Can severe states of denial cause as much harm to a person & their family members as lies?
I'm sure many of you will first think of 'Drugs,' where addicts or their loved ones are in denial but I'm referring Denial within a family regarding All forms of behavior from one or more of its members or a parent in denial of their adult child's true, criminal or manipulative nature.
Absolutely! My ex husband through his denial has only enabled our twenty year old daughter and hinder her rehabilitation. However, tomorrow at 1 she will be at a rehab center. She came to realize she needed recovery after I had her arrested recently for larceny. If you are personally dealing with the horrors of addiction and denial, I hope all involved can become pro-active and seek the help they need to become well again. Good question!
Goodness Wildove5- I'm sorry to hear you've had to go down such a rough road with your child but I'm glad for you & her that she's willing to seek treatment. I Truly wish your family the very best! I'm dealing with lies & denial almost 40 y
I'm sorry to hear that, I am hopeful yet weary that rehab will right the wrongs. Just this morning she said she didn't need to go to rehab, an argument ensued and for now, she is going, Perhaps we could share stories, there is strength in numbers.
When someone is in denial over the harmful behavior of a friend or family member they are enabling that person to continue the behavior. I see many instances where parents or siblings are the worst enablers because they refuse to believe their loved one could be a bad person. It's sad because so many times if the family would wake up and realize what is going on then perhaps they could step in and help, instead they ignore, enable and more people end up being hurt in the end.
Like Stina already mentioned, this denial does further enable the maladaptive behavior pattern. The only place I differ from her though, is that in a lot of families, there is a conscious awareness of this denial, and they just have chosen to let this type of family dynamic continue.
Additionally, if this is a well established behavior pattern, some family member's may feel powerless to attempt to change it, and hence continue to turn a blind eye to it.
I can personally attest to how much damage denial can cause in everyday relationships. At times it can feel like communicating to someone in a foreign language when talking about the issue they are in denial about. They do not acknowledge there is a problem and this stops the communication process that could lead to resolution of the issue or at the very least a deeper understanding of the underlying thought processes.
Harm not only occurs to the person in denial directly, but also extends to other family members due to the frustration they experience from being blocked from acknowledging and exploring the issue.
Yes, in my family, the patriarch makes great effort to deny that his male children could possibly do anything wrong making the females those at fault at all times. W/ far more males, this is the Accepted way, now. I think the same. Thanks!
Yes, I believe so. Denial is a form of silent or a unspoken lie. Many people feel that if they do not acknowledge a situation that it will go away. Most cases of denial is handled by turning your head the other way, hoping that the issue will correct itself. Fear of the consequences keep people in denial.
In reality we are taught not to lie, but there are no rules mentioned about denial, which can cause more harm than telling a lie.
Denial can cause more harm and friction to a family unit because it is very difficult to deal with someone that won't acknowledge the truth evolving an issue, which is an ongoing thing that can escalate as time goes on.
I normally don't require validation of my thoughts but denial is so pervasive in my family it has my head spinning & trying to undo the hold it's had for nearly 40 yrs is beginning to seem impossible. Thank-you for answering. You're on the money
It can definitely be as harmful as lies, maybe even more harmful. Denial can be an extremely powerful thing. Some people will absolutely refuse to accept something even in the face of overwhelming evidence.
Yes I think so. People tend to close their eyes to reality. It must not be an issue if an issue in itself remains with a person but when loved ones take to their heart his shortcomings everyone suffers.
True there is no issue to that person if the person in denial does not feel there is one. However, what becomes the issue is when this denial begins to affect others in the family or relationship dynamic negatively and is monetarily costly
I'm not sure, I think that as with everything it has to be reasonable. Denial can be a stepping stone to: coping, accepting and adjusting to the new norm. I think that people need to be allowed a reasonable time frame to observe, denial can be transitional. I speak from experience, my Mom was deeply rooted in denial when my son was diagnosed with autism. I was really frustrated because I needed her support, I needed her to buck-up and help me deal with it as I am a single Mom. When I realized that autism happened to my family, not just my son and I, I gave her some space. I talked to her a lot about how she felt and what I realized was that her denial was fear, panic, shock etc. She eventually came around. Sometimes, not always, people need some time to hang-out in their own denial.
by H C Palting 2 years ago
What would you do if a family member only contacts you when they want something?Would you keep a sibling at arm's length if they exhibit a pattern of contacting you only when they want something? Why or why not?
by Lissette 6 years ago
How do you find a family member that you never met and no almost nothing about?My mother often wonders if her father is still alive. She never met him and has very little information about him. He would be at least 80 years old or maybe older...It would be nice to find out about him but...
by Krystal 10 years ago
What are the best ways to deal with a mentally ill family member?My mother is mentally ill and for the most part, she lives a normal life. It is when she goes off her meds that things get down right scary. What are some ways for me to cope with her illiness, especially when she is in a bad state of...
by Audrey Selig 8 years ago
How to control passive aggressive family member who sends husband to his parents begging for money?They are retired and live on pensions.
by Eric Newland 10 years ago
A family member of mine has hit rock bottom after a long path of self destruction and addiction. I don't want to give details beyond that because I'm using my real name on this site, but they need healing badly right now, physical, mental, and emotional.
by 4wardthinker 10 years ago
Would you ever go into business with your spouse or other family member?
Copyright © 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|