Letter to My Daughter; 8 Things You Should Know About Being a Woman
Your body IS beautiful, if you just stop looking at each individual “flaw” and see yourself in your totality you will be in awe your own beauty! There is no need to strip down and stare in the mirror, as some body image ‘experts’ have suggested. Beauty is a mental concept, it is a about acceptance of both ourselves and others. Your body is a miracle. Beyond the superficial appearance of things, your body is made up of approximately one hundred trillion cells pumping blood through your heart, causing you to breathe and perhaps one day creating a baby. It is time to give something back your body in the way of respect by accepting it and learning to love it! LOVE your body, I do!
Your breasts are beautiful, no matter what size! In addition to being beautiful and an integral part of you as a sexual being, should you decide one day to have children, they can provide not only the greatest source of nourishment immunity against many illnesses for your baby, but just as profoundly, the act of breast feeding forms the earliest bond between mother and infant. While the media emphasizes only the appearance of the breast, there is of course, so much more to behold.
The concept of a singular definition of beauty is an American creation. I am referring to the “American Ideal” here. For example, if only one type of flower in a garden was considered ‘beautiful’ then the garden would become monochromatic and certainly less interesting. The media defines a beautiful woman as one that is actually a statistical oddity; a tall, thin woman with photo-shop flawless skin, blonde hair, blue eyes and certainly far from being average, which leaves most women falling short by comparison. From another point of view, women in France for instance seek to be their “personal best” rather than trying to change their appearance to fit a superficially manufactured concept, they instead honor their individuality. This is something that is hard for American women to do since “fitting in” can feel like the ultimate goal. in the end though, if you can embrace your unique “one of a kind” look and personality you will be welcoming peace and happiness into your life.
It is alright if certain people don’t like you. Life is not a popularity contest. Focusing on popularity in high school or via social media sites like Facebook will never bring anyone true happiness. Popularity is a superficial, unfulfilling goal. I remember the enormous focus surrounding “fitting in” in high school. Being popular had a great deal to do with having the right clothing, which meant the “correct” brand names. Again, looking to the French perspective, interestingly, the French language doesn’t even have a direct translation for the word “popular.” Instead of seeking popularity, a French woman will typically look to be her own best 'self', without the impossible to achieve need to always please others, they are free to please themselves.
The beauty of radiant health supersedes the goal of being fashionably thin. There is so much focus on being thin, while at the same time women are bombarded with fast food advertising and the availability of unhealthy options everywhere. The likely result of which is a multi-tiered array of eating disorders, yo-yo dieters and women with exercise addiction. If we could stop this insanity, we might invent a world where the radiance of health was the ultimate goal, not a certain size.
Your relationships will never be truly successful until you understand the dynamic that you have between yourself and each of your parents. This is because you carry this childhood experience and use it as a road map and instructional manual with all the relationships in your life. You develop schemas or ways of relating to others based on your childhood and take this kind of instructional manual with you, no matter how poorly it works. Moving away from your inherited schemes begins by looking at yourself and your own baggage and by not simply judging the behavior of others. The adage “you can’t change others, you can only change yourself” applies here. This kind of self-exploration will pay off a million fold. Do the work, it will bring you relationship success.
Pursue a career which you can connect with in a personal way and something you feel passionate about. Finding your calling in life might mean trying a handful of things and going back to the first, but remember to enjoy the journey.
When you become a parent, don’t pass up the chance to bond with your child; don’t think that career goals are ever more important than spending time with your child. Many mothers who choose to work while their children were young look back with regret. There is only one chance to watch a child learn to walk, talk or run, along with the other amazing milestones of childhood and in addition to the bonding that takes place over long periods of time spent together. The window of opportunity for a child wanting mommy’s attention will pass; there is no way to turn back the hands of time, the chance comes but once. The best time to bond with your child exists when your children are young.
Outside of financial necessity, society pressures women into feeling the need to work; this is in part because it is something measurable. The pressure to work is also affected by the sheep mentality, which is a way in which decisions are often made. Research has shown that given the choice of working or staying home, women will choose to work simply because this is what most other women are doing. In reality, the true measure of your worth exists in your heart and in the relationships that orbit around love. The parent-child relationship offers this like nothing else in life ever can.
© Copyright 2012, Tracy Lynn Conway, with all rights reserved.
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