Miracle cure!

1. 85

   Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years ago

   I wanted to share this with all of you, my extended family, as it's soooo important!
   
   NEW - Miracle Cure!
   
   · Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
   · Do you suffer from shyness?
   · Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
   
   If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.
   
   White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
   
   You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.
   
   However, White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine.
   
   However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
   
   Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
   
   WARNING:
   
   The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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   The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
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   The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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   The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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   The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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   The consumption of White Wine may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   The consumption of White Wine may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
   
   NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!

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      daflaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, that would be why I stay home when I drink.  LOL

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2. 63

   Mishaposted 15 years ago

   Yeah,
   That's why I prefer the red wine

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3. 69

   Gaget Girlposted 15 years ago

   Very funny Lol you can see why they don't put the side effects on the bottle
   

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4. 67

   Lidianposted 15 years ago

   LOL! I can't drink white wine anymore (food sensitivities) but this does ring a bell...

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5. 75

   Lissieposted 15 years ago

   I am confused -  ithought red wine was better for your because of the flavoids or somesuch - does this mean I will have to drink both red and white wine now?

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      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      ... if you can't beat them you gotta join them... my motto. If not one then the other Lissie. This is a fun solution, don't you think.

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6. 82

   dineaneposted 15 years ago

   Now see, I always thought it was TEQUILA that had all those wonderful health benefits! LOL!

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      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I'll need to test the tequila... I'll let you know the results Dineane

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7. 91

   Rochelle Frankposted 15 years ago

   very cute, Zsuzsy Bee-- Why didn't you make this a hub?

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   1. 85

      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Rochelle I'd like to take ownership for this, but it was my daughter who e-mailed it to me it was she and her friend who composed this fine document... and I got their permission to share it here with all of you.

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8. 82

   dineaneposted 15 years ago

   hmm.... I can't swear to it but I'm sure I've seen something very similar in my inbox, only with the tequila reference :-)
   
   I quickly responded to another post earlier and said the same thing--why didn't you make this a hub? Something made me google part of it, and I found lots of hits. I was glad I could delete my earlier post before giving undo kudos :-)
   
   no offense ZBee....I'm really feeling kind of freaked at having to search everything on hubpages before I know if it is original!
   
   Is Vicki your daugher? http://www.bebo.com/Blog.jsp?MemberId=77840852
   
   or Wine Burps? http://www.vinesugar.com/blog_entry.php?id=305
   
   or Beth in New York City? http://bethinnyc.blogspot.com/2007/09/b … -ever.html
   
   My apoligies if your daughter and her friend really are the original authors of this very funny (and in my case accurate, as I implied, if you change the beverage of choice to tequila) post

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