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Are You a Public Restroom Talker?

Updated on March 13, 2014
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!

Handle Your Business

The public restroom is a place we all fear, yet most of us are forced to use it. You never know the true evil that could be lurking on those toilet seats. Those toilets probably have a terrifying tale to tell, but thankfully, they can't talk. You know who can talk? You!

Many people love to talk and will happily chat away with just about anyone. However, the one place we should probably just keep our mouths shut is the public restroom. It is in everyone's best interest to just do what needs to be done and get out as fast as humanly possible. It seems, however, there are some folks that just like to linger.

If you are the type of person that stands (or sits) in a public restroom and gabs away, you are a public restroom talker. In many instances your behavior is totally acceptable and you will not be shunned from the bathroom. However, sometimes you are just absolutely annoying.

So how do you know if you are a public restroom talker? Even worse, how do you know if you are a nuisance in the restroom? Well, I am happy you asked. Let me break down the levels of public restroom talkers for you:

Level 1 - The Polite Talker

In all honestly, most of us are bathroom talkers or public restroom talkers from time to time. You go into the bathroom at work and see a co-worker coming out of a stall, so naturally you say, "hi." That is what is socially acceptable. You are a level1 public restroom talker.

Level 1 public restroom talking also includes women that insist on going to the bathroom together at restaurants and stores, yet they don't say that much to each other while they are there. Basically, once the stall door closes, the conversation stops. Seriously, sometimes it takes some thought to handle everything that must occur in the stall - check for a damp toilet seat, wipe the damp toilet seat, cover seat with paper, make sure toilet paper is there, and that is before you even sit down! This is not the time for a major conversation.

Even after leaving the stall, level 1 public restroom talkers tend to still keep it quiet. They basically try to keep conversations to a minimum. It is all about being polite, potentially sharing toilet paper with another restroom stall user in a toilet paper crisis situation, and getting out of the bathroom.

Level 2 - The Chatter

Sometimes people do not understand that bathrooms are intended for certain purposes and having lengthy conversations is not one of them. A level 2 public restroom talker wants to chat with you while going in the bathroom, while standing at the sink, and even while in the stalls.

Level 2 bathroom chatting is awkward since there never even seems to be an appropriate time to flush the toilet. When does the conversation end and the flushing begin? These are tough questions. The level 2 public restroom talker can be fairly annoying unless two level 2 talkers go to the restroom together.

Level 3 - The Stalker

The level 3 public restroom talker takes the conversation to a whole new level. Level 3 is beyond just your average chatting in the bathroom; level 3 is stalking.

A level 3 public restroom talker will purposely go to the bathroom with you to corner you. This likely happens at work when you are trying to avoid a co-worker. She will actually follow you into the restroom and then there is no escape.

While trying to use the bathroom, you are forced to listen to her story about how her neighbors found her lost dog, how she's behind with her credit card bills, buying her her new stapler for her desk, how there are not enough hours in the day, and all about the new spreadsheet system. Forget about the flush - it won't save you from the conversation. It still continues while the toilet is flushing. As soon as you leave the stall, you discover your co-worker has merely been waiting for you to finish because that chat is just not over.

Level 3 public restroom talkers are unafraid! There is absolutely nothing that can stop them from talking to you. Odors, weird sounds, and anything else will not deter them from chatting endlessly. The level 3 bathroom stalker is by far the most annoying and an unstoppable force in the restroom.

Anyone Can Change

It is important to know that anyone can change at any time. Just because you are at level 3 does not mean you can't stop what you are doing. Recognize that you have a problem and deal with it. All you have to do is stop following people into the bathroom to ramble on endlessly. With a little effort, you could easily become a level 2 in no time. Then you would only be mildly annoying! Good luck!

To all you level 2 public restroom talkers out there, now you know why people don't want to hang out with you in the bathroom! It is so easy to tone it down and become a level 1 within no time. Level 1 public restroom talkers are socially acceptable in any situation. Good luck and happy potty time!


Copyright ©2013 Jeannieinabottle

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