WWW Smackdown: The Facebook Fight

It usually starts off as an innocent comment. A friend posts a photo of herself in a bikini. Another friend comments, "You look so skinny in this photo!" This seems like a compliment. Who could take this the wrong way?

The friend who posted the photo then responds with, "Thanks! Are you saying I was chubby before? LOL." For some reason, LOL is often included in these statements. It is as if "LOL" cancels out any of the negativity that was just implied. Obviously, these two friends have some unresolved issue and the Facebook fight is about to go down with lines like:

"No, I was just saying you look skinny. But you usually don't in photos if that is what you mean." - Friend

"What? Look who is talking." - Photo poster who was once chubby.

"At least I don't have to steal everyone else's man to feel good about myself!" - Friend... soon to be enemy.

"You have some nerve sitting behind that computer. That is all you do. Must be why you are fat!" - Photo poster who is now very angry .

Facebook is a great concept. It allows people to socialize in a setting that is supposedly safe. One can reconnect with friends they haven't seen in years. Also, people can connect with others on Facebook that they would never ordinarily get to meet. I've had friends that have never met each other in real life have discussions (on my page) when they have a similar interest. In this respect Facebook is wonderful.

However, there is an ugly side to Facebook. Users often feel the need to friend people out of peer pressure or to be polite. So this means you may have co-workers on your friend list, relatives you do not get along with, and people you hated in high school all merging together in just one spot - your profile! This is a recipe for disaster.

You might just want to post one simple status update on your page only to discover that two of your friends (that hate each other) are battling it out on your profile page. Perhaps you made a mistake and posted a cute picture of you and one friend on your page. Well, your other friend took this moment to trash talk the other friend. Now the most vile and disgusting insults are being posted on your page back and forth between the two friends. Why can't adults just act like adults?

A Facebook fight can begin over the most simple situation. Often these battles begin when someone states something in a status update and someone else disagrees. Also, a person may post a seemingly innocent comment or photo on your page. This somehow enrages another friend and those two start to argue about it. A person may also simply try to instigate a fight. Instead of calling or meeting up with a friend or family member in person to air out some differences, what not instead post it on their Facebook page so the entire world can witness the fight?

Every now and then, you will witness an Epic Facebook Battle. This is when just one status update or comment triggers a rage-filled chain reaction. It can start on one person's page, but eventually a number of Facebook users join in on the fight. Comments start getting posting on a number of profile pages. Obscenities and capitalized words are all over the place! It takes a while for the battle to end. You know what usually ends it? People need to meet up in person or calmly discuss the issue over the phone. Being rational works best in these situations.

Yes, there are ways to try to prevent a Facebook fight from breaking out. There will be times when it can't be helped or the whole fight is out of your hands, but there are times when you can completely prevent a fight. Some helpful suggestions are:

• Don't talk trash about people in a status update.
• Don't post a melodramatic status update that refers to a certain someone or event, but you pretend it does not.
• Simply do not post something spiteful on a person's profile page.
• Try to keep your hardcore partying photos to a minimum. This is especially true if your page is public or you're friends with your boss.
• Delete the people on your friend list you do not like.
• Delete the people on your friend list that try to start trouble.
• Don't flirt with other people's significant others on Facebook. For that matter, don't do it in person either.
• Do not friend someone just to be polite if you don't want to do so.
• Always be honest. Don't tell your friend you can't hang out Friday night because you are sick if you are really going to your other friend's party. 9 times out of 10, you will be tagged in a photo at that party.
• Don't post a major announcement such as a death, pregnancy, or divorce without first making sure everyone close to you knows. No one likes to get devastating news via Facebook.
• Try not to be too sensitive. Sometimes a person posts something that comes off the wrong way. Don't just assume it is an insult.
• Don't fight over relationship status updates. Just because you know your friend is totally lying about being in a relationship just to get back at her ex-boyfriend does not mean you need to call her out on it.
• Keep the drama to a minimum. Even if someone is trying to provoke you, don't bother with them. You are better than that. Really.
• Everyone just needs to grow up a little. Keep in mind you are not 5 years old and there are better ways to communicate with your friends and loved ones. If you have a problem, why not get together and talk it out? Stop making Facebook a hostile place for the rest of us.