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Funny English signs

  1. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    What funny signs and notices have you come across on your travels?
    I'll start . . .

    In a hotel . . . "We close this door for a wind blow hard. (Keep warm inside). Please come into the other door"

    On sunscreen lotion . .  "Ultra Violent Skin Block"

  2. Flightkeeper profile image73
    Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago

    In front of a lake:

    Danger

    WEEDS

  3. profile image0
    Justine76posted 7 years ago

    local store
    “cold beer
    guns
    wedding dresses"

    1. Flightkeeper profile image73
      Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      shotgun wedding anyone big_smile

  4. profile image0
    Justine76posted 7 years ago

    on a chainsaw
    “do not stop moving parts with genetalia”
    WTF???

    1. Flightkeeper profile image73
      Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I think that sign is only for men lol
      Ouch!

      1. profile image0
        Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        lol i know, girls know better...

  5. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    In a hotel:
    Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

    1. wyanjen profile image84
      wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol lol
      That's beautiful!

  6. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    In a Hotel in Acapulco:
    THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

    1. Flightkeeper profile image73
      Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Sanny, you have to tell us which hotel in Acapulco so we know not to stay there!

      1. sannyasinman profile image60
        sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Next stop Japan . ..
        Hotel bedroom, Japan:
        YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

        1. Flightkeeper profile image73
          Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          lol Why am I not surprised...
          But we still want to prevent Montezuma's Revenge in Acapulco.

  7. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    In a Restaurant in Nairobi:
    CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

  8. wyanjen profile image84
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    Sanny, please do take a camera with you, strictly for documenting the signage.
    smile

  9. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    Japan has to be the best. Here's another  . . . .
    In a car rental brochure in Tokyo:
    WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

    1. Flightkeeper profile image73
      Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Sanny, you and a lot of other men want to be tootled with vigour in Japan!

      1. sannyasinman profile image60
        sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Yes, we're quite partial to a good tootle smile

    2. wyanjen profile image84
      wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol lol
      I suppose we do honk politely, before wailing on the horn...

      1. sannyasinman profile image60
        sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Ah, but can you tootle melodiously? smile

        1. wyanjen profile image84
          wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Surely I can tootle melodiously, when I am inspired...

          But a proper lady must keep her tootling private, for sake of politeness.
          At the least, not to share in mixed company smile

          1. profile image0
            Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

            oh, ha. im really not a lady after all

            1. wyanjen profile image84
              wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              nah, me either. tongue
              I was pretending to be a Victorian lady just then.

              Speaking of, do you know why they wore giant hoop skirts? Maybe for a little bit of a tootle buffer...

              1. profile image0
                Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

                lol so when they sat down and skirts went up, they could pretend it wasnt thier fault.

  10. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    In a hotel in Moscow:
    IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT

  11. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    Japan again . . .

    In a Tokyo shop:
    Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

  12. ediggity profile image60
    ediggityposted 7 years ago

    In Sicily I a came across a sign with a picture of a male stick figure grabbing a female stick figures butt while bent over at a drinking fountain.  It had a big red circle around it with a line through it like a no-smoking sign.

    From then on I have always kept my hands to myself at drinking fountains.

    1. Flightkeeper profile image73
      Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      That must have been some drinking fountain.

      1. profile image0
        Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        dammit i want to go to scicily
        although, my husbands grandfather is from there,,.. hmmmm things are starting to make sense,,,,

      2. ediggity profile image60
        ediggityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Actually, it was pretty gross.  Water just continuously feeds into a raised basin, and you bend over and slurp it out.

        1. Flightkeeper profile image73
          Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Eeew, can you say cooties?

        2. profile image0
          Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          think about it
          continuosly fed is way cleaner.
          some brat with a cold sneezes on the fountain, and it just sits there ...,,

          1. Flightkeeper profile image73
            Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Definitely it's better than it just sitting there.

    2. wyanjen profile image84
      wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol lol
      No pic?
      This is a classic.

      1. ediggity profile image60
        ediggityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I actually do.  This is one of them.  This one had the circle thing in the top.

        http://lh3.ggpht.com/_6nzMiKFAP3g/SwS5wbS9pbI/AAAAAAAAAC0/TBn5Z_Z_ooI/s128/sc001ad208.jpg

        1. wyanjen profile image84
          wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          HA HA
          Thanks! I love that the drinking fountain NEEDS this sign in the first place.

