A CMLL Running Diary on the Fourth of July
Ah the Fourth of July; a day to celebrate America's independence, wonder what the hell has happened to the country and to eat a whole lot of hot dogs, hamburgers or my case pizza. Oh, and it's now also the day I do a CMLL Running Diary! Because what's more American than writing about masked Mexican wrestlers doing high spots? Honestly the only thing more inexplicable would be CMLL leaving Sam Adonis (a dude literally doing an American nationalist gimmick right now) off tonight's show...OH WAIT THEY DID! I don't know where I was going with that point but who cares; I'm writing this, don't try to stop me America! Moses, stop singing that damn song that's been played a million times on the radio today and meme.
8:34: Just got promoting in time for the show to go LIVE!!! We start with Stukita and Fantasy vs. Mercurio and Pequeno Nitro. We're good for at least one cool Stukita moment and one Fantasy Spanish Fly. Guaranteed I tell you!
8:35: Mercurio and Fantasy start and, you guessed it, they're on the mat. More predictable then a firework going off five minutes away from my house and making me think the JFK assassination is happening all over again.
8:37: Forgive me; I was momentarily distracted from the action by Sexy Star posting a photo of herself all sweaty on Twitter. It's like I turned into my buddy Skitz for a second.
8:38: And like clockwork, Skitz is already trying to get me to show him the Sexy Star picture. A humanitarian and a scholar he is. Meanwhile Stukita is owning Nitro on the mat with a bunch of cool submissions, including a rolling Romero Special. Gotta love those rolling Romero Specials.
8:40: Fantasy and Mercurio are in and Fantasy gets the edge with some speed and a hurricanrana. They quickly depart so Stukita can turn the jets on against Nitro, sending him to the floor and then dodging Mercurio so Fantasy can come off the top with a crossbody.
8:41: Just like that the rudos are in control...or perhaps they aren't. Feels like this match just got whacked with a whole lot of timing issues. Luckily Mercurio ends it with a nice powerbomb on Stukita, then sets up Fantasy for a Nitro splash. 1-0 rudos. Okay until the end, when it got a little disjointed.
8:43: Just asked Skitz if he was going to print out that Sexy Star picture. Let's just say it would happen if he had a printer. SOMEONE GET SKITZ A PRINTER!
8:44: Oh yeah; there's wrestling going on. Nitro and Mercurio are beating up Fantasy and trying to tear his mask. Never happened in Arena Mexico before. Nope. Not at all.
8:47: Will this beat down ever end?! Actually yes it will. Fantasy avoids an attack and is on the offensive, until Mercurio kicks him to the outside. Unfortunately he immediately walks into Stukita, who drops him and then punts him away with a Stukita Splash. Fantasy gets back in and taps Nitro with a leg lock. We're tied and I hear fireworks.
8:48: Skitz just asked me about G.L.O.W. I said it was great but made the mistake of saying that Alison Brie had nude scenes in it. We may never hear from him again.
8:49: Fall three starts with the rudos retreating towards the stage, then coming back. Fantasy appears to want Nitro, but is instead getting Mercurio. Thus Stukita tags in.
8:51: Stukita with nice work as always; how CMLL can't find him something useful to do is beyond me. He sends Mercurio to the floor and poor Nitro has no choice to go after Fantasy, who by the way hasn't hit his Spanish Fly yet. UH OH!
8:53: Just when this match looked to be turning the corner, Nitro inexplicably pulled off Fantasy's match and the match is over. Okay then. Not much of a match and that ending just makes things worse. Maybe I should've left Game of Thrones on.
8:54: IT'S FLYER TIME BABY! He's teaming with Principe Diamante (who is trying to look like Volador, the poor bastard) and used future Rey Samuray (Sensei) to take on the soul sucking old man rudo team of Metalico, Sangre Azteca and Arkangel de la Muerte. Maybe Flyer should've stayed home and played Pokemon: Red with new dad Magnus.
8:59: WE'VE BEEN SAVED! Arkangel is nowhere to be found, so Misterioso Jr. will take his place. I don't care if he's as average as a Kate Hudson rom com; he's better than Arkangel and that's all that matters.
9:00: Flyer and Misterioso are captains and Edgar is the referee. Sweet. The captains will kick it off.
9:03: They've been going back and forth and are now brawling from the ramp to the floor! Misterioso slams Flyer into the barricade as I mispronounce slam flam. Some writer I am!
9:04: Diamante and Sangre Azteca are in while Flyer continues to sell on the floor. More back and forth here and it seems like this is more strike based than mat based thus far.
