Planning to Stay in a Hostel? Use These Handy Tips!
Though times have changed today and children are smarter and bolder, today than before still some apprehension exists in some quarters on a child moving out of the comfort and protection of his home.
The following sentences are heard quite a bit the moment the child decides to move out in search of better opportunities for study or work.
Don't worry, everything will be alright!
Take care of yourself!
Keep us informed of your well being regularly!
If you need us, call us and we will be there
And so on!!!
These and other like concerns and feelings are expressed by parents who happen to leave their child in the hostel for the first time.
On the one hand, we are aware that the child needs to stay away from home, for a better future, and on the other hand, parents are worried how the child will cope up with this change in his/her life.
In such a case, wouldn't it be right to develop the right atmosphere so that not only it will be easier for the parents to send the child to a hostel but it will also make the child confident of handling this new change in his/her life?
For this, both the child and the parents need to be ready!
The Future Is Important
The future of the child is the moot point here not the hostel! This has to be understood well and decisions taken based on these criteria. Make the child aware of the importance of this. Make him understand that it is necessary for him to leave the cosy and protective environment of his home for a better future.
Parents are there to protect the child but after a certain age, the child has to face these life challenges all by himself. A hostel is an important step in this journey where he may have facilities akin to his home but not the liberty to do what s/he wishes to do.
Life Is An Adjustment
The parents have to first understand this themselves and then also make the child realise that in life there are many adjustments and sacrifices one has to make. Initially, there may be some difficulties in adjusting to a new routine but in a short time, one adjusts to the new schedule easily.
Being Independent Is A Must
Before sending the child to the hostel make him/her understand the importance of being independent and slowly guide him/her to make efforts in this direction.
Ensure that the child is made to do all his work himself from the time he gets up to the time he goes to bed.
Make the child understand the importance of the economy and to economise. Teach the child how purchases are made from the market by taking him/her along.
Interacting With Others
The child must know and understand that hostel is not a problem place for him but a facility provided to him to study well and forge ahead in life.
This is a stage in life that will teach him many life values. It is here that the child will learn how to deal with others, how friendships are made and maintained, the give and take, how to stay safe from cheaters and how to get out of unpleasant situations etc.
Decision Making Lessons
Try to develop decision-making attributes in your child. Ensure to inspire the child to make decisions for himself/herself. These decisions are apart from his decisions regarding his studies. Make the child aware that in doubt s/he is free to ask for advice but the ultimate decision will rest on him/her.
If the child makes a mistake do not scold or doubt his/her capability. Make the child realise that decisions are to be taken with an objective mind and without an emotional attachment and that only such decisions are successful.
Some Final Words
In making the child understand and be aware of his responsibilities, make him also realize that you as parents are always there for him/her. This knowledge will give the child the added strength to cope with this change.
Parents too have to have faith in their child's ability and even if the child has no experience of something he can learn it from his experiences.
Some Pointers For Parents
You must understand that your responsibilities do not cease once the child is in the hostel.
This also does not mean that you worry about every little thing pertaining to your child.
Some important points to consider are :
1. Do not ask your child to come home frequently as this may cause him to find excuses to come back home and thus find it difficult to adjust to hostel life.
2. Do not call every now and then or even daily. A couple of times a week should be fine.
3. Do not listen to the child's complaints of the hostel food not being to his liking or the room not being of his choice. Once a hostel has been selected trust the facilities provided by them. Make the child understand that home-like facilities are only available at home and nowhere else. The child has to adjust.
4. Ensure that you keep on giving the child lessons on dealing with people. Make him understand that there are good and the not so good people in this world. They need to deal with both types and understand to differentiate between these types.
5.Make the child understand that he is away from his near and dear ones so that he can get to study well. This is a sort of sacrifice that he needs to do. Let not his efforts go to waste. Make him understand that he needs to ignore small difficulties and ensure that s/he studies well for a better future.
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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2016 Rajan Singh Jolly