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HOGS VS BEES -- History of the Superbowl Part 13

Updated on January 18, 2010

Joe Theisman's name is not supposed to rhyme with Heisman, but it would after Plunkett beat him out for the prize in 1971.

If that makes any sense.

It's actually pronounced "THEEZ" man.


People wonder if a bunch of owners that are deliberately trying to rent the Superbowl before moving the team away would ever be something they saw the consequences of.

It happens by 82.

There's a player strike, one that lasts for almost two months.

This is a process, copied from Al Davis and Georgia, that involves not only creating an environment of "you better win", but does so under the guise of "the fuck should we pay you for?"

Lots of players were onto this.

All the best ones got the fuck out of this league the instant they still had the chance.

The tinge of artificial that the NFC had brought upon itself absolutely surprised established winners, now left to be the businessmen their pussy college roommates were.

You had to play as if you were thinking about the future.

How we get good enough stats to justify our raises?


Everybody in the NFL, who was white, would learn from it felt to be Warren Moon and Joe Gilliam.

But the season would get underway about two weeks in, and Washington and Dallas would be at the top.

Dallas still had Dorsett, who, being black and with few options for advancement with that retarded organization, had the best season ever.

He would singlehandedly bring them to the NFC Championship game.

Washington won.

Let's discuss the hogs for a moment.

Washington's offensive line went like this --

George Starke at left tackle from the early 70s until 84.

Russ Grimm the left guard from 1981 to 1991.

Jeff Bostic the center from 1980 to 1993.

Joe Jacoby the right tackle, 1981-1993.

Don Warren the tight end (Landry copycats, see?) 1979-1992

and then there was the man who was made an honorary hog, and he takes center stage in this hub.

John Riggins.

There's a few replacements of course by the time they win their second Superbowl, but here we're discussing Washington's first.

Their offensive line coach was their architect and head designer -- Joe Bugel.

He would be there from 1981 until 89, and then when Joe Gibbs returned to the Redskins in 2004, he brought Bugel back with him.

Meanwhile the Miami Dolphins still had only one offensive lineman from their days in the 70s, and that was their guard Kuetchenburg.

Their defense, tons of Killer Bees remaining, consisted of Doug Betters and Kim Bokamper as pass rushers, then Bob Brudzinski and a guy who you might be familiar with at the other tackle...Bob Baumhower.

Baumhower from King of the Hill.

Cowboys fans making fun of the big Miami Dolphin who floored Dorsett.

That dang ol thang dere dang it...

The Dolphins also had Don McNeal in their secondary and A.J. Duhe at linebacker who was pretty good.

Their safeties were the Blackwood twins (related? I dunno) Glenn and Lynn. Glenn was a strong, Lynn was a free.

Miami's star at the time on offense was big running back Andra Franklin.

Their quarterback was a guy who sucked forever, and that was very young David Woodley.

But halfway through the season, Jimmy? Cefalo started to emerge and became his favorite target.

This oddly mirrors the struggles of Washington that year, who had Thiesmann throwing to...not Art Monk...but Art Monk's replacement Alvin Garrett throughout a playoff run where the Lions, Vikings and Cowboys all fell.

The Jets would actually make it to Miami for the AFC crown. Freeman McNeil by now was better then all doz niggas. But Richard Todd would have nobody open versus the Bees.

Superbowl XVII went back and forth a SHORT while.

Miami was the favorites and they took the lead almost immediately, with Woodley, all but 24, throwing a fat ass touchdown bomb to Cefalo.

Washington kicked a field goal with their guy Moseley, who was the best kicker Washington ever had...which says alot. They always had kickers.

Dolphins went up 10-3 on a field goal too.

John Riggins would spend most of the time Washington had the ball...blowing by people.

Woodley meanwhile would run into problems following the Cefalo score.

Thiesmann marched the Skins downfield before the half and tied it with another touchdown pass to Garrett.

So it was 10-10 at the half.

But then as the second half started, Miami's Fulton Walker would run the ball back for a touchdown on a kickoff. 17-10.

Then Washington fucked it up, and Miami would have Thiesmann all the way down in his own endzone.

It looked like Miami would so go on to win the Superbowl. The Bees had stung the Hogs, and were about to put Thiesmann on his dick.

Now here's where it gets fun -- the Skins are at their own 2, Thiesmann calls hike, and throws a ball that is BATTED AWAY.

Bokamper sees this, and gets ready to let the ball drop his arms to put them up 24-10...

Thiesmann dives...

Gets his hand in there...

Bats it out of Bokamper's hands.

Bokamper picks up the ball and runs in anyway, but the officials have blown the whistle.


This would be the last time the Dolphins had anything on Washington in Superbowl XVII.

Washington ran downfield with Theisman and Riggins, Riggins breaks Harris's record by five yards.

166 yards.

27-17 the final, Washington took home their first Super Bowl trophy.

to be continued...


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