Clothes Make The Man
"Costly thy habit as thy
purse can buy, But not express’d in fancy; rich not gaudy
For the apparel oft proclaims the man"
Polonius to Laertes HAMLET, Act I, Scene III
Dress For Success
I looked at myself in the mirror and after I stopped laughing I thought I might seek out some clothes that would "suit" my persona. Fashion is a very serious subject as we will all see soon enough.
"You never get a second chance to make a first impression" Will Rogers
Behavioral scientists say the "first impression" is very strong. The process of sizing you up is a subconscious and emotional function of the brain. A stranger can take 30 seconds or less to cultivate an opinion, and can be so strong that it could take many years to erase. We’ve all heard the expression "You can’t judge a book by its cover". However, quite often, the cover is the reason that we pick up one book over another.
An example of "your appearance being more important than what you say" is the first Kennedy-Nixon presidential debate. If you are unaware of who Nixon and Kennedy were, it shouldn't matter what you wear. You should go back to school.
Research shows that people notice the following about people:
Skin color, Sex, Age
Bearing-This can mean height. Taller people start with higher pay. Head movement and body language say a lot. Nodding can be seen as a negative but with a regard to acknowledging authority. If over done, smiling can be thought of as weakness. Know when to "suck up". Smile sparingly as if amused when the interviewer or employer is trying to be funny. When your superior tells a joke, just laugh your butt off as though it were indeed funny.
Appearance is 90%. If you are covered by clothing, and Lord we hope so, the clothing you choose will make a significant impact.
Direct Eye Contact- Don’t stare, but look others in the eye 40 - 60% of
the time, or else you might be thought as having something to hide or that you may not know of what you are speaking. If it should be a rival in the work place, you might raise your eyebrows or roll your eyes when they speak. Never do this if your employer is speaking- at least not if they can see you.
Speech- 55% of communication is unspoken. It will not be what
you say, but how you say it. The art of backstabbing will require the "arching of the eye-brows and rolling of the eyes".
Your appearance makes a difference in how you influence the world. Take a look at most morons that have held public office.
Dressing improperly could be construed as contempt for a situation or other people. Clothing is a way to show others that you have respect and consideration for the situation. You shouldn't show up in T-shirt and shorts to go to the opera.
We are judged thousands of times
everyday. How many times have you heard or used the phrase, "look at that jackass?" So it’s not a question of being judged.
It’s a question of whether we want to have influence on that judging or not.
Let's see if we are ready to see what we can do to present ourselves in the best package to project a professional image.
Do not wear short sleeve shirts with ties. Short sleeve shirts can be thought as lower utilitarian apparel. It can be fine as a uniform at McCrap fast food restaurants, but not if you want to project a professional image.
Do not wear your underwear on the outside of your pants.
Shoes are important. Your
shoes should be clean, shined, in good repair and right for the
occasion. Lace-up shoes go with suits. Avoid wearing the same shoes on consecutive days and put your shoes in shoetrees when you’re
not wearing them. If you don't have shoes- paint your feet a different color every day.
Wearing both belt and suspenders make you look insecure. One
or the other please. And if you opt for the suspenders, make certain they
are the kind that fasten inside your pants with buttons. And why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up (baddaboop).
Trousers should cover your socks, and socks should cover your shins even when you cross you legs. Pants are long enough if they have a slight break in the front. Pleats and cuffs are traditional and functional. Pleats let you sit down comfortably and cuffs can add weight to allow for proper drape.
Do not wear your pants below your butt unless you are a plumber.
Belts should match shoes in color and texture.
Socks should match your pants.
Ties should reach the belt line.
A properly knotted tie has
a “dimple” under the knot. Clips and tacks are out of style.
Suit and Sports jackets are symbols of authority. However the bottom buttons of men’s jackets are not designed to be buttoned, since King Edward VII gained weight, and started the fashion trend.
King Edward VII, “Bertie”, was the son of Victoria. King Ed lived between 1841 – 1910. He was the "grand poobah" (King) from 1901 to 1910. Ed was a bit chunky. How chunky was this monkey? He was so chunky that he could not get the bottom button fastened on his vest. His flunkies took it as a fashion statement and followed his lead and unbuttoned their vests. Even today most men’s suits, sports jackets or vests come with a bottom button and if you button the button, people will laugh and point at you.
One day Ed (the grand poobah) showed up without any clothes and everyone took their clothes off. This didn't last though as it had just snowed and things got very cold.
Suit and Sports jackets
should fit properly and show ½” of “linen” or shirtsleeve
at the jacket sleeve. Don't look like a macaroon and have too much sleeve hanging out. People will laugh and point.
Do not put pens and pocket protectors in shirt pockets. Pens go
in the inside pocket of the coat out of sight. Today, using pocket protectors is the equivalent of having a "kick me sign on your behind". Don't wear telephones on your belt. Having your cell phone visible will make people think that you will be answering it all day like people do. Think about a nice valise! If you do not know what a valise is then go ahead and put the pens and pocket protectors back into the shirt pocket. You won't get the job anyway.
Hair should be shoulder length for women. Hair should be over the ears for men. Longer will diminish perception of authority, but increase accessibility.
