ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The WWE Quarantine Comedy Poem

Updated on March 26, 2020
BadNewsSmitty profile image

Screenwriter. Sometimes I'll write something up on here when I'm feeling inspired. Check out all of my past WWE articles on my profile

This virus spreading across the world has really made me go crazy,

what could I possibly do to pass the time and make sure I don't get too lazy?

Should I teach myself how to cook like Renee Young? Boy, that would be hard,

the food would reek of suckiness so bad that she'd want to kick me in the nards.

Wondering how to entertain myself with music, I shouldn't have to think too long,

I'd just have to get in the Hardcore Country mindset & put on a Mickie James song.

It would put me in such a good mood, you could see it in the face I'd make,

at that point, there would be only ONE thing left to do....DANCE BREAK!

That would then spark a memory of when Truth and Carmella were a team,

crying would then ensue while sucking the air out of a bottle of whipped cream.

As soon as I'm done, I'd need something to make my face smile,

The only thing that would work is staring at pictures of Taynara for awhile...

I'd then have to get my body moving around, maybe cause a little mayhem,

by getting together all the pillows in my house and just start RKO'ing them.

I'd then study Paul Heyman promos on the Network until they hit my very soul,

which would then fire me up so much that I start rambling into my remote control.

I'd then go searching through my fridge and take out some applesauce,

go sit down on the couch, wishing Alexa came over with Larry-Steve & Nikki Cross.

Cooking attempt #2 would then happen as I'd try to make a Baron Corbin steak,

until Otis crashes through my wall, steals the meat, & kicks me in my one-eyed snake.

(I should probably not try to cook. I'll always end up getting hit in my male parts)

Speaking of getting kicked there, I'm sure Corey Graves does this every day too,

re-watching Stone Cold stun Byron Saxton after kicking him in his cockadoodledoo.

I'd then stand in front of the mirror and flex hard like I'm The Hulkster,

Then think about Dana Brooke and how I don't even have half the arms of HER.

I'd then suck down some adult beverages to make me feel wild and free,

attempting to become as hyped up as Mojo Rawley and Rob Gronkowski,

I'd then think I'm Goldberg and headbutt my front door, knocking myself out though,

leading to a dream where my name is Angel and I'm stared at by Charly Caruso.

I'd then wake up and think that it's a normal Tuesday night on WWE Backstage,

start cursing up a storm to the point where I need a swear jar, ya know, like Paige.

I'd challenge my girl Mia Yim to a video game and tell her that it's mandatory,

even when she's kicking my rear-end, I'd just keep yelling at her to Bask In My Glory!

This quarantining thing has got my life all twisted and made me such a slacker,

what I really need to do is stand up and walk around like I'm a Bushwhacker.

That would get my blood flowing again, that would make me not feel like a crock,

maybe then I should pretend I'm Lana and keep posting on that weird app TikTok?!

Perhaps I'll binge-watch Total Divas and enjoy Nattie, Nia, and each Bella,

then stand up and Brogue Kick my lamp after, pretending I'm that Sheamus fella.

With nothing else left to do inside my house as the TV is my only friend,

I'll just start singing to it, "I'm really glad that you're my friend and this is a friendship that'll never ever end!"

I really hope you enjoyed this ridiculous comedy poem, I hope it made you laugh,

there's nothing more I can say about these amazing WWE stars in this paragraph.

They're still going out there and entertaining the fans, not changing their persona,

I think I speak for every person out there when I say...Screw you, Corona.


I hope everyone out there stays healthy and safe. Much love, people.

...and enjoy WrestleMania!

© 2020 S Smitty


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)