Make Your Own Herbal Cosmetics - Large Curd Cellulite Cream

He grins his farm boy best Cheshire cat grin, pale blue eyes dancing that crazy jig I know only too well. Here it comes, as he shakes his head and says:

"Tsk, tsk -- what a shame -- all those large cheese curds. Woman, you've let yourself go. You weren't like that when I plucked you off the train."

OK. The first time he said it, a lesser woman would have thrown the frying pan she was using to cook up his catfish, right at him. Clearly he knew that at some level, because he did that quick side-step behind the nearest door -- a move that I also know only too well. That day, I figured I didn't get a couple of college degrees to let the fact that we were living in West Virginia, to turn me into another stereotypical farmhouse wife -- so I maturely resisted temptation -- barely.

Twenty years later, the large cheese curds joke still rears it's ugly little head from time-to-time. I'm still being mature about it. Besides, I have resorted to my on little counter complaints about someone's big fat Buddha belly. Plus, there's always a reminder to him that he's always liked cottage cheese, no matter what size the curd is. Shuts him up every time, but neither of us are truly laughing.

It was with me when I weighted 110 pounds, it was with me when I weighted 185 pounds, and at every weight in between. The great debate about "orange peel" thighs and butts are real to those who have them, and don't exist to some doctors and scientists -- and it is one cellulite debate I don't sit on the fence about.

How I Finally Stopped The Large Curd Cheese Jokes

From the garden:Ivy decoction (see Make Your Own Herbal Cosmetics - History and Basics) Ivy also relieves sunburn and helps disperse fluids and toxins; clary sage

Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons beeswax
• 1 teaspoon shea butter
• 3 teaspoons almond oil
• 1 teaspoon avocado oil
• 5 tablespoons ivy decoction (double strength)
• 10 drops of essential oil of rosemary
• 10 drops of essential oil of oregano
• 8 drops of essential oil of clary sage

Instructions:

• Place beeswax and shea butter over low-medium heat in double boiler
• Warm the oils on very low heat separately
• Mix waxes and almond and avocado oils together
• Fold in the ivy decoction
• Cool to room temperature
• Immediately add the essential oils of rosemary, oregano, and clary sage
• Spoon into sterile jars
• Label

Note: Massage daily and develop a sense of humor about certain things that while you can improve, probably won't completely go away.

Cautions: DO NOT use clary sage if you are pregnant or nursing. Additionally, 1% of the world's population is also allergic to avocados, be sure to test if you are not certain.

I'm sure that the massaging of the cream helps with circulation and also helps to break down the fat of the cellulite.

I have to admit that I use essential oil of clary sage as a special ingredient to my large curd recipe -- it's sort of a subtle detractor to the curds. Essential oil of clary sage is known to have certain attributes:

• It's a sedative
• It's a deodorant
• It's an aphrodisiac

Seemed like a good ingredient to add to the basic well-known recipe. Maybe my large curds have become small curd cottage cheese thighs, but the clary sage clearly has either me or my resident jester not caring quite so much, or commenting quite so much.

Beyond that, if you are still bothered with cellulite, it is a known fact that you need to eat a diet high in fiber, such as fruits and veggies. Drink a lot of antioxidants if you can, my favorites are certain teas. cranberry juice, and acai berry/mangosteen juices. They say it's also good to avoid alcohol and maintain a low sodium diet.

I also noticed that giving up all caffeine made a difference in cellulite too.

Then, there's that exercise part of the anti-cellulite formula -- I find that swimming, daily, really really helps.