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Five Things I HATE About Sports

Updated on January 1, 2014

I consider myself a “sports guy”.
The guy that watches the highlights, then on his way to work listens to talking heads on the radio discuss the same exact thing I was watching on the television.
I can contribute to conversations about current events, politics and music, but sports is generally a topic in my wheel house. Huge NFL fan, casual golf watcher and passing supporter of MLB. Mix in some hoops, a little MMA and I tend to bring sports up in many of my conversations.
Being such an avid follower of professional athletes most of my life, I have grown to love many things about the world of ESPN and dot coms and fantasy leagues, et cetera. This particular article is about none of that. Here is what irks me about my favorite past times.

Home, Sweet Home

courtesy: Flickr - jacorbett70
courtesy: Flickr - jacorbett70

Home Advantage

Other than the NFL, I see no real benefit to playing for home field/court/ice advantage. MLB has it so backwards they use an exhibition to determine which league will have the “advantage” of the home field in the World Series. The NBA used to have the top seed on the road for 3 games in a row in the Finals. This is advantageous? Lose one of two at home, then get swept on the road and the “advantage” is about as valuable as a conference championship ring.
My fix: keep the top seeds at home until they lose. Advantage home team.

"Must Win" Games

As a youth, it is a nice lesson to learn that winning isn’t everything.
Grown men, getting paid to play a game for a living, come up with phrases such as, “Men, I'll be honest. Winning isn't everything. (Long pause.) Men, it's the only thing!" As a professional athlete, getting paid to win games (pardon me, entertain fans), childhood lessons tend to take a back seat.
Did the Orlando Magic lose the first two games of the NBA Finals because they were only in possibly win situations, or perhaps give it your best try situations?
The point of EVERY professional game played is to defeat the opponent.  There are no moral victories, there are no ‘at a boys, there are no get ‘em next times. 
Just win, baby! (thanks Al)

They're Grrrreeeeeeat

The most worn-out, clichéd and misused word in the sports world when describing today’s professional and amateur athletes. I have heard rookies be referred to as “great”. To label a guy who has never hoisted an NBA three-pointer, in the same manner that one would label Michael Jordan, is sacrilege, blasphemy and irreverent.
One can make a great play, have a great game, but such feats do not make a athlete great. Six world championships, three before AND after retirement, make you great. Earning the moniker Sweetness makes you great. Having one good year in college does not.

No Flip in Vlade's Flop

courtesy: espn
courtesy: espn

No Blood, No Foul

I will have to check my database, but I believe 17760 consecutive NBA games have been played since a player has agreed with a referee’s calls (thank you John Stockton). Every single game you watch these days, million dollar athletes are throwing tantrums my buddy’s two-year old son is embarrassed to see.
This is not to say NBA refs are pinpoint accurate (when is the last time you’ve seen a correct traveling call; two and ¾ steps?). However, spotting a defensive player moving his feet might be the second easiest call in sports, this side of an incomplete pass. The hand IS part of the ball, but it becomes a foul when the defensive player takes the entire hand along with the basketball on his supposed steal.
I am proud of Pau Gasol though, the new Vlade Divac of the flop.

The Months of June and July

I am a rare San Diego native and as the May Grey clears a path for the June Gloom, I look forward to a summer full of 78-degree days, barbeques at the bay, losing a few bucks on the ponies at Del Mar and another losing season from the hometown Padres.
At the end of June and entering July, I have the NBA draft, Neckcar (Nascar for the layperson) and tennis.  Dreadful.
NFL camps open near the end of July, so unless you’re a huge golf fan, you’re probably searching your DVR for games you recorded back in November just to occupy your time.  Baseball’s 162-game schedule does not begin to draw me in until maybe (maybe) September.  MMA keeps fresh with fights every few weeks, which keeps me on my toes.  The College World Series (ping) is great (ping) if you happen (ping) to be home at 2:30 (ping) in the afternoon.  Somewhere, a Canadian is pissing in a cup handed down from Lord Stanley himself.  The WNBA; well, I was just informed the league has in fact not folded.  I’ll make note.
Sports fans do not fear, August rolls around quickly.

Bonds' favorite juice is rumored to not be apple

Extra Periods

“Get in the Hole” Guy at every single PGA event – it was funny once, maybe twice. Now you sound like an idiot when you yell your cup finding phrase on the tee of a 500-yard hole.
side note: Tiger Woods does not like to be interrupted while on the green, especially when the interruption comes from your drunk buddy who is along the rope yelling, “you can do it!”, in a half-drunken, half-Spanish accent. Thanks to the Kiwis for supplying the brews.

The Guy who wears the alternate colors to represent his teams – wearing the Yankees logo in red to go with your outfit is something my girlfriend would do.

Steroids – please die steroids topic, please. I just want to act like a little kid and plug my ears every time I hear this topic brought up. La laaaa, laa laaa la! I cant hear you!

How many hours per week do you spend watching sports on television?

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