9:05: Metalico and Sensei are in and Sensei is quickly sent out. Flyer comes in and launches Metalico over his head for a slam. He kicks the rudo to the floor, finds himself alone with Azteca and is the victim of a mistimed Azteca dropkick.
9:06: Misterioso breaks up a Diamante pin and ends up hitting him with a Gory Buster. It looked like that was going to set up a Metalico dive, but Diamante collapsed, so Metalico just kicked him in the head and pinned him. They follow that up with Azteca double stomping Sensei on his nuts and it's 1-0 rudos. Perfectly uneventful.
9:09: Rudos are in control to start fall two and I just learned Kevin Owens may have said some racist stuff years ago. Brace yourselves; a shitstorm all over the internet is coming.
9:10: Azteca tosses Diamante out and poor Flyer is by himself. Triple team time. Metalico hits him in the balls (seriously, what is it with these old rudos going for the balls), but that'sall the advantage they'll get as Flyer hurricanranas Azteca to the ramp and starts taking it to Metalico!
9:11: Sensei and Diamante are in to help. Or they were till Misterioso threw Diamante out of the ring. Unfortunately he takes the time to taunt, and the next thing you know Flyer is rolling up Misterioso for a three! We're tied. Nice ending to an otherwise mediocre fall.
9:13: Flyer and Azteca start and Flyer is continuing to work like it's the Gran Alternativa. Several nice hurricanrana's to Azteca, followed by him taking Misterioso to Backbreaker City.
9:14: The rudos corner Flyer on the ramp, but he outsmarts all of them into hitting each other! Metalico and Azteca get mad at Misterioso but he calms them down and we're back to the ring.
9:15: Sensei and Metalico in. Lots of stalling before Sensei goes into his lucha martial arts routine. The timing appears to be way off for these guys; very poor.
9:16: Misterioso and Diamante are in. Diamante goes on offense quick and takes down the rudos multiple times...until Azteca botches catching Diamante on a hurricanrana. Never change old man rudos; never change.
9:17: Flyer is in with Misterioso. Hey, the only two dudes still with dignity in this match! Flyer sends Misterioso to the floor, but his dive is interrupted by Azteca. He then sends him and Metalico to the floor, but a triple dive attempt by the technicos ends with a rudo beat down. Of course; that would've been fun! Can't have that.
9:18: Azteca plants Flyer with a sitout powerbomb to give the rudos the win. Misterioso then continues his "unmask the dude after the match" storyline because why not? This was bad, other than Flyer trying hard and Misterioso being decent. Poor timing on a lot of moves, Azteca having his usual botches and of course, the technicos being made to look like chumps. Just a waste of time. I'd rather watch Basic Instinct again, and the only good thing about that was a coked up Michael Douglas. Oh, and I guess Sharon Stone.
9:21: Onto better things; Fuego, Stigma and Johnny Idol are taking on youngster Universo 2000 Jr., Cancerbero and Raziel. If they're allowed this could be fun. Like, Dev Patel is the only good thing in The Last Airbender fun.
9:25: Raziel and Idol are captains. Idol will start this match with Universo. Interesting pairing.
9:27: They've been keeping this on the mat; overall Universo continues to show a lot of promise. He exchanges slaps with Idol, then kicks, then...stares before Idol charges the ripes and puts the rook down with a shoulder block. Fuego and Raziel shall enter.
9:29: Fast paced chain wrestling from these two, with many counters and zero count pinfall attempts. Sadly it ends so Cancerbero and Stigma can come in.
9:30: Stigma looking good! He hits a nice hurricanrana on Cancerbero then gets a roll up for a near fall. Universo has seen enough so he's in to beat up Stigma and finally makes a mistake, dropping a sloppy knee drop. Keep composed kid. He calmly walks Stigma to the rudo corner, hits a slap then walks right into Idol, who's waiting with a DVD. Bye bye Universo Jr.
9:31: Back and forth by Raziel and Fuego till Raziel rolls out of the ring and gets nailed with a Fuego dive! Stigma then gets creative with a roll up on Cancerbero and just like that it's 1-0 technicos. Good start aside from Universo's one botch; he and Idol worked well, Stigma looked good and the Raziel/Fuego sequences were quite good.
9:33: Fall two begins with Cancerbero wanting a time out. YOU JUST HAD ONE DUDE! Needing to prove he's dumber than Cancerbero, Universo falls for Fuego's fake handshake trick and then gets owned by the veteran before Raziel and Cancerbero say "fuck it" and charge the ring. Hello beat down my old friend.
