Funny Baby Names

It makes you wonder just what is going through people's heads when they give their babies weird names!

I mean, is it drugs, or the effects of years of taking drugs, or perhaps a hormone imbalance of some sort.

Some poor babies are saddled for life with the most mental names that you wouldn't even give to your dog - like Fifi Trixibell, daughter of Bob Geldof, or Sir Bob Geldof as he is now known having being bestowed an honorary knighthood thanks to his Feed the World Appeal that fed starving kids in Africa.

But that was years ago, no doubt this young lass has another name by now that she goes by.

But still it happens. Kids named after their dad's favorite football team, stuck with the names of all the players which will forever more make a mockery of filling out forms - middle names? Not enough space, can you pass me another sheet of paper, please?

Almost daily, it seems that some poor unfortunate baby is born and given the most ridiculous name.

I suppose it is the fact that it hits the headlines that makes parents do it. Their 15 minutes of fame that everyone is supposed to be entitled to.

Wales Manu Samoa 9-34 Moamoa Gale with his parents
Wales Manu Samoa 9-34 Moamoa Gale with his parents | Source

Wales Manu Samoa 9-34 Moamoa Gale

The most recent mad name I have heard a baby called is Wales Manu Samoa 9-34 Moamoa Gale, born into the rugby loving Gale family on the Pacific Islands of Samoa on the same day that Manu Samoa beat Wales 34-9 at Moamoa field.

It's the 9-34 bit that gets me more than anything!

Wales, born in 1994, is reportedly proud of his name.

According to the Bounty Baby Club who have trawled through the UK Births Register over the past 10 years, some of the more unusual and weird names parents have come up with include;

  • Shy - and what if he or she turns out to be anything but?
  • Bean - Bean - I mean, really?
  • Zowie - Named after David Bowie's son, I presume. At least he changed his name when he was old enough to.
  • Puppy - you have got to be kidding?
  • Ice - is she a maiden by any chance?
  • Bowie - a Bowie fan, obviously.
  • Porsche - a wannabe.
  • Stone - I'm not getting that one at all. Crystal, maybe, but Stone?
  • Gift - a gift for Gift, or should that be 'of'?
  • Heaven - what if he or she turns out to be a Hell-raiser?
  • Echo - good name for a book, maybe.
  • Diesel - named after an aftershave, or perhaps Dad is a truck driver.
  • Armani - nice suit! Was Armani one of twins?
  • Maroon - I'm assuming this is after the pop group Maroon 5 of whom has often been said ..."Who?"

Fifa, Goalkeeper, Tickets, Offside and Kick-Off

Believe it or not, those names above were among those registered in South Africa during World Cup 2010.

In many African nations, babies are traditionally named after important local events.

A FIFA spokesman reportedly said that they were "excited about those names".

You have got to be kidding!

I think he meant laughing, as in laughing at.

Like

In May 2011, it was reported that Facebook fans, Israeli parents Vior and Vardit Ardor named their new baby daughter Like, after the button social networkers use.

They have an older daughter called Pie. Now that is just plain cruel. What if she is chubby when growing up. All her school mates will be chanting "Who ate all the pies?"

Yet another daughter is named Dvash, which mean Honey, apparently. Not so bad. Sweet, even.

Sonnywolferine

Scottish couple, Joe and Chauntelle Hart named their son Sonnywolferine, after a character in X-men.

They have a daughter called Storm Cristal Brandy Tanisha Linda Genevieve Saffron Bronwen Hart and another son simply called Troy.

Cole Sellar with his mum.
Cole Sellar with his mum. | Source

Cole Sellar

Scottish couple Ian Sellar and Francesca Sammut named their son Cole Sellar in early 2010.

To the central heating generation, a coal cellar is where that black sooty stuff was kept to heat houses in times gone by.

Because most kids nowadays don't know what a coal cellar was, he may well escape playground teasing.

Source

Jensen Jay Alexander Bikey Carlisle Duff Elliot Fox Iwelumo Marney Mears Paterson Thompson Wallace Preston

Football-daft parents Amanda and Steven Preston named their son after the entire Burnley football team.

If it had been a girl, the parents are quoted as saying she would have been given the same names except her first name would have been Briany, after the goalkeeper Brian Jensen.

The team players at Burnley are:

Brian Jensen, Jay Rodriguez, Graham Alexander, Andre Bikey, Clarke Carlisle, Michael Duff, Wade Elliott, Danny Fox, Chris Iwelumo, Dean Marney, Tyrone Mears, Martin Paterson, Steven Thompson and Ross Wallace.

His parents plan to call him simply JJ.

Weird Celebrity Baby Names

No shortage here either of weird baby names!

  • Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has two daughters, named Poppy Honey and Petal Blossom Rainbow. Not too bad!
  • Pop superstar David Bowie called his son Zowie. He is now known as Joey. Not so daft, young Joey!
  • Jason Lee named his son Pilot Inspektor. What???
  • Penn Jillette named his son Moxie Crimefighter. As you do!
  • Sylvester Stallone called his son Sage Moonblood. I think Sage Moonblood would do well in the current vampire cult.
  • Dan Cortese chose Tabooger. You are kidding me! Sounds like snot!
  • Frank Zappa's offspring include the monikers Moon Unit, Dweezil Zappa, Ahmet Zappa and Diva Zappa. Moon Unit? Dweezil? Is this man on something?
  • Shannyn Sossaman has a son called Audio Science. I am trying and failing to see where that name came from.
  • Bob Geldof's 3 daughters are Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. All three grew up normal, amazingly enough!
  • Nicholas Cage called his offspring Cal-El Coppola. Not sure what to make of that one!

Countries that have Banned Weird Baby Names

New Zealand

In 2011, New Zealand said "enough is enough" and drew up a list of banned names for future babies. Among them are:

  • Benson & Hedges for a set of twins - babies were called this in 2008. I thought the names are quite funny actually. I assume they were both boys.
  • Fish and Chips - again twins, can you guess?
  • Violence - ah no, you can't call someone Violence, that's cruel.
  • No.16 Bus Shelter - assume this is where this baby was conceived.
  • Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii - this little girl was renamed by a judge during a custody battle when she was 9 years old.

Malaysia

Malaysia have become more strict in recent years. They have a list of banned names.

Germany

Germans are notoriously fond of bureaucracy, and so have strict naming laws. They recently banned the names Stompie, Woodstock and Grammaphon but allowed Speedy, Lafayette and Jazz.

Denmark

The Danes have a list of allowable monikers which parents must choose from. Rejected names include Anus, Pluto and Monkey.

Portugal

The Portugese have strict naming laws with a huge list of allowed and disallowed names which you can't deviate from.

Sweden

Sweden has strict naming laws, which is just as well, because in 1996 a couple tried to name their baby Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, pronounced Albin, apparently, in protest at the countrys strict rules. Another family wanted the name Q after the James Bond character, but it was disallowed.

However, Sweden permitted a child to be named Google, but they refused Metallica, Ikea and Veranda.

Norway

Norway also has a strict naming law in effect, and anything unusual must be applied for. In general, however, they are acceptable so long as they don't refer to illnesses, swearing or sex.

China

With its huge population, China is at risk of running out of baby names. The authorities there do have a strict code of acceptable names, and recently a couple wanting to call their child @, failed to be allowed to use the keyboard sign.

More Baby Names (after trawling through Phone Books)

  • Justin Case
  • Barb Dwyer
  • Stan Still
  • Jo King
  • Carrie Oakey
  • Priti Manek
  • Pearl Button
  • Barry Cade
  • Tim Burr
  • Les Plack
  • Terry Bull
  • Paige Turner
  • Mary Christmas
  • Anna Sasin
  • Shanda Lear
  • Justin Case
  • Barb Dwyer
  • Stan Still

More by this Author


Comments 22 comments

Painted Seahorse profile image

Painted Seahorse 5 years ago from Woodstock, GA

These are great! I honestly don't know what some parents are thinking--maybe they just crave attention. I read recently about a country that banned the name Lucifer. Forget about it being the name of Satan, it's also the evil cat in "Cinderella!"


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

I think I saw on my travels that it was Sweden that banned Lucifer (it is on New Zealand's banned list), but they accepted Luzifer? Odd anyway. I didn't know there was an evil cat in Cinderella! Great name for a cat (or a Doberman)!


livelonger profile image

livelonger 5 years ago from San Francisco

A very entertaining read. I know of a name that someone named their child that I won't state here since it might get your ads shut off (they explain it away as being pronounced "sh-TEED" but the spelling is unmistakeable). And then there's the example, explored in "Freakonomics," of twins named Winner and Loser. (Winner ended up being a drug-addicted criminal, and Loser ended up being a well-respected police detective; his nickname was "Lou".)


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

OMG there are some really bad names around!! The first name is sort of understandable I suppose - after all babies are incontinent! How could anyone names twins Winner and Loser? Strange that they ended up on opposite sides of the Law AND that their names didn't match their personalities. Maybe they were switched at birth?


Sophia Angelique 5 years ago

Well, I grew up with those kind of names. Our chauffer's name was 'Gladman.' :)


WriteAngled profile image

WriteAngled 5 years ago from Treorci, Cymru

One poor little girl was named Chlamydia.

Apparently the mother saw it on a poster while waiting for an antenatal appointment and thought it "sounded nice"


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

OMG, what is the world doings with these stupid names.

I've always been upset with my Mum calling me Joyce, I'll have take that back now.


