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Love Transcends Death
Hello There, VivBounty here to share with you our experiences after losing our father 18 years ago. I believe my dad watches over me and is a part of my guidance system. I was pondering this one day after my father died when I opened the weekend paper Lifestyle section and saw a full page article entitled "Love Transcends Death". Being a wordmeister, I loved having a clear concise way to sum up a huge idea.
It must be said here that this HubPage is inspired by KCC's tribute to her son, Kevin and our shared belief system, not religion, that we are always in communication with those we love and many times this comes through in the most vivid and real dreams.
7 months after my father died, I got married. A couple of weeks before the wedding had a very real dream in which the phone was ringing. With all the commotion of impending nuptials and people scurrying around I didn't understand why no one was picking up the phone. I was having a pedicure in this dream and calling out for someone to answer the phone already, which they did only to be met with a hang up. This happened 2 more times in my dream. Finally, on the 4th ring, I hobbled with wet toe nails over to the phone, answered it and was greeted by my dad's voice saying he needed to tell me something. He said "I'm a bit busy right now, but I'm sending Uncle Ronnie to give you away. Is that ok?" to which I of course replied "Yes!", as this was the brother who spent the most time with me in the hospital nursing my dad through terminal cancer. In the morning I was telling my mum about this dream and how real it was, feeling like I was awake through it all, when Uncle Ronnie actually called me. He had traveled from England to Canada during Dad's illness, again for is funeral and was certain he would not be able to afford to come over again for the wedding. Imagine my surprise when he said he'd come into some money and would be able to attend after all. We immediately agreed that he would give me away after I relayed my Dad's instructions.
Sometime later our middle sister found a lump in her breast. She had the usual fear, called us, went to the doctor, got a mammogram, ultrasound, and was scheduled for a biopsy right away. Living 6 hours away, I quickly made plans to go and be with her and her family throughout the procedure. Her children were only 8 and 5 years old then. The night before her biopsy she had a very vivid, real dream in which Dad phoned her to tell her not to worry that everything would be alright. She was the child he felt to be the strongest and when he had decided not to fight the cancer anymore, he asked me to phone her and let her know he really wasn't well which prompted her to make the six hour drive to the hospital alone after work. She arrived the hospital late and had made up her mind that she would stay there all night. Mum could not persuade her to come home with us to rest and return in the morning. Dad waited until we had all gone home, and peacefully slipped away holding her hand at 1:15 a.m. Now months later, true to his word in her dream, and much to our relief, the results of the biopsy were benign
4 months after my wedding, our eldest sister began having migraines. After extensive tests, MRIs, and angiograms she was found to have a congenital malformation in the thalmic region of her brain. Interestingly, this is the daughter, our father asked our mother on his dying bed to make sure she looks after. He said that the middle and youngest ones would be ok but take care of this one. She was scheduled to have a complicated proceedure to embolize this A.V.M., arterial vascular malformation, which required having a "halo", as they called it fastened into her skull to get an exact path to the A.V.M., large doses of radiation administered using the MRIs and angiograms as maps to avoid unneccessary damage to surrounding areas of the brain. Hearing of our "phone calls" from dad, she was wondering why with her diagnosis and unsure prognosis dad wasn't coming to her in a dream phone call. On the day of the procedure, considerably more painful and involved than the video they had given her to watch depicted, she spent a whole day preparing painfully for a 6-minute powerful blast of radiation. Throughout this day, she could smell Dad's particular aftershave (hospital personnel are prohibited from wearing fragrance), and because she was to remain alert, there was no anesthetic involved. All day she kept feeling an invisible hand stroking her cheek, another perculiarly "Dad" gesture when his girls needed comfort.
I surmise now that he didn't "phone" her to say that it would be alright as the procedure was not successful in preventing a brain hemhorrage resulting in her disability. She is however a stroke survivor who lives each day to the fullest, singing her way into the hearts of everyone she meets saying "Dad always wanted me to be a singer. I wonder if he's proud of me?". I think we all know deep inside that he is.
For me personally, each time I have relocated to a new country, I have always had a sign my dad is around me, whether it's the inexplicable smell of his favorite foods or the sensation of the hand on my cheek, which is a very comforting thought.
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A really moving tribute to a mother. Beautiful, touching words