9:34: The rudos brutalize Stimga, who still kicks out of a Universo leg drop anyway. They send him out, bring Idol in and...hot damn it looks like something bad just happened to him. Maybe it was just selling. He's then sent to the floor and poor Fuego is by himself.
9:36: Universo nails a Blue Thunder Bomb, Tirantes can't decide if it's a pin or a submission (don't ask) and then finally counts Fuego out. Stigma comes in and an awesome dive assisted brainbuster by Cancerbero and Raziel takes care of him. We're tied. There's brief glimpses of good stuff here and then stupidity, like Tirantes not knowing how to do his job.
9:37: Fall three is on and I smell a "It's time for a comeback" meme in our future!
9:39: Rudos are in complete control as the crowd goes mild. Someone get the comeback going already!
9:40: Wait...I'm so confused. Fuego appeared to start a comeback, then Cancerbero appeared to submit Stimga (though it wasn't clear), then Idol hit a suicide dive, then Fuego rolled up Raziel for the win. Wow that was fast. Okay match; had some really good stuff, had some really mediocre stuff and ultimately concluded too fast to get back on the path towards good. Hopefully not the best match of the night.
9:43: Lightning match time. The really good Drone takes on the really good Puma in what should be a really good match. Finally.
9:45: Fast start, with the two trading head scissors and quick pin attempts. Drone then hits the ropes and nails a hurricanrana, sending Puma to the floor so he can hit a nice suicide dive!
9:46: Back in the ring. Drone hits a crossbody off the top, but Puma recovers quickly and nails a superkick. He takes time to play to the crowd before whipping Drone into the corners for a few clotheslines, followed by a heavy Shotgun Dropkick. More playing to the crowd.
9:47: Puma with his delayed vertical suplex where he waves to the crowd. It never gets old. He finally goes for a cover but only gets a near fall. Seven and a half minutes to go.
9:48: Drone slides out of the ring, knocks Puma off the apron then hits an AWESOME triangle tornillo plancha to the floor! It's heating up.
9:49: Back in the ring. The two exchange strikes before hitting the ropes, with Drone hitting an arm drag and a headscissors. He then kicks the spit out of Puma's mouth, sending him into the ropes and leaving the rudo in prone position for a knee attack. Drone pushes his luck trying for a hurricanrana to the floor though, as Puma catches him and swings him into the barricade! We're nearly five minutes in.
9:50: Hard Irish Whip into the barricade by Puma. He throws Drone back in, goes up top and takes a palm strike. Drone then nails a top rope arm drag, but only gets two on the cover. He whips Puma into the corner, hits some running knees, but gets caught by Puma going for another and is dropped down hard for a near fall.
9:51: Back in the corner. Drone whips Puma to the other corner, gets caught with a kick but catches Puma with one of his own as Puma goes for a dive. He then hits a slingshot Spanish Fly! Near fall. Puma recovers, slams Drone down and hits a Standing Senton for a near fall.
9:52: AWESOME Lionsault by Drone. Another near fall. Less than three minutes to go. Drone is up top but gets crotched by Puma, who goes up and nails a great second rope superplex! Another near fall. Two minutes to go!
9:53: Irish Whip into the corner. Puma misses a charge, gets Tiger Kicked by Drone, avoids the Bala Knees only to get kicked back into the corner and nailed with them anyway! Drone goes for the cover...and he's got him! Drone wins with the Hombre Bala knee attack at the 8:30 mark. Very good match. Not perfect; some of the moves could've been crisper, but overall the effort was there, a lot of the stuff really clicked and the action moved at a great pace. Above average match.
9:56: It's semi-main time, with Blue Panther, the Panther and Angel de Oro taking on Sanson, Cuatrero and Forastero. This should be fun. You know what isn't; me taking this long to have another meme. What the hell am I even doing?!
9:58: You know who else is failing; CMLL! They advertised Blue Panther, played his music...only to reveal Junior is working in his place! Alrighty then. Should do little to affect the match, though it will lose a bit of Blue Panther's crazy creativity.
10:00: Was Junior just arguing with someone at the announcer's booth? More importantly, Sanson, Cuatrero and Forastero have made it very easy to tell them apart tonight; Forastero has the weird mask, Cuatrero is buffed up, Sanson is forever skinny.
10:01: Sanson and Angel de Oro are captains. Important to note that Oro is a champion...perhaps a Dinamita could challenge him?
10:02: Oro looked like he wanted to start with Cuatrero, then changed his mind and let Junior start instead.
10:03: Forastero comes in to break up a Junior submission, leading to some jawing between him and Oro. Junior then knocks Forastero off the apron and goes back to twisting up Forastero till Sanson comes in to break it up.
