world the generation that is up and coming has either not been taught or if they have been taught it hasn't been reinforced in all areas such as school, home, friends' parents etc..

      I've turned into quite the lecturer!! LOL It seems that I do this an awful lot these days!! Poor kids that come around me, it's almost guaranteed they will get a good talking to!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      Like you, susie, I, too, believe in the adage: "Walk a mile in someone else's shoes . . . " Two reasons:

      1 - Not only can you begin to understand the other person's point of view, but

      2. After walking a mile, you are far enough away to keep their shoes!

      Seriously - this was common sense information we all know about but seldom practice.