ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Make Your Own Herbal Cosmetics - Large Curd Cellulite Cream

Updated on September 25, 2011

He grins his farm boy best Cheshire cat grin, pale blue eyes dancing that crazy jig I know only too well. Here it comes, as he shakes his head and says:

"Tsk, tsk -- what a shame -- all those large cheese curds. Woman, you've let yourself go. You weren't like that when I plucked you off the train."

OK. The first time he said it, a lesser woman would have thrown the frying pan she was using to cook up his catfish, right at him. Clearly he knew that at some level, because he did that quick side-step behind the nearest door -- a move that I also know only too well. That day, I figured I didn't get a couple of college degrees to let the fact that we were living in West Virginia, to turn me into another stereotypical farmhouse wife -- so I maturely resisted temptation -- barely.

Twenty years later, the large cheese curds joke still rears it's ugly little head from time-to-time. I'm still being mature about it. Besides, I have resorted to my on little counter complaints about someone's big fat Buddha belly. Plus, there's always a reminder to him that he's always liked cottage cheese, no matter what size the curd is. Shuts him up every time, but neither of us are truly laughing.

It was with me when I weighted 110 pounds, it was with me when I weighted 185 pounds, and at every weight in between. The great debate about "orange peel" thighs and butts are real to those who have them, and don't exist to some doctors and scientists -- and it is one cellulite debate I don't sit on the fence about.

How I Finally Stopped The Large Curd Cheese Jokes

Large Curd Cellulite Cream

From the garden:Ivy decoction (see Make Your Own Herbal Cosmetics - History and Basics) Ivy also relieves sunburn and helps disperse fluids and toxins; clary sage


  • 2 tablespoons beeswax
  • 1 teaspoon shea butter
  • 3 teaspoons almond oil
  • 1 teaspoon avocado oil
  • 5 tablespoons ivy decoction (double strength)
  • 10 drops of essential oil of rosemary
  • 10 drops of essential oil of oregano
  • 8 drops of essential oil of clary sage


  • Place beeswax and shea butter over low-medium heat in double boiler
  • Warm the oils on very low heat separately
  • Mix waxes and almond and avocado oils together
  • Fold in the ivy decoction
  • Cool to room temperature
  • Immediately add the essential oils of rosemary, oregano, and clary sage
  • Spoon into sterile jars
  • Label

Note: Massage daily and develop a sense of humor about certain things that while you can improve, probably won't completely go away.

Cautions: DO NOT use clary sage if you are pregnant or nursing. Additionally, 1% of the world's population is also allergic to avocados, be sure to test if you are not certain.

Beyond the Cellulite Cream

I'm sure that the massaging of the cream helps with circulation and also helps to break down the fat of the cellulite.

I have to admit that I use essential oil of clary sage as a special ingredient to my large curd recipe -- it's sort of a subtle detractor to the curds. Essential oil of clary sage is known to have certain attributes:

  • It's a sedative
  • It's a deodorant
  • It's an aphrodisiac

Seemed like a good ingredient to add to the basic well-known recipe. Maybe my large curds have become small curd cottage cheese thighs, but the clary sage clearly has either me or my resident jester not caring quite so much, or commenting quite so much.

Beyond that, if you are still bothered with cellulite, it is a known fact that you need to eat a diet high in fiber, such as fruits and veggies. Drink a lot of antioxidants if you can, my favorites are certain teas. cranberry juice, and acai berry/mangosteen juices. They say it's also good to avoid alcohol and maintain a low sodium diet.

I also noticed that giving up all caffeine made a difference in cellulite too.

Then, there's that exercise part of the anti-cellulite formula -- I find that swimming, daily, really really helps.

Comparison of Three Different Cellulite Treatments

Cellulite Exercises

What Causes Cellulite?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • nomorecellulite profile image

      nomorecellulite 6 years ago from Carmel, Indiana

      Your concoction sounds amazing. I'll have to try it.

    • profile image

      masy sam 6 years ago

      Could someone please tell me what kind of ivy that you use in the large curd cellulite cream recipe.

      Thank you.

    • Jerilee Wei profile image

      Jerilee Wei 7 years ago from United States

      Thanks frenkie1363! Certainly, I love backlinks as they seem to me to be the perfect compliment.

    • Jerilee Wei profile image

      Jerilee Wei 8 years ago from United States

      Thanks Info Help! It's a process as well as a recipe.

    • Info Help profile image

      Info Help 8 years ago from Chicago

      Thanks for the great hub! I am going to try this recipe to see what a difference it will make :) Thank you :)

    • Jerilee Wei profile image

      Jerilee Wei 8 years ago from United States

      Thanks RGraf! I don't know how much it helps, but it seems to in connection with everything else, like diet, exercise, etc.

    • RGraf profile image

      Rebecca Graf 8 years ago from Wisconsin

      Great info. I honestly did not believe that a cream could help. Thought it was all diet and exercise. I question all commercials because they can easily be cons.

    • Jerilee Wei profile image

      Jerilee Wei 8 years ago from United States

      Thanks katyzzz! I know the feeling.

    • katyzzz profile image

      katyzzz 8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Great idea, but I'm lazy!

    • Jerilee Wei profile image

      Jerilee Wei 8 years ago from United States

      Thanks Pollyannalana! That's a lot of things to try!

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 8 years ago from US

      I will try anything herbal, sounds like a good try, thx.

    • Jerilee Wei profile image

      Jerilee Wei 8 years ago from United States

      Thanks Hello, hello! It's a difficult problem for most women.

      Thanks Frieda Babbley! For me, if I can't entertain you it's just dry facts. I have lot to go on this series but may break it up with another topic for a few days so I don't get burnt out or bore people.

    • Frieda Babbley profile image

      Frieda Babbley 8 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

      This is far out. What a great hub. I enjoyed breakfast while reading and watching. The perfect entertainment. This is a great series Jerilee. Always a pleasurable read. Thanks.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 8 years ago from London, UK

      I certainly will try this one and thank you for your tip, Jerilee.