Wear your hair like more serial killers- see Ted Bundy. Remember- Ted was able to murder dozens of young women by "not looking like Jesus". Remember- even serial killers respect the situation and dress for the occasion. Most elite criminals know that most of us trust well manicured and well dressed people with great hair.
We live in a complex, but dumb, society where considerate people dress appropriately for places and occasions. Proper dressing is showing respect for your fellow idiots and their institutions. Proper clothing and the proper look can get you into many situations where you can take advantage of other morons.
The navy blue suit is often chosen for bankers, congressmen, and others who wish to rob the country blind.
Dress better for an interview than you would as an employee. Remember- putting forth a false image is important. Employers will notice that you know the fine art of "sucking up".
Men’s clothing is more traditional and less
fashion oriented. It may take several seasons for designers to even slightly change the width of a necktie. When the tie is changed, by all means -jump on it. years later you can break out your old ties for the "retro look".
The business suit has virtually not changed in 70 years! This is a progression that has resulted in attire that looks great on most men. Once you reach perfection, don’t mess with it! The business suit will allow you to commit criminal acts but you'll get more comfortable lodging when you're caught!
"Do the clothes suit you? Do the clothes suit the occasion? Do the clothes suit each other?" Richard Plourde
Want a better outcome in a court of law? Wear a dark suit. Judges such as Julian B. Ness of South Carolina would banish lawyers who wore "plaid suits".
Remember- if you want to make a mockery of our court system -dress for it.
Searching for the right look!
I checked out several sources for a "new look".
I just wasn't convinced by some of the fashions I was coming across.
Some of the clothes, especially the pants seem to have a lot of "wind drag". The new designs didn't seem very afro-dynamic!
The suit above caught my eye. As a matter of fact if you were hitch-hiking at night it would really come in handy.
“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months” -- Oscar Wilde
I just didn't seem to be finding "me" out there in "fashion world".
"Fashion passes, style remains." -- Coco Chanel (1883-1971), founder of Chanel
I briefly considered this "night suit" with matching luggage.
Can you believe this? This suit did not have enough buttons. There is no bottom button to leave unbuttoned! He obviously never heard of King
"Suit and Sports jackets should fit properly which includes showing ½” of “linen” or shirtsleeve at the jacket sleeve."
How is this person going to find adequate employment when his sleeves are way more than the "½” of “linen” or shirtsleeve at the jacket sleeve."
What bicycle shop, carpenter, or plumber is going to hire this guy?
This lad appears to "show contempt for other people or the situation" by the way he casually allows his shirt tail to loosely "hang out". I was sold but for the heavy metal around the neck. I just couldn't carry that around all day. Bending down while working on a bicycle could wind up with a chain in the chain. If I were doing some roofing on top of some house it could be the leverage to cause a fall. If I had to run in some of these outfits I'm not sure how far I'd get. But really it was his casual "contempt" that ruined the outfit for me.
The Western Look!
The chaps would be warm for these winter days but I thought I'd be dressing up too much here.
I bet these guys do a lot of roping, herding, cow punching, and what-not.
Nope, I was just not sold completely on the western look.
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society" -- Mark Twain
I have this outfit, but really, who needs underwear with it? For heaven sakes it's underwear!
Finally I thought I'd try to find clothing that my heroes wore!
It's kind of simple but it goes with everything!
It comes in any color as long as it's white. You can make it yourself.
Perhaps to dress more like these fellows than any of the above is what my soul is asking for.
These aren't my clothes.
These clothes don't fit- but I'd rather wear these clothes than all the clothes that presidents have worn.
I want the simplicity.
I want the truth.
Perhaps, someday, I can hang out with these guys.
Regardless of what can be and will be - I'll be the best I can be.
For now, you can see me in this garb!
Giufa, From Italy
As Giufà was half a simpleton no one showed him any kindness, such as to invite him to his house or give him anything to eat. Once Giufà went to a farmhouse for something, and the farmers, when they saw him looking so ragged and poor, came near setting the dogs on him, and made him leave in a hurry.
When his mother heard it she procured for him a fine coat, a pair of breeches, and a velvet vest.
Giufà dressed up like an overseer, went to the same farmhouse, and then you should see what great ceremonies they made! They invited him to dine with them. While at the table all were very attentive to him. Giufà, on the one hand, filled his stomach, and on the other, put into the pockets, coat, and hat whatever was left over, saying: "Eat, my clothes, for you were invited!"
Dear God Its Mickey
- Dear God Its Micky
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- Dear God It's Micky Again
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- The Affluent Blues
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Hodja, From Turkey
One day Nasreddin Hodja went to a bridal festival. The master of the feast observing his old and wretched garments, paid him no consideration whatever. The Hodja saw that he had no chance of notice; so going out he hurried to his house, and putting on a splendid pelisse, returned to the place of festival.
No sooner did he enter the door than the master advanced to meet him, and saying, "Welcome, Nasreddin Hodja," with all imaginable honor and reverence placed him at the head of the table, and said, "Please to eat, Lord Hodja."
Forthwith the Hodja taking hold of one of the furs of his pelisse, said, "Welcome, my pelisse, please to eat, my lord."
The master, looking at the Hodja with great surprise, said, "What are you about?"
Whereupon the Hodja replied, "It is quite evident that all the honor paid is paid to my pelisse, so let it have some food too."