Strange Bible Verses | Weird Bible Quotes
You Won't Believe these Quotes are in the Bible!
I've been studying the Bible a lot recently and have come across a lot of strange quotes, I don't want to upset anyone but I've got to share them with you. There are 31,000 verses in the Bible so it's hardly surprising that there are quite a few bizarre ones. All verses are referenced so that you can check them yourself and read them in context. Christians should become aware of these Bible Passages because at some time or other skeptics will throw them at you.
It was never intended that uninstructed people read the Bible. I think that when the Synoptic texts were compiled hundreds of years after Jesus that it was already known that much exact information had been lost and although they were aware of many inconsistencies they preferred to leave them so as to allow future interpretation. That interpretation is still going on today.
Strange Bible Quotes
- The Iron Chariots
And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron. Judges 1:19
- Don't call Elisha Baldy
Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. "Go away, baldy!". Elisha turned around and looked at them, and he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of them. 2 Kings 2:23,24
- Jacob Physically Fights with God
Your name will no longer be Jacob," the man told him. "From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won. Genesis 32:28
- Crabby Wives
It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife. Proverbs 21:19
- The Talking Donkey
Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?" Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now." Numbers 22:21-29
- The Talking Snake
Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden '?" Genesis 3:1
- Poor animal doubly punished
If a man has relations with an animal, he must be put to death, and the animal must be killed. Leviticus
- Women don't help your husband in a fight
If men get into a fight with one another, and the wife of one intervenes to rescue her husband from the grip of his opponent by reaching out and seizing his genitals, you shall cut off her hand; show no pity. Deuteronomy 25:11
- Being a Good Host
Look, I have two daughters, virgins both of them. Let me bring them out to you and you could do what you like with them. But do nothing to these men because they have come under the shelter of my roof . Judges 19:24
- The Naked Man
A young man was following Him [Jesus], wearing nothing but a linen sheet over his naked body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and escaped naked. Mark 14:51-52.
This is one of the most mysterious passages in the New Testament and is much argued over by scholars.
- Those Troublesome Wives
A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands. Proverbs 27:15-16
- Wear Clothes all of the same material
Don't wear clothes made of different kinds of material Leviticus 19:19
- Jesus Curses the Fig Tree
Jesus was hungry and when he found that the Fig Tree bore no fruit (it was not the season) he cursed it. Later on the disciples noted that the tree had withered. (paraphrased) Mark 11:12-14. This is another passage which excites much interest from scholars.
- Nephilim: The Sons of God
When men began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Genesis 6:1
- When will The Second Coming occur?
[Jesus] Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, until all these things be accomplished . Mark 13:30
- God does not like Dung
And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon: and it shall be when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig with it, and shalt turn back, and cover that which cometh from thee, for Yahweh your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you, and to give up your enemies before you; therefore your camp shall be holy, that he may not see an unclean thing in you, and turn away from you. Deuteronomy 23:13-14
- Jesus loses disciples
From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him John 6:66
- The Sun Stands Still
The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day.
Joshua asked God to delay the sunset so that he could finish off his enemies.
- In the Beginning the GODS created the Earth
Yes in Hebrew Bible it says elohim which means the Gods.
- Scribe puts his own message in St Paul's Epistle
I Tertius, who wrote this epistle, salute you in the Lord
- Road Kill
Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an foreigner living in any of your towns and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner.
- Jesus makes himself invisible?
Then they took up stones to cast at Him; but Jesus hid Himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by. John 8:59
- Biblical Cure for Leprosy
Get two birds. Kill one. Dip the live bird in the blood of the dead one. Sprinkle the blood on the leper seven times.
- See below for more Strange & Funny Bible Verses
For there are eunuchs, that were so born from their mother's womb: and there are eunuchs, that were made eunuchs by men: and there are eunuchs, that made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. Matthew 19:12
- Xmas Trees are Pagan?
For the customs of the peoples are vanity; for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.
Vocabulary for Studying the Bible
(Just a taster)
The Bible is the most printed, the most read, the most studied, the most argued about book in the world. Although it is from 2000 to 3000 years old new things are still being discovered about it. Archaeology is still disproving or proving many passages . Old bibles are still being discovered, alternative versions, other gospels. In these ways the Holy Bible is often in the news.
- Christian Apologetics
Apologetics attempt to explain or rationalize difficult parts of theology and the Bible.
Official parts of the Bible
The study of how one interprets texts
- Textual Criticism
The study of differing readings of the biblical text in ancient manuscripts.
What is the exact nature of Jesus, this ranges from an inspired visionary but a man, to the Son of God, to a spirit.
- Christian Eschatology
Dealing with the End of the World
Do you Study the Bible?
Do you read the Holy Bible?
Violent Bible Quotes
- Those Dreadful Midanites
Moses said therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who hath known a man by lying with him.
But all the women children, who have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. Numbers 31:15-18
- God Punishes King David for organizing a Census
So the Lord sent pestilence upon Israel: and there fell of Israel seventy thousand men. I can't find out why holding a census would displease God.
