A letter to my friend Microsoft about Office 2013

Hello Microsoft.

My name is MPU (Microsoft Products User) and I know you know me because over many years I have been faithful and trustworthy to stick with you through thick and thin. I have been with you ever since you started developing BASIC Interpreters and Altair 8800 to the time you were bitten by the personal computer bug and even when you were hit by the chronic Microsoft Windows fever.

I know you know me because I have been a good and reliable friend. I’m always the first one to endorse your friendship with others. When you asked me to approve your union with Powerset and DATAllegro in the year 2008, I did. When you said you wanted to have 3DV Systems in 2009, I gladly agreed and you knew I would say yes when you decided to acquire Skype last year.

I have been a true friend and you know that, that is why you saw me smiling this year when you acquired Yammer and Perceptive Pixel. I know you have acquired many other friends in your successful career but I have something I want to say.

All my life I have been your true user and customer in the office and at home. I have supported your monopolistic business practices and anti-competitive strategies. Most of your contenders like Linux and Unix tried to have me but I said no. I said no because I knew our friendship has a long history and has been tried through many battles.

When you informed me that you forgot to do a little house keeping in 1999 and that we might get bitten by Y2K bug, I said no problem. That is why I gladly accepted Window 2000 and XP and moved on, even when we got attacked by Code red and Nimda viruses I stuck with you. Then you told me there were several security fixes to be done on Windows XP and that we needed to shift to Vista of which we did.

Lately, I have been thinking we are comfortable in Windows 7 when you announced we still need to shift yet again to Windows 8. I had not even taken a complete tour of Windows 7 or even done a proper orientation. My business and some of my friends businesses are still in Windows XP and Vista. They were waiting until that time when I shall raise the green flag to affirm migration to Windows 7.

This week you caught me by surprise when you boldly announced that we need to change our office document manager from Office 2010 to Office 2013. Mind you I had no chance to even have a feel of Office 2007 because you convinced me that Office 2010 had a better ribbon than Office 2007.

Every time you announced a major movement I would take it without grudge because I knew I only needed to do a minor upgrade and I will be back in business. This week you said we’ll have to forget all about Window XP and Vista if we needed to have a feel of the new Office 2013.

Now, it has come to a point where I feel depleted, why can’t I incorporate my hard earned Window XP or Vista to have a feel of Office 2013? Why should I discard my Window XP and vista and upgrade to Windows 7 or 8 to have a feel of Office 2013 suite? I heard you also mentioned something about upgrading hardware.

You said i need a PC with at least 1GHz processor, 1GB of RAM for the 32-bit version or 2GB for the 64-bit version and at least 3GB of free hard disk space, and a graphics card that can provide at least 1,024 x 576 resolution. That is not a big problem for now but why should I change the operating system to enjoy the new goodies? I thought we were buddies and that you always considered my welfare.

I know Microsoft Windows and Office are your most cherished babies and they keep you moving but why should you frog match me to enjoy our new friendship? Think about me, think about many of my friends who are in business and the headache they are in now trying to figure out where they will draw finances to be able to migrate and be able to enjoy the new goodies.

Many would like to but they would probably prefer staying at their current position because they do not have strength for now. I see Linux, Unix and others beckoning them to crossover. Should I just drop our relationship and join them? I will eagerly wait for your reply.

Yours faithfully,

MPU (Microsoft Products User)