Indoctrinitus

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   mischeviousmeposted 12 years ago

   The sometimes chronic condition of religious belief, caused by the psychological ingestion of metaphor and "truth" as fact. Disease is marked by excessive need to attend church, deny factual information and presumes logic where there is none.
   
   Treatment:
   Increasing doses of science has been shown to cure indoctrinitus, some cases are irreversible and the patient is too far submerged in delusion. If indoctrinitus is detected early, the patient stands higher chances of a full recovery.

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      Hokeyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Funny!

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   paradigmsearchposted 12 years ago

   Bump

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3. 61

   Eric Newlandposted 12 years ago

   Atheism has been proven to prevent 90% of all indoctrinitus oubreaks.
   
   WARNING: Side effects may include headache, dry mouth, irritability, cynicism, narrow-mindedness, superiority complex, antisocial behavior, intolerance, sarcastic catch phrases, ulcers, jadedness, boredom, quoting George Carlin like he's the most brilliant man who ever lived, materialism, combativeness, stubbornness, bigotry toward people you think are bigots, disrespectfulness, playground name-calling, inability to live and let live, paranoia, judgmentalness, angry outbursts, and depression. Users may also attract condescending pity, quotes from books you don't believe in, lectures, emotional pleas, and pamphlets that insult your intelligence.
   
   Some rare cases have reported an ability to coexist with religious people more or less peacefully. Consult a doctor before use if you have high blood pressure or are taking an LMAO-inhibitor. Discontinue use and consult a clergyman if you find yourself in a foxhole or are stricken blind on the road to Damascus.

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      Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Too much ill-will here. I think it's an outbreak of ignoramusitis. You don't really know enough about science to be touting it's belief.

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         Hokeyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Also funny!

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      jonnycomelatelyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      The condition is well described in a book written in the ancient language of
      "Churchilingus."  The condition can be accompanied by periods of Condemnitude (brought on by some of the anti-biotics administered in good faith).

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         mischeviousmeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         The patient may pull paragraghs from their "book" of magic and also is known to go door to door, hence spreading the disease further. When they find a gullible audience, they infect their minds with the Church hubris virus.

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      PhoenixVposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You left out richard dawkins adulation and applying evolution to cosmological theories, flat tires, headaches, excessive utility bills etc. You also left out vacuous claims of "science"- its science, I'm science, you dont like science, and science is like wow.

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         Eric Newlandposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         I've seen way more people quote George Carlin and House on these forums than Dawkins. Seems actual humanist thinkers take a back seat to comedians and fictional characters.

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   knolyourselfposted 11 years ago

   "Or as it is explained to Neo in the film, “The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system, and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.”"

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   Druid Dudeposted 11 years ago

   Comedians are the political commentaries of our day. I like Lewis Black's idea for choosing the next President. It has to do with a monkey, a plane, and the first person the monkey walks up to.

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