I Won The Lottery When I Became A Dad

There's been a lot of hubbub (get it bub? hub... bub, I digress...but what a pun!) around the U.S. this season regarding the MegaMillions jackpot lottery which topped over $380 million! That's some sweet dolares as the U.S. funded Mexican drug cartel would say! Anyway, turns out two people won and divided it equally. This got me to thinking, how in my own way I've won the lottery becoming a dad.

Now my daughter, who would love a shopping mall buying spree, can't see the value of my metaphor I'm sure, haha. But I do. Given enough time, I think my daughter would agree. It's sentimental to say so, it's a bit saccharin sweet I know, but it's true: becoming a dad is little like winning the lottery.

But Ben, you say, becoming a father costs money, you don't receive any! Bozo!

Hey! Who are you calling Bozo hypothetical reader? You're the Bozo. No you're not, I love you, hypothetical reader. I like your tie and/or pantsuit too.

Before I was a dad I was (and still am of course) the oldest brother from a Catholic litter of six. This was the boot camp of fatherhood to me, having to take care of my brothers and sisters once in awhile. This is also where I made plenty of mistakes, which makes me a lucky guy, and my children luckier still I suspect. All of my brothers and sisters are, or are positively going to be in the future, great parents too. I know it sounds like I'm tooting my own horn here but I'm only repeating what others have described to me. I am humbly honored to be placed in the great parents echelon.

Whenever my daughter or son smile because of something I said or did, it's as though I just won a million bucks to me. It really is. When my kids laugh, it's like I just went out and bought a Ferrari Testerosa and took it for a spin. When your kids are happy, the feeling you get is kind of an intangible thing, but nonetheless, it's potent and ebullient. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am!

Both of my children are healthy and both of them are normal. Oh! Ladee frickin' dah! You say in your best Chris Farley impersonation. Ben Zoltak you're such a ham! Indeed kind reader, I am honey baked. But sincerely, when I say my kids are normal I mean they have all the easy and difficult attributes that come with kids. Sometimes they're cranky (as am I) sometimes they are angry (as I can be) and sometimes there's no pleasing them (just as... wait a minute, usually I can remedy this for myself with a braunshwager on rye) but again I digress. I am just happy my kids are normal in this regard, otherwise I'd suspect they were Disney robots or some such drivel.

I get why people stay single or without kids. It's not for everyone, and I certainly am not encouraging anyone without kids to go get some to straighten out your discombobulated life! You should really undiscombobulate your rancor first, then copulate for breeding purposes second, if you catch my drift.

It really is a priceless state to be in for those of us who enjoy the role. I am reminded of my own dad who used to play football and "500" with me, my brothers and sisters, and a gaggle of neighbor kids. Back then I just figured most dads did that sort of thing. Later I realized most do not. Some of my old school friends even recall playing football with my dad and let me know that they thought he was really great for spending time in that way. I've come to find out, that my wife's dad, my father in law, also had a reputation for building snow forts or playing catch with his kids and their friends too. The story goes that one of the neighborhood kids even came over and knocked on the front door and asked if he could "come out and play?"

So yeah, perhaps it's a bit cheesy, this whole "I won the lottery when I became a dad" thing. There are trials and tribulations with fatherhood that test our mettle to be sure. But it all lends character to the experience. For those who regret becoming a parent, maybe you need to do some soul searching and figure where you went wrong. From my point of view, and my children are still young, months old and a teenager, but we try to make good decisions for our kids, and then the chips fall where they may. Pontificating about some sort of perfect formula for every kid seems to be a recipe for disaster to me. But not giving up is a good platitude to hold up I think.

The winning part of being a dad isn't something that comes in stacks and rolls I'm afraid. It's more something experienced in fleeting moments sometimes, or long weekends others. Sure there are moments of adversity, but they are peppered by delicious existential bisques of understanding. Take heart, no matter what your money situation, you really have won the lottery if you've become a dad. Now what will you do with all those winnings?