Lyn.Stewart profile image

Lyn.Stewart 5 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

when I was a child my dad told me about a family from Africa who named there newborn son Toilet as they liked the sound of the word ...

New Zealand has reciently banned names like mongrel, bull dog etc. ... voted up and funny


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

@Sophia - you had a chauffeur? Wow! Weird name or not, that's impressive!

@WriteAngled - Oh no what a mistake to make!

@writer20 - Joyce is a perfectly normal name, think of what she could have called you LOL

@Lyn - Toilet - OMG - they get worse! Imagine New Zealand had to ban those words - I mean just who in their right mind would want to call their baby after their dog?


RGNestle profile image

RGNestle 5 years ago from Seattle

Some parents need to be slapped up the back of the head.

I remember two guests on an 80's TV show called "Real People". Their last names--although they were not related--were "Belcher".

Their given names were Ima and Ura. Now that's cruel.

It's interesting that the name Lucifer is banned in certain areas. It was actually used in the Bible to refer to Nebuchadnezzar when Daniel was interpreting his dream. It means "Son of Light" and was never used as Satan's name until at least 300 years after Christ.

It was adopted by the church when they mistakenly accepted Nebuchadnezzar's dream as being about the devil when it was actually about said Babylonian monarch.

Son of Light is a cool name!

I plan to name my first daughter Autumn. My wife wants to be cruel and name our first son after me--Roy. C'est la vie. There's no accounting for taste. (But who would call their child "Anus"?

Well, till next time, best to you all!


CASE1WORKER profile image

CASE1WORKER 5 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

Excellent hub- choosing a baby's name is hard, but I dont think there is any need to give them a name that will cause them hardship for the rest of their lives!


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 5 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Great article and great comments! Babies are brought into this world for the parents needs (when they are planned).. Not for the babies "needs." Their names serve a purpose for the parents.. It is a selfish process, but works well! Flag up!


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

Autumn is a lovely name! What if she is born in the spring instead?


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

This is it, I cannot understand why some parents give their children weird names they wouldn't even give to a dog. It is a form of child cruelty.


stclairjack profile image

stclairjack 5 years ago from middle of freekin nowhere,... the sticks

boss's grandson,.... is named Espn,... yea,.. after the sports network ESPN,... go figure.

another one,.... woman in springfield mo named her daughter shithead,.. pronounced shu-theed,... spelled,.. s-h-i-t-h-e-a-d,... i know,... crack kills... brain cells

girl in next town over was known for many things as we grew up together, (chastity NOT being one of those things)... but she WAS also known for her name,... her last name was Lear,... her parents named her Shanda,... so she was,... shanda lear,... like the light fixture.

now the teachers in school have a hard time pronouning all the strange names,... wonder why?

although when my son was in kindergarten the teacher insisted on pronouncing this little girls name deel-ia,... when it turns out her name was pronounced du-lee-uh,... the parents corrected the teacher repeatedly,... but she not only insisted on saying it wrong she forced the entire class to say it wrong,.. all year long,... the principal couldnt even get her to say it right,... she just kept going on about the spelling indicating it should be peonounced the way she said,...

damn glad my sons name was spelled j-e-f-f,...

and not geoff!


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

That your boss's grandson, the one called ESPN? I read about him during my research. Small world! Shanda Lear is classic! Hadn't heard of that one! The Sh..one was mentioned above by livelonger - that is terrible, mother should be jailed for that one. Name pronunciations are always a problem. The Irish especially have a lot of names that sound completely differently to how they are spelt - like Roisin (Rosh-een).


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 5 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

Some of the names that movie stars have been coming up with are ridiculous. One, for instance, is Apple. I think that's Qweneth Paltrow's daughter's name...not sure. And there are lots of other goofy ones. You have some great examples here. Where'd you ever find all of these?


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

I had to trawl loads of 'news' sites to find them all! I'm sure there are a lot more, but nearly every really ridiculous name makes the news, which might be why some parents do it in the first place. 'Apple' is tame in comparison!


Aficionada profile image

Aficionada 5 years ago from Indiana, USA

I remember reading about one many years ago - a mother named her little girl after a body part, because she thought it sounded pretty. She could have misspelled it to transform it to Virginia. I always wondered what happened to that poor child. She would be nearly 20 now.


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 5 years ago from UK Author

Awww no.!!! I really hadn't heard that one - the poor kid!


HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 4 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

Umm. Anyone name their kid Chlamydia had to be on drugs or something! Omg! If I was the kid, I'd be like what in the world were you thinking! lol


IzzyM profile image

IzzyM 4 years ago from UK Author

This is the sad thing - some so-called adults today cannot see a future, at all. Either that are they are on drugs and their word cannot be trusted. The whole idea of lumbering your baby for life with an 'unusual name' can be devastating for them.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working