Is it right to keep your kids from a family member who screams/cusses at them al

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   april hollandposted 10 years ago

   Is it right to keep your kids from a family member who screams/cusses at them all the time??
   
   My dad has a bad temper and always, always ruins get togethers because we have to walk on egg shells around him hoping he wont blast out verbally and hurt someone's feelings!  I took my kids away for good because I can't handle seeing them getting screamed at verbally for doing things kids do.  He blasts out in a rage fit over little things like spilled water, kids making noises or a dog walking by.  I think he needs help and to grow up and why should I subject my kids to this verbal abuse???

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   JThomp42posted 10 years ago

   You shouldn't!! You have definitely made the right decision by keeping your children away from this toxicity. There is nothing good that could come out of this situation. Bravo for you!!

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   april hollandposted 10 years ago

   Thank you JThomp42.  I just can't handle it any more.  He always says he wont do it again but something always happens.  I can't see raising kids around that type of abuse.  Geesh.

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      JThomp42posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You are very welcome. You have definitely done the right thing!

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   Express10posted 10 years ago

   It is definitely right. Do you want your child to think this behavior is okay and begin doing it? Never subject yourself or your children to this. Please don't allow your kids to be a part of that. Your father needs help and needs to change if he wants to see you or your kids. You may be able to change his actions by "training" him yourself. Visit with the kids and at the very first offense get up and leave and be sure to tell him that you can't have your kids around that. You have to be willing to go through this several times, but usually people get it and settle down but you should never settle for this behavior from anyone, family or not.

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      april hollandposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Express 10, no we will not be subjecting our kids to this any more.  It is not healthy for my kids and I stand up for my kids but get so angry at him, and that is not a good influence

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   duffsmomposted 10 years ago

   As a parent it is your right and responsibility to protect them from bad influences in life and they should not be subjected to verbal abuse--among a whole host of other things.
   
   I don't believe your father "needs to grow up."  It sounds more to me like he is suffering form PTSD or severe depression. Only a mental health professional can make that determination. But I would lovingly let him know that until he receives help, your kids will not be treated in that way....PERIOD!
   
   Good for you for taking a stand.

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      april hollandposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Dad was in a bad car wreck when I was six but it seems to have gotten worse with time.  I agree, we are praying my dad gets the help he needs from this depression anger anxiety or whatever it is he has.

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   lburmasterposted 10 years ago

   Yes, it's always fine to protect your children from that. I've made it very clear to my father-in-law that he can only see our son once a year under my supervision. He was abusive to my husband and it's horrible to see David filled with anxiety every time he has lunch with his father. It's easier just to keep certain people away from the family. They cause too much stress, anxiety, trouble, fights, discussions, etc.

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      april hollandposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree it is easier and best for people to just stay away from people like that.  Kids should not be subjected to that verbal abuse.

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   skperdonposted 10 years ago

   Definitely! Just let him know why he won't be seeing them anymore. You are your kids' protector and they have to know that you care for them first.

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      april hollandposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree also skperdon, my husband and I cannot subject our kids to this.  It is obvious my dad need prayer and help.

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   Efficient Adminposted 10 years ago

   I strongly believe you are doing the right thing by not exposing your children to that abuse. Did you have to go through that when you were growing up?  He can be told his behavior is inappropriate for all it's worth. Good for you to not let your children go through that.

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      april hollandposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately I did go through that but I will not subject my children to it.  Seriously it can't be normal behavior.  Thank you for your concern..

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