Miracle cure!

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (12 posts)
  1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image88
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 10 years ago

    I wanted to share this with all of you, my extended family, as it's soooo important!

    NEW - Miracle Cure!

    · Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
    · Do you suffer from shyness?
    · Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

    White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

    You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

    However, White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine.

    However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

    Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

    WARNING:

    The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~
    The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The consumption of White Wine may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The consumption of White Wine may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.

    NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!

    1. profile image0
      daflaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, that would be why I stay home when I drink.  LOL

  2. Misha profile image70
    Mishaposted 10 years ago

    Yeah,
    That's why I prefer the red wine big_smile

  3. Gaget Girl profile image79
    Gaget Girlposted 10 years ago

    Very funny Lol you can see why they don't put the side effects on the bottle
    smile

  4. Lidian profile image72
    Lidianposted 10 years ago

    LOL! I can't drink white wine anymore (food sensitivities) but this does ring a bell...

  5. Lissie profile image78
    Lissieposted 10 years ago

    I am confused -  ithought red wine was better for your because of the flavoids or somesuch - does this mean I will have to drink both red and white wine now?

    1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image88
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      ... if you can't beat them you gotta join them... my motto. If not one then the other Lissie. This is a fun solution, don't you think.

  6. dineane profile image84
    dineaneposted 10 years ago

    Now see, I always thought it was TEQUILA that had all those wonderful health benefits! LOL!

    1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image88
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I'll need to test the tequila... I'll let you know the results Dineane

  7. Rochelle Frank profile image95
    Rochelle Frankposted 10 years ago

    very cute, Zsuzsy Bee-- Why didn't you make this a hub?

    1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image88
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Rochelle I'd like to take ownership for this, but it was my daughter who e-mailed it to me it was she and her friend who composed this fine document... and I got their permission to share it here with all of you.

  8. dineane profile image84
    dineaneposted 10 years ago

    hmm.... I can't swear to it but I'm sure I've seen something very similar in my inbox, only with the tequila reference :-)

    I quickly responded to another post earlier and said the same thing--why didn't you make this a hub? Something made me google part of it, and I found lots of hits. I was glad I could delete my earlier post before giving undo kudos :-)

    no offense ZBee....I'm really feeling kind of freaked at having to search everything on hubpages before I know if it is original!

    Is Vicki your daugher? http://www.bebo.com/Blog.jsp?MemberId=77840852

    or Wine Burps? http://www.vinesugar.com/blog_entry.php?id=305

    or Beth in New York City? http://bethinnyc.blogspot.com/2007/09/b … -ever.html

    My apoligies if your daughter and her friend really are the original authors of this very funny (and in my case accurate, as I implied, if you change the beverage of choice to tequila) post wink

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)