Daily Weird #19 (The deadly butt)

Egypt has a new hero, and his name is Dragan Stevic. While other tourists at the Red Sea resort were scared out of their minds, Dragan was steady. Steady as a beyond drunk guy can get, that is.

Tourists said they were scared because a hammerhead shark had been terrorizing them for weeks. He just wanted a friend, but people didn't seem to "get" him.

Anyway, I'm not certain of the real cause of their fear, because everyone knows you can kill a hammerhead; you just have to use your butt.

Apparently, the resort has a high diving board that allows the tourists to dive and do cannonballs into the ocean. No one had gone near the ocean in weeks, however, due to the shark, until the day when Mr. Stevic decided to ignore the shark, and cannonball regardless of his audience.

Mr. Stevic had a bit of courage that day, more than a bit, actually. He’d had so much courage that he said, “To hell with the hammerhead shark! This ocean’s big enough for the two of us!” OK, he didn’t say that at all. I doubt if anyone actually knows what he said because he was extremely drunk.

They do, however, know what he did. He climbed (unsteadily, no doubt) to the top of the high dive. Then he did a cannonball. It was a great cannonball. It was an awesome cannonball. It was the best cannonball any of the tourists had ever seen. It was the last cannonball the hammerhead shark would ever see. When Dragan landed, he landed right on the head of the shark.

Dragan Stevic killed the hammerhead shark with his butt.

I do not believe there was any farting involved.

I could be wrong. I would ask Mr. Stevic, but he’s in the hospital recovering from alcohol poisoning.

And you thought I might be exaggerating when I told you he was drunk.