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SITTING OUT WITH SCOTTIE PIPPEN -- Weekdays at 1.8 seconds)

Updated on December 5, 2009

Hello, thanks for the applause, alright. Tonight on Sitting Out...questions from the audience.Yes you --

"Scottie why did you sit out of the game with 1.8 seconds left?"

"Because they were going to let Toni Kukoc have the ball, dribble off his feet, drive to the rim, get thrown down by Oakley, and watch Oakley completely get away with doing it, and still get 50 million dollars.Next."

"Scottie, who's the biggest buster you've ever played on the Bulls with? I mean...there's got to be so many you can pick from--"

"Will Purdue. Next."

"Scottie, I heard you're being issued a few paternity suits."

"I like to screw. Next."

"Scottie, why didn't Rudy Tomjonovich have any use for you in Houston?"

"Why? Oh...probably because he beat us all those times in the Finals."

"Scottie, why don't you ever hardly tip waiters in Chicago establishments? Don't you know they depend on that as salary?"

"Please! I had to leave Chicago before I got my salary. Next?"

"Why was there a gun in your glove compartment?"

"Uh, because the United Center's on the west side of Chicago?"

"Why did you call the fans 'racist'?

"Because they sit in front of their TVs all over Chicagoland and talk about my physical features like they're in a minstrel show. Next."

"Why did you make Alonzo Mourning look so dumb every time you played him?"

"Oh he does that to himself."

And now for some Pistons. This one's for the late Coach Daly. We love you brother.


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