Presents for absent children this xmas.

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   MonsterMuncherposted 14 years ago

   What is the best present to buy an 18 month old son for xmas who you don't get to see anymore??
   
   I dont see him as me and the ex have fallen out and I havent got to see him for 4 months but want to leave something on the doorstep which is meaningful.

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2. 61

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   It depends on what you want to spend.
   
   "Meaningful" things may be something that will last, rather than a toy that he'll play with while he's at his present age. 
   
   Gifts shops have items for young children that people get names, dates or whatever they want engraved on them.  There are particularly "gift-worthy" child's plate, bowl, flatware, sets (with - like Beatrix Potter's bunnies on them).  They're unbreakable and "gift level" (rather than the $2 plastic ones sold in places like WalMart).   You can get cups with a child's name on them.  There are "gift-quality" books (like a book of children's stories, poems, or nursery rhymes; or else a nice version of a classic children's story).  This kind of book can be read to the child, but then is usually saved as a keepsake-type-of thing. 
   
   A nice story book with a toy to go with it could be good.  An example is that, for little girls, there are books about ballerinas and they come with a silver-ballet slipper charm.  Maybe you could get a nice book but add your own "extra".  A book about a classic character (Winnie the Pooh) with a stuffed Winnie the Poor bear could be good.
   
   There are wood puzzles that last forever.  A classic set of wood blocks might be an idea.  A "regular" toy designed for children age is always an option, although not all that meangingful.  Toddler Duplos (toddler Legos) will help a child learn sit-down play and usually keep them interested.  If you'll eventually be seeing him, a toy that will help him learn and keep him busy may be fine. 
   
   A special stuffed animal and a book is a classic gift.  A special picture frame (maybe bureau-top size/maybe engraved) with either a picture of you, his grandparents, or even just a picture of the latest two-year-olds' character (like Elmo) might be nice.  When my son was a baby someone gave him a wood cut-out of his first initial for his bedroom wall.  I also hung a collector plate on his bedroom door.  It had the poem, "Children Learn What They Live" (Dorothy Law Nolte) printed on it.
   
   If money "is an object" you could go for something like a toy that will keep him busy and help him learn (back to toddler building sets or other toys that aren't "one-shot deals" like a talking phone); but then get a picture frame or cute knick-knack thing for his bureau top at a place like a dollar store.
   
   That's all I can come up with at 8 in the morning ( ); but look at gift shops or in gift sections of department stores.  There are also catalog and online places where you can order special gifts for children.  Do a search for something like, "keepsake gifts for children" or "personalized gifts for children".

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   1. 60

      MonsterMuncherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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3. 68

   lrohnerposted 14 years ago

   Why don't you get him a court order that says he can visit with you?

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      Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely:
      THAT Would be the best present then wouldn't it: Quality Time

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      1. 60

         MonsterMuncherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Well no. That would be my best present but not his. He probably doesn't even remember who I am. I'll look into getting access in the New Year.

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      MonsterMuncherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ha ha!!  I have thought of that but I don't want to rock the boat. As long as he's happy then I'm happy for him..... sad for me though :-(

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         lrohnerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Oooohhhh, MM. Bad thing to say. My ex-hubby didn't have his Dad in his life and it messed him up badly. I was unfortunate enough to have lived through the ramifications of that decision by his father. He was married and had a son before he and I met, and he hasn't seen or talked to him in over 30 years. That kid was pretty messed up for a long, long time as well. My ex and I then had 3 kids, one a boy. For over 10 years, he barely saw his son. It messed my son up BIG TIME. And I mean BIG TIME.
         
         Pardon me for butting in, but you need to rock that boat and rock it as much as you can. Your son needs to know that his Dad does care, and a toy at Christmas isn't going to cut it. Trust me.

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            MonsterMuncherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Hmmmm. Your experiences sound quite awful but please dont preach to me. You don't know my circumstances so please lets just stick to the present question and lets not turn this into a personal attack.

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4. 62

   prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

   hi,  would like to say that you talk to your ex wife about your visitation rights and if this will not work go to court,see your child, visit him, be with him, thats the most meaningful one....

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5. 0

   Poppa Bluesposted 14 years ago

   I can't imagine why you wouldn't be able to see your son, unless it's court ordered. A nice gift would be a picture of you and he together in a nice frame. This would be useless though if you and your ex aren't even talking and there is so much animosity that she would likely not display it.
   
   You need to put an end to the battle between you and your ex and make your son your top priority. A boy needs his father. You need to be in his life, and like it or not, your ex will be in it too. The sooner you accept that and make an effort to get along for the sake of your son, the better off you all will be. Good luck!

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      MonsterMuncherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks but it isn't a relationship councillor I'm after, and no, I haven't got any court order against me! My relationship and reasons are private. I am after help picking a few presents thats all. :-(

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6. 79

   europewalkerposted 14 years ago

   If you can't leave a gift, I would start a journal for him, that you could give him when he is older. You could acknowledge his birthdays and holidays and let him know how much you love him and miss seeing him. Just a thought. I saw what my son went through with his ex and his two sons.

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This is a nice idea.  Writing the stuff on the computer, printing it out, and maybe having a big, fat, binder to keep the pages in would eventually make a nice thing for him to see.

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7. 68

   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   Get him a bright shiny ball. Even better, get balls of different sizes and colors. At a year and a half, kids really go for that stuff and it's as meaningful as it gets.

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