Self-Esteem & Family Size

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   gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   
   What is the correlation between levels of self-esteem & family size?

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      There is a very strong correlation between family size & self-esteem.  Children from small families have higher self-esteem while children from large families have very low to no self-esteem.   Children from small families are encouraged by their parents to be individuals & individualism & self-assertion are valued, even prized.  Conversely in large families, children are seen more as commodities than as individuals.  They are viewed & treated en masse.  Individualism & self-assertion are strongly discouraged in large families & viewed as selfish.   Children in large families are taught groupthink, never to think as individuals.  Children in large families are taught that they are nothing.
      
      Parents of small families interact w/their children whereas parents of large families don't.  There is a strong parent-child relationship in small families which has a positive effect on a child's self-esteem.  Parents of large families don't interact w/their children.  They leave their children to their own devices.  It isn't unusual for children in large families to raise themselves.  Because children in large families have very little or no parental interaction in addition to negative inculcation, their self-worth is abysmal. Many people in large families feel that they are insignificant of & in themselves.  That is why they attach themselves to groups.  They are uncomfortable being alone & individuals.  Individuality & a sense of self are foreign concepts in large families. 
      
      While parents in small families view self-esteem & self-worth as normative, parents in large families deride such concepts.  They believe that the concepts of self-esteem & self-worth only make children conceited so they discourage, even deride self-esteem & self-worth.  They inculcate their children that individuality is pointless & to submerge, even repress their individuality.  It isn't unusual for children in large families to have a marked inferiority complex.  They don't have any sense of self at all.  They are taught that they of themselves are worthless.

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      1. 95

         wildernessposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Grace, you seem like a good person, but I can only shake my head in disbelief and pity at this post. 
         
         I am one of 5 siblings.  Religiously we vary from far right Christianity to simple theism to atheism.  Educationally we include teaching, a scientist, an accountant, a programmer and the medical field.  Emotionally we are very different, from a "Mr. Spock" to the good "doctor McCoy".  Three of us have accepted the financial responsibility for their families but two play the "submissive" role there.  All of us are strongly individualistic, demanding respect from spouses as individuals.  One would live nowhere but a major city while the other 4 prefer small towns or mid sized communities.   All of us have maintained careers away from spouses.  Financially we range from low income to well into 6 figures.  You would be hard pressed to find 5 people more different.
         
         But we DO share a common love for each other.  We are there for each other when needed, whether we live a continent apart or next door.  Although quite willing to express opinions we are also capable of accepting and appreciating those of the rest - we can be team players when it's called for while still maintaining self-assertion.  Something a single child may never learn at all.
         
         I can't imagine why or where you got the idea that larger families are bad for anyone at all.  That the children learn values you don't appear to appreciate doesn't mean they are of no value any more than large incomes are evil and of no value to children.  The emotional support, as well as physical, financial or any other kind is something that small families with but one child can never experience and that is sad indeed.

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      2. 83

         psycheskinnerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         That sounds to me like idle speculation.
         
         FWIW I came from a small family and my self-esteem was absolute shit until well into my adult years.

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         1. 83

            gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Well, I don't believe in idle speculation.   I have studied family size in college & read books extensively about family size.  I have also observed the differences of children from small & large families.   In the majority of cases, children from small families have high self-esteem because parents encouraged individuation & a sense of self.   In large families, there is no individuation-all must be part of a group.  Forget about sense of self, such doesn't exist in large families.

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            1. 83

               psycheskinnerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Without identifying the sources and explaining your interpretation of them so it can be objectively discussed, that is speculation.

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               1. 83

                  gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  Children from large/very large families are strictly taught NEVER to express & cultivate their individuality.  In large families, to be an individual & express/assert one's individuality are seen to be selfish.  Children in large/very large families are told to be group-thinkers & to conform to a group consensus. 
                  
                  On the other hand, children from small families have a VERY HIGH sense of self & individuation.  They are very comfortable w/themselves.  They are taught to be individuals, not part of a group.

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                  1. 83

                     gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                     People from large families are strongly inculcated that to be an individual is selfish & morally wrong.  If one observes large families, the children are totally devoid of any sense of individuality.  They think & act in packs.   Children are taught the theory of groupthink in the large family.  Children are just en masse in the large family environment. 
                     
                     People from large families also have a very strong inferiority complex.  They believe that they aren't worth anything-just personae non gratae, if that.   They have no personal boundaries nor sense of personal space because they have no privacy & lived out in the open so to speak.  They don't KNOW what personal boundaries nor space are. They are used to living on top of each other & in CROWDED environments. They really aren't normal  like people from small families who have a sense of boundaries & personal space.  People from small families have a very strong sense of self & self-respect.  People from large families have little or even NO sense of self & don't respect themselves.

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   Live to Learnposted 7 years ago

   I'm not certain family size has as much to do with it as does parenting style. My parents were somewhat critical which made us that way. So, being the youngest I feel I had hurdles to get over but as I've aged I've seen my siblings did also. They were simply using me to overcome their own insecurities.

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   psycheskinnerposted 7 years ago

   This seems like a research question rather than something to be determined by idle speculation.

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4. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   People in large families AREN'T individuals.  They aren't encouraged to think & be individuals.  They are taught to be part of a group.  Individuality is discouraged in large families as opposed to small families where it is encouraged.  It is sad that children in large families are raised to adopt a lemming consciousness.   Children in small families are raised to be individuals & to assert themselves.  They are also raised to love themselves whereas children in large families are raised to deny, even repress themselves.  That is sad & masochistic.   To have a low or no sense of self is tantamount to a form of mental illness.  Children in large families can't exist of & in themselves- they must be part of a group for they can't exist individually.  Children from large families have NO self-esteem for the most part.  They are different from normal children.
   
   People from small families have close relationships.  They have people who are there for them.  I have cousins who have my back.  I also have friends who have my back.  I know people from large families whose family contact them only when they NEED something.  I know a person who is from a large family who died & only I & a cousin were at her funeral.  None of her immediate family members attended.  As I said before, children from large families have NO self-esteem nor sense of self because they were RAISED by their parents that they are insignificant of themselves.  In large families, the self is strongly denigrated while in small families, the self is praised & encouraged.   On a whole, people from large families HATE  & DISRESPECT themselves while people from small families LOVE & RESPECT themselves.  People from small families demand respect while people from large families don't respect themselves & are put upon by others.  People from large families don't ever demand respect from others & have no boundaries because they had no privacy growing up, living on top of each other & out in the open.

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5. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

   Continue the discussion,  I want to hear from people who come from small families.

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      Castlepalomaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Came from a small family. Yes more often than not, same with large class rooms and smaller classroom in school. Larger classroom you would get weaker attention and weaker learning abilities. Same with smaller countries it is easier to Govern. With the exception of too small a country where they are spread out too thin.

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      1. 83

         gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         +1,000,000,000,000-good analysis.  Children from small families receive more parental attention & are valued as individuals which translates in children having more self-esteem.  Conversely in large families, children DON'T receive any parental attention & individuality is discourage in favor of groupthink thus children have VERY LITTLE or NO self-esteem.   Children from large families have no self-esteem nor a sense of self because in large families, these things are viewed as signs of being self-centered.  Thank you Castlepaloma.   More people from small families join the discussion!

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