IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

1. 60

   Eric Graudinsposted 15 years ago

   Received this from a friend who is a serial emailer.
   Author unknown.
   =============================
   
   IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN
   
   Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
   Do you suffer from shyness?
   Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
   
   
   If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
   pharmacist about White Wine.
   
   White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
   about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of
   your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to
   do just about anything.
   You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a
   regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you
   from living the life you want to live.
   Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
   discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
   living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women
   who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women
   who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
   
   Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
   erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
   money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
   headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play
   all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
   
   WARNING:
   The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when
   you are not.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an
   idiot.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over
   and over again that you love them.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
   really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically
   converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   WARNING:
   The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are
   tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   
   NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!

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2. 79

   Shadesbreathposted 15 years ago

   Eric, you know I love you man, but... back away from the Internet.  Just, you know, step back and, I don't know, throw a frisbee at your dog or something.  Just for a day or two.

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