- Poor Old Uzzah
When they came to the threshing floor of Kidon, Uzzah reached out his hand to steady the ark, because the oxen stumbled. The LORD's anger burned against Uzzah, and he struck him down because he had put his hand on the ark. 1 Chronicles 13:9-10
- Disobedient Children
If you curse your father or mother, you will be put to death, and it will be your own fault. Leviticus 20:9
- Beating your Slaves
If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave survives a day or two, since the slave is his property Exodus 21:20-21
- Thou Shalt not Kill
"Moses" stood at the entrance to the camp and shouted, "All of you who are on the LORD's side, come over here and join me." And all the Levites came. He told them, "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: Strap on your swords! Go back and forth from one end of the camp to the other, killing even your brothers, friends, and neighbors." The Levites obeyed Moses, and about three thousand people died that day. Then Moses told the Levites, "Today you have been ordained for the service of the LORD, for you obeyed him even though it meant killing your own sons and brothers. Because of this, he will now give you a great blessing." (Exodus 32:26-29)
- Punishment for Worshiping Baal
I [GOD] will make the people eat the flesh of their sons and daughters. Jeremiah 19:6
- The Unlucky Amalekites
[GOD] Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. 1 Samuel 15:3
- King Solomon Kills his brother for Obscure Reasons
So King Solomon gave orders to Benaiah son of Jehoiada, and he struck down Adonijah and he died . 1 Kings 2:25
- God decides to Annihilate the Israelites
Then the glory of Yahweh appeared to all the Israelites, and Yahweh said to Moses, 'How much longer will these people treat me with contempt? How much longer will they refuse to trust me? I shall strike them with a pestilence and destroy them!' Numbers 14:10-12
- Sacrificing his Daughter
And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands,Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering,...And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter...Judges 11:30-40. I found this one because it had troubled a believer.
- Kill Unbelievers
Suppose you hear in one of the towns the LORD your God is giving you that some worthless rabble among you have led their fellow citizens astray by encouraging them to worship foreign gods. In such cases, you must examine the facts carefully. If you find it is true and can prove that such a detestable act has occurred among you, you must attack that town and completely destroy all its inhabitants, as well as all the livestock Deuteronomy 13:15
- Kill your Own Family
If your own full brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife, or you intimate friend, entices you secretly to serve other gods, whom you and your fathers have not known, gods of any other nations, near at hand or far away, from one end of the earth to the other: do not yield to him or listen to him, nor look with pity upon him, to spare or shield him, but kill him. (Deuteronomy 13:7-12 NAB)
- Working on Sunday: You Must Die
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death. Exodus 35:2
- There is a Hell
The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and those who practice lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. Matthew 13:40-43
- Stoned for Gathering Sticks on the Sabbath
They found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp. And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.
More Strange Bible quotes
- Moses Allowed to see the Lords Back
And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen. Exodus 33:23
- Unicorns in the Bible
Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Job 39:9
But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there. Isaiah 13:21
- 500,000 die in a single battle
500,000 Israelites are slain in a single battle. 2 Chronicles 13:17
This is about twice the number that died in the entire US Civil War.
- The Saints Rise from the Dead
And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,
And came out of the graves after his (Jesus) resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. Matthew 27:52-53
(This is only in Matthew)
- Drinking Poison
They will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover Mark 16:18 (Many have died testing this)
- God Tries to Kill Moses
And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD met him [Moses], and sought to kill him. Exodus 4:24-27.
This is one of the most difficult and debated passages of the Bible. It is as though there is a missing section.
- Damaged Private Parts
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. Deuteronomy 23:1
- Marital Advice
It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I [Paul] do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7
- Giving Birth
A Woman who gives birth to a son will be unclean for a week, however should she give birth to a girl she shall be unclean for 2 weeks. (Paraphrased from Leviticus 12:2 & 12:5)
- Abraham's Father worshiped Other Gods
'Thus said Jehovah, God of Israel, Beyond the River have your fathers dwelt of old -- Terah father of Abraham and father of Nachor -- and they serve other gods Joshua 24:2
- Talking Snake
Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which Jehovah God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden Genesis 3:1
- Jonah and the Whale
"Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights." -Jonah 1:17
- Jesus Drinking
The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.'
- Peter is Satan?
But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men
- The Apostle Jesus Loved
Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee? John 21:20
The Apostle who Jesus loved only appears in the Gospel of St John.
- Bible Text is False
How can you say, 'We're wise, and the Law of the LORD is with us,' when, in fact, the deceitful pen of the scribe has made it into something that deceives . Jeremiah 8:8
Where'd That Come From? - Everyday Expressions Found in the Bible
This book is ever popular!
Odd & Weird Passages in the Bible
- The Saints Rose From Their Graves
"and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, and came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many." Matthew 27:52-53
Funny Bible Quotes and Verses
- I always get drowsy when listening to a lecture
As Paul spoke on and on, a young man named Eutychus, sitting on the windowsill, became very drowsy. Finally, he fell sound asleep and dropped three stories to his death below. Acts 20:9
- Beer or Wine
Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish.
- Working on the Sabbath
My Aunt relates that when she was young they could only eat cold food prepared the day before, the only book that could read was the Bible and so on.
- God creates Evil
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.Isaiah 45:7
The translation and meaning of this verse is much disputed by Bible Apologetics.
- Jesus a Glutton?
The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.