10:04: Edgar is starting to lose control of this match already! Sanson and Oro are now in.
10:05: Strike exchanges between the two before Oro hits the ropes. He rolls up Sanson and is about to get the Billy Goat's Curse locked in when Forastero and Cuatrero hit the ring. They dispose of Oro and Junior to focus on Panther, who they nail with a double Military Press/Swanton combo. Junior is soon in to face the music himself, eating a Cuatrero elbow to make it 1-0 rudos. Good stuff.
10:09: Fall two begins with, you guessed it, the rudos in complete control. It's like a broken record tonight! Junior is trying to fight back, but the triple team is too much for now.
10:10: WHAT! A! DOUBLE TEAM!
10:11: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time tonight...
10:12: Junior takes everyone and their brother to Backbreaker City at least once, followed by Angel de Oro getting that Billy Goat's Curse on Sanson for the submission. We're tied. The Dinamitas teamwork and the solid end to the fall kept things going there. I expect a hot third fall to close this out.
10:13: Sanson and Oro will start. Back and forth till Oro hits the ropes and runs into a Sanson big boot. The Dinamitas stomp on Oro, who then counters with a dropkick to Forastero, a super kick to Cuatrero and a triangle moonsault to the floor on Forastero!
10:14: Junior in. He clotheslines Sanson, hits a dropkick out of a roll and then backdrops poor Forastero. A thrust kick to the gut later leads to Junior hitting the ropes, but Forastero strikes back with a dropkick himself to Junior to the floor, followed by a nice suicide dive.
10:15: Panther is in, he's going fast, he sends Sanson to the floor and WHAT A TOPE! Oro and Forastero in. Forastero sets him up for a Swanton, misses and gets caught in the Billy Goat's Curse. Bye bye Forastero.
10:16: Following another GREAT suicide dive by Panther, Junior gets Cuatrero caught in a crossface and that's all she wrote. Technicos win a good match. Not their best and I wish these six had gotten more time, but the action was good while it lasted. Panther exploded off the screen at the end, Oro looked good, Junior's backbreaker sequence was really strong and the Dinamitas continue to impress. Back to back good matches; it's like it's New Japan or Lucha Underground in here.
10:20: Main event time. Diamante Azul, Marco Corleone and Volador Jr. take on Negro Casas, Big Euf and Gran Guerrero. There's yet to be any angles set up on this show and this doesn't seem to be a match that will get a ton of time; let's see if CMLL decides to put a match together.
10:23: CASAS GOES RIGHT AFTER VOLADOR! We're off and it looks like Volador vs. Negro Casas is in the cards. YEAH BABY!
10:24: The rudos now set their signs on Marco, double teaming him till he's sent out of the ring. Diamante Azul (who looks bigger than usual) comes in and he is soon tasting pain as well.
10:25: Casas corners Volador on the apron, forcing him into the ring so he can get triple teamed. Gran lifts him as high as he can and Volador comes right down on a Euforia kick. That'll do it for fall one; good stuff and if the Casas attack on Volador is any indication of where we're going then I'm going to enjoy this.
10:27: Volador is getting WRECKED to start fall two. Volador hasn't targeted Negro yet so this could wind up being a set up to a trios rematch instead.
10:28: Dives by Azul and Marco! That finally leaves Volador and Casas alone and Volador quickly connects with a super kick to tie it up. I don't know what to believe anymore.
10:29: Fall three begins with Azul throwing Casas into Big Euf, slamming Big Euf as hard as he can and hitting Gran Guerrero with a running clothesline. Good stuff.
10:30: Volador and Casas are in! They go at it back and forth style before Volador sends Casas to the floor. The Guerreros come in and Volador owns both of them, sending them to the floor too before faking a dive.
10:31: Marco and Casas in for the annual Marco/Casas comedy section. And yes, they play the same greatest hits they always do and yes it's entertaining as always.
10:32: Marco takes down Big Euf and Gran Guerrero with several punches, then hits a top rope crossbody on both followe by the push ups. That's more than the rudos can take, so they send Marco to the stage. Uh oh! Then they send Diamante to the stage. UH OH!!!
10:33: Right on cue, Volador subdues Gran Guerrero and Euforia, sends Casas to the floor and watches as Marco and Azul hit dives from the stage. Technicos win and it looks like no Volador vs. Casas. Bummer. Okay main event, with some decent spots and action but not enough to leave a big impression. Oh well; at least the two preceding matches were good. Okay end to an okay show.
That'll do it sports fans. I'm off to watch more Game of Thrones! Living the good life I am, as the great Yoda would say. Till we meet again, THIS!