What do you do when your boyfriend repremands you infront of the kids after you

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   Tashaonthetownposted 11 years ago

   What do you do when your boyfriend repremands you infront of the kids after you repremanded them?

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   sallybeaposted 11 years ago

   Tasaonthetown - I would find this completely unacceptable.  I think it much better if you and your boyfriend can come to some agreement before this ever arises again.  I think you could mutually agree with each other that in future you need to show a unified front to the children and then if any issues arise from this, you can discuss these away from the children and never in front of them..  Children learn really quickly how to play the one 'parent' against the other when you show them that you don't agree with each other.  Parenting is really one of the hardest jobs we will ever have to do and we have no formal training for it!  Best wishes.

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      Tashaonthetownposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, children do learn to play one parent against the other and keeping a unified front is important for stability.

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   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   First, focus on how to end up on top even though he repremanded you. Second, talk to him about it. Tell him how that could change the kid's view of you and that if he does not respect you in front of the children, they will not respect you. If he still repremands you in front of the children, I say go for all out war.

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      Tashaonthetownposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That is true, your partner has to show respect or the children will think that it is allowed to treat you the way that daddy does.

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   tonymead60posted 11 years ago

   I should tell your husband and let him deal with it.

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      Tashaonthetownposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      thanks for the answer

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   imgreencatposted 11 years ago

   Get rid of him.  He is not respectful of you and you don't need someone like that in your life anyway.

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      Tashaonthetownposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you! it does show a complete lack of respect and you are so very right.

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   Cantuhearmescreamposted 11 years ago

   I have seen the damage, first hand, that doing so can do to a child. The child will begin to look at the parent who’s being reprimanded as unimportant and see the one doing the reprimanding as having the back of the child. Not only does this create a role between the ill-reprimanding parent and child as allies but it creates a role for the other parent as being an opponent to both the child and the child’s ally.
   In the absence of the child this should be addressed immediately. Explain that it is never okay to call you out in front of the child about the child’s care. Express that you are willing to listen to your boyfriend’s concerns with what you said, but that needs to be discussed away from the child. If your boyfriend plays any kind of a care-giver role with your child then you two should be discussing the “big stuff” before punishments or consequences are given, to make sure that you are on the same page. If you are not on the same page, you can get through all of the disagreeing without the child being present.
   If in general, your boyfriend puts you down, degrades you or otherwise disrespects you, in front of the children, then you might want to reconsider the relationship in general.

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      Tashaonthetownposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, this is a freat answer and you are right!

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   lupineposted 11 years ago

   Let him know any discussion on this subject is to be done when the kids are not present.

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      Tashaonthetownposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      yes, it should never be infront of the children

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