Funny Baby Names

It makes you wonder just what is going through people's heads when they give their babies weird names!

I mean, is it drugs, or the effects of years of taking drugs, or perhaps a hormone imbalance of some sort.

Some poor babies are saddled for life with the most mental names that you wouldn't even give to your dog - like Fifi Trixibell, daughter of Bob Geldof, or Sir Bob Geldof as he is now known having being bestowed an honorary knighthood thanks to his Feed the World Appeal that fed starving kids in Africa.

But that was years ago, no doubt this young lass has another name by now that she goes by.

But still it happens. Kids named after their dad's favorite football team, stuck with the names of all the players which will forever more make a mockery of filling out forms - middle names? Not enough space, can you pass me another sheet of paper, please?

Almost daily, it seems that some poor unfortunate baby is born and given the most ridiculous name.

I suppose it is the fact that it hits the headlines that makes parents do it. Their 15 minutes of fame that everyone is supposed to be entitled to.

The most recent mad name I have heard a baby called is Wales Manu Samoa 9-34 Moamoa Gale, born into the rugby loving Gale family on the Pacific Islands of Samoa on the same day that Manu Samoa beat Wales 34-9 at Moamoa field.

It's the 9-34 bit that gets me more than anything!

Wales, born in 1994, is reportedly proud of his name.

According to the Bounty Baby Club who have trawled through the UK Births Register over the past 10 years, some of the more unusual and weird names parents have come up with include;

• Shy - and what if he or she turns out to be anything but?
• Bean - Bean - I mean, really?
• Zowie - Named after David Bowie's son, I presume. At least he changed his name when he was old enough to.
• Puppy - you have got to be kidding?
• Ice - is she a maiden by any chance?
• Bowie - a Bowie fan, obviously.
• Porsche - a wannabe.
• Stone - I'm not getting that one at all. Crystal, maybe, but Stone?
• Gift - a gift for Gift, or should that be 'of'?
• Heaven - what if he or she turns out to be a Hell-raiser?
• Echo - good name for a book, maybe.
• Diesel - named after an aftershave, or perhaps Dad is a truck driver.
• Armani - nice suit! Was Armani one of twins?
• Maroon - I'm assuming this is after the pop group Maroon 5 of whom has often been said ..."Who?"

Believe it or not, those names above were among those registered in South Africa during World Cup 2010.

In many African nations, babies are traditionally named after important local events.

A FIFA spokesman reportedly said that they were "excited about those names".

You have got to be kidding!

I think he meant laughing, as in laughing at.

In May 2011, it was reported that Facebook fans, Israeli parents Vior and Vardit Ardor named their new baby daughter Like, after the button social networkers use.

They have an older daughter called Pie. Now that is just plain cruel. What if she is chubby when growing up. All her school mates will be chanting "Who ate all the pies?"

Yet another daughter is named Dvash, which mean Honey, apparently. Not so bad. Sweet, even.

Scottish couple, Joe and Chauntelle Hart named their son Sonnywolferine, after a character in X-men.

They have a daughter called Storm Cristal Brandy Tanisha Linda Genevieve Saffron Bronwen Hart and another son simply called Troy.

Scottish couple Ian Sellar and Francesca Sammut named their son Cole Sellar in early 2010.

To the central heating generation, a coal cellar is where that black sooty stuff was kept to heat houses in times gone by.

Because most kids nowadays don't know what a coal cellar was, he may well escape playground teasing.

Football-daft parents Amanda and Steven Preston named their son after the entire Burnley football team.

If it had been a girl, the parents are quoted as saying she would have been given the same names except her first name would have been Briany, after the goalkeeper Brian Jensen.

The team players at Burnley are:

Brian Jensen, Jay Rodriguez, Graham Alexander, Andre Bikey, Clarke Carlisle, Michael Duff, Wade Elliott, Danny Fox, Chris Iwelumo, Dean Marney, Tyrone Mears, Martin Paterson, Steven Thompson and Ross Wallace.

His parents plan to call him simply JJ.

No shortage here either of weird baby names!

• Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has two daughters, named Poppy Honey and Petal Blossom Rainbow. Not too bad!
• Pop superstar David Bowie called his son Zowie. He is now known as Joey. Not so daft, young Joey!
• Jason Lee named his son Pilot Inspektor. What???
• Penn Jillette named his son Moxie Crimefighter. As you do!
• Sylvester Stallone called his son Sage Moonblood. I think Sage Moonblood would do well in the current vampire cult.
• Dan Cortese chose Tabooger. You are kidding me! Sounds like snot!
• Frank Zappa's offspring include the monikers Moon Unit, Dweezil Zappa, Ahmet Zappa and Diva Zappa. Moon Unit? Dweezil? Is this man on something?
• Shannyn Sossaman has a son called Audio Science. I am trying and failing to see where that name came from.
• Bob Geldof's 3 daughters are Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. All three grew up normal, amazingly enough!
• Nicholas Cage called his offspring Cal-El Coppola. Not sure what to make of that one!

New Zealand

In 2011, New Zealand said "enough is enough" and drew up a list of banned names for future babies. Among them are:

• Benson & Hedges for a set of twins - babies were called this in 2008. I thought the names are quite funny actually. I assume they were both boys.
• Fish and Chips - again twins, can you guess?
• Violence - ah no, you can't call someone Violence, that's cruel.
• No.16 Bus Shelter - assume this is where this baby was conceived.
• Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii - this little girl was renamed by a judge during a custody battle when she was 9 years old.

Malaysia

Malaysia have become more strict in recent years. They have a list of banned names.

Germany

Germans are notoriously fond of bureaucracy, and so have strict naming laws. They recently banned the names Stompie, Woodstock and Grammaphon but allowed Speedy, Lafayette and Jazz.

Denmark

The Danes have a list of allowable monikers which parents must choose from. Rejected names include Anus, Pluto and Monkey.

Portugal

The Portugese have strict naming laws with a huge list of allowed and disallowed names which you can't deviate from.

Sweden

Sweden has strict naming laws, which is just as well, because in 1996 a couple tried to name their baby Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, pronounced Albin, apparently, in protest at the countrys strict rules. Another family wanted the name Q after the James Bond character, but it was disallowed.

However, Sweden permitted a child to be named Google, but they refused Metallica, Ikea and Veranda.

Norway

Norway also has a strict naming law in effect, and anything unusual must be applied for. In general, however, they are acceptable so long as they don't refer to illnesses, swearing or sex.

China

With its huge population, China is at risk of running out of baby names. The authorities there do have a strict code of acceptable names, and recently a couple wanting to call their child @, failed to be allowed to use the keyboard sign.

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