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Relationship dreams interpretation

Updated on January 22, 2013

If you are having relationship dreams, interpretation of them can give you more insight about someone in your life and your relationship with that person. So here are some thoughts on how you can use these nightly movies to tell you more of what's going on with a person you are involved with, when he or she appears in your dreams.

Overview of dreams and their interpretation

Think of your dream as "an independent eye". It stems from the part of your psyche that you ignore, your unconscious mind. In my research about dreams, I've learned that we are conscious of about four per cent of what's going on around us. The other 96 percent is continually processed by our unconscious, and it never sleeps. It takes in nuances, gestures, grimaces, hidden clues that don't always present immediately.If we're tuned in, dreams can tell us what's really going on in our relationships.

For example, dreams can tell us about things to watch out for at the beginning of a relationship. I especially watch for this when I start seeing someone. Dreams can also tell us about issues we are struggling with as we are in quite entrenched in that relationship. And dreams can help give us some solace and insight, once a relationship ends so we can make some sense of it all.

I have found from my own experience and from talking to others that the dreams we have at the outset of a relationship can tell us a lot if we're paying attention. They can give us warning signs good omens and bad omen.

Dreams of past relationships

More recently I dreamed of a boyfriend from long ago, a youthful romance with someone who broke my heart. Meanwhile, I was tangled in the emotional swirl of a short-lived dating relationship with someone else, someone who I initially liked a lot, but increasingly was feeling disenchanted with. After the very last time I saw this person, I had a dream of that long ago love. Hmmm...what does that mean?

I remembered from my previous research and experience that a past boyfriend who appears in a dream while you're seeing a current new love sometimes indicates a connection between the past and the present person. Perhaps they share some traits in common.Perhaps there's an old lesson that needs a refresher course. In this case, I realized that my potential partner was like the man I knew long ago in that he compartmentalized his life and his feelings with little desire to share extensively on either. Also, the two had shared the same name. Aha. Click. I think the dream was telling me I was in for more heartache if I continued with this guy. I didn't feel so bad when it ended, figuring I had been spared the worst. The dream gave me some reassurance.

Unresolved feelings: Sometimes a dream of a past relationship can be a clue of unresolved psychological issues, especially if the dream is a recurring one. At one time I had dreamt of a former flame who used to appear with a cold stare on his face, always ignoring me. I had continued to dream of him many years after we parted ways. In the relationship, he refused to see me as I was. On different levels the issues of abandonment and neglect and lack of acknowledgement had played out in my life. Suffice it say, I've worked through a lot of those and no longer have these kinds of dreams.

Relationship dreams meaning: When people appear in your dreams

What do relationship dreams mean? What does it mean when someone you are involved with appears in your dreams ( and often they do, especially our friends, partners, and loved ones)? They appear for many reasons. Sometimes the relationship dream will have a message about that person. Sometimes, that person's appearance in your dream is more symbolic.

Personally, when I see people in my life showing up in my dreams, there is usually a blunt message about something I've ignored in my waking life. Remember, a dream is usually about your waking life. Here are some examples from the dream journal I kept some time ago and from other people I've talked to.

The boy in the Blue Plastic Suit of armor: Once, I dreamt of someone I knew, ( a guy of course) who arrived at my door sporting a blue plastic suit of armor. When I answered the door, the armor melted away and standing in front of me was a scared boy in his underwear. I had been spending a lot of time with Mr. Blue Plastic, but growing frustrated in the friendship. Now I knew why!

My dream interpretation: My take on it was that this person had presented a solid but plastic front, and was emotionally immature. "Click". "Aha". That one worked. Your body knows which dream interpretation is correct.

The guy with the shopping bag: Another time, I dreamt of another male acquaintance who appeared with shopping bag in hand. My contact him was odd, sporadic, somewhat meaningful and somewhat strange. I couldn't really figure out his behavior. When I woke from the dream, I realized he was just shopping around for a relationship. Click! Aha! That felt right.

Aha reaction - Those of you who have read my other hubs (see below) will know about the "Aha" reaction. It's the body-mind click, the gut reaction if you like that says, "yes, of course, that's right!". It takes a while to train yourself, but you can start by asking yourself yes-no questions about the contents of your dreams. Then pause and see how it feels. If you're not tuned into to your intuition, you could take a more down to earth approach, trial and error and see which one makes the most sense to you logically.

The cougar: I talked to a woman once who told me a man she had been dating appeared to her one night as a cougar. She admitted that he seemed somewhat mysterious and dangerous (had not given her his address) and only wanted to see her when he wanted.

The roller coaster: One time I dreamt about that a man I was seeing was riding with me on a roller coaster at an amusement park. The metaphor here is obvious. He was a moody sort, sometimes upbeat, sometimes sullen, and needless to say, I found my own moods affected by his behavior-- an emotional roller coaster. I had overlooked his behavior in my interactions with him--sometimes we only see what we want to see. But trust a dream to get your attention, especially when you are asleep at the switch. The fact that the dream was in an amusement park also told me that this relationship did not have serious possibilities. Needless to say, it ended sometime after I had that dream.

The passenger: Before Julia married her former husband she dreamt he was a passenger in her car. Her fiance initially was quite sweet and evoked motherly feelings her. But in the dream, the sweet man, the passenger in her car turned angry and violent. Unfortunately, the scenario played out in her marriage. Julia tended to over-mother her husband, who had a tendency to be over dependent. As long as he didn't have to work or take more responsibility, he was sweet and nice. But the neediness wore Julia out and when she became frustrated by his inability to grow up, she stopped rescuing him. Then, Julia's husband became verbally abusive.

Interpreting your own dreams

This is just a brief over view of how your dreams can give you clues about your relationships. In my family I'm the "dream girl" and people often call me and tell me their dreams that they are struggling with. I can give you a few tips here for deciphering you nightly movies:

1. Tell yourself before you go to bed that you will remember your dreams. If that doesn't work, at the very least be sure to write down the ones that are most memorable. Even one piece of information is a clue.

2. Keep a notebook by your bed. As soon as you wake up write something down before the memories evaporate. You do dream every night and the more you start writing down the more you'll remember. Pay attention to settings, and to people, and to what they say. All these have clues for you. The more you record your dreams the better you get at it.

3. Don't worry if you don't know what it all means right away. Sometimes dreams can have surface meaning that are quite literal and deeper psychological meanings. Sometimes the meanings of your dream reveal themselves over time.

4. Query each detail. Ask yourself, what does "x" mean to me. So if the dream takes place in a "car". Ask yourself what does a car mean to me. Then wait to sense the answer. For me, a car is about driving along the road of life. Ask yourself "who is driving" the car? Are in you in a cab? Is someone else driving? These can have meanings about control or lack of control, or allowing another person to lead the way.

Keep recording your dreams

Dreams have been called a window to the soul. They can help you access your wiser self, and give you insight and information to cope with your daily life. Keep recording your dreams! There is no end to the information you will be able to learn about yourself and your life and your relationships.


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