          There was a giant stick figure drawing on the side of a moving van I rented once. One figure had wrapped the other's head in duct tape... I'm trying to find a pic of it. It was hilarious. I had a great time driving that van around lol

  13. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    In the window of an Oregon store:
    Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?

  14. torimari profile image68
    torimariposted 7 years ago

    I don't know about English signs, but Engrish.com is a classic for this stuff. English signs by Asian countries...

  15. Flightkeeper profile image73
    Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago

    You know it's not so obvious on that sign if it's a woman that's having her butt felt up. wink

    1. ediggity profile image60
      ediggityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I guess I just think one dimensionally, but I can tell by the look on her face.

      1. Flightkeeper profile image73
        Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        big_smile Nice save

  16. KCC Big Country profile image86
    KCC Big Countryposted 7 years ago

    When I was in England in 2006 we stayed a brand new hotel that had just opened.  When we got up to our room there was a nice printed card on the desk next to the TV that said "Coming Soon....your phone".    The room had no phone yet.

    I have a hub called "Pictures of English Oddities" for more.

  17. fishtiger58 profile image79
    fishtiger58posted 7 years ago

    On a street where I used to work   " No Stopping No Standing No Kidding"

  18. wyanjen profile image84
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    HAH!
    Found it:
    Packing tape, not duct tape (sry) smile
    Nice typo, too...

    http://i665.photobucket.com/albums/vv19/wyanjen/budgettruck-1.jpg

    1. ediggity profile image60
      ediggityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      THAT IS AWESOME!

      1. wyanjen profile image84
        wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Love it, right? lol
        It is a Budget Rental truck. I wonder what Moving Tips #1 through #47 are.

        1. ediggity profile image60
          ediggityposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Moving tip  number 46

          DON'T BITE YOUR FRIENDS.

  19. Mac Mission profile image61
    Mac Missionposted 7 years ago

    Punishment given to student" guys you go and stand up on the black board".

  20. sannyasinman profile image60
    sannyasinmanposted 7 years ago

    In a Copenhagen airline ticket office
      "We take your bags and send them in all directions."

  21. Jeffrey Neal profile image79
    Jeffrey Nealposted 7 years ago

    http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/uu322/RobotNine/Trailer%20Trash%20Dolls/Store%20Signs/ChineseBadGrammerFunnySignBuildingA.jpg

  22. Jeffrey Neal profile image79
    Jeffrey Nealposted 7 years ago

    http://i660.photobucket.com/albums/uu322/RobotNine/Trailer%20Trash%20Dolls/Store%20Signs/NastyBuffetRestaurantEatThereFoodFu.jpg

    1. wyanjen profile image84
      wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      OK, I just finally saw the un-lit "DY" here.

  23. wyanjen profile image84
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    Very practical moving advice.
    smile

    This is from the take-out menu I grabbed when I picked up my dinner from Lucky Dragon this evening:

    HEALTH DISH
    For Whom on Dish.
    No Sugar, No Salt, No Cholesterol.

    hmmm. Is it a typo, or just a bad translation? I can't quite get what it is supposed to mean.

  24. ediggity profile image60
    ediggityposted 7 years ago

    Silly jen, that menu is for Whom on Dish.  I think he's Jin lee Pak's friend.

  25. wyanjen profile image84
    wyanjenposted 7 years ago

    aha
    I see now...

    When I call my next order in, I will say, "I am Whom on Dish. I will be there in 15 minutes."

    We'll see who is confused this time...
    mwah ha ha ha

    Lucky Dragon makes a seriously good chicken & broccoli thing smile

    1. ediggity profile image60
      ediggityposted 7 years ago in reply to this
      1. wyanjen profile image84
        wyanjenposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        lol lol
        nice.
        Sometimes, hanging up is the best option.

  26. Rik Ravado profile image93
    Rik Ravadoposted 7 years ago

    http://hubpages.com/u/2143985_f520.jpg

    This took my fancy whilst on business near Capetown - The South Africans call a dog mess a poo!

 
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