A message of hope in loss

It is raining outside. My car windows are rolled down a bit. I can smell the fresh air. It is being cleansed. It is as if this was meant for me. The patter tottering on my car is a soothing, distinct sound. It is as if tears are falling from the sky. I hear splashing of water in the rain puddles similar to a gentle, soft background music. I feel ever so present. I have known this feeling. I want to stay for many hours. I am in the present. There is no time. I am not thinking past tense or future.. The rain is now sprinkling on my car in a soft patter. The cars drive through the puddles. in a blink of an eye the noise echos like a voice in a valley.It calms my nerves. I subconsciously have let all my cares go. The warmth of my body temperature is perfect. I feel as if a warmed blanket has been wrapped around me. I know it is the, 'Wings of the Lord.' I intuitively know the Holy Spirit is the comforter. I thank God for this moment. My eyes feel sleepy, I could drift into a slumber. I am here. I know that I know,I am not alone. I am loved. A feeling of love fills my fiber and being ever so soft and tender. A car door closes. It is brief sound fading off into space. Similar to feeling's, they come and go. They are not permanent. I wonder if paradise is similar to this. I can feel the soft murmur of my heart. Each moment is a precious gift. If all could stay present I think anxiety or stress would not be an issue. I glance at my watch. A tear falls on my hand. I look at the time. I rise from the moment. I must get to work. for my last client today. I long to stay for more minutes. Life will carry on.

The rain has let up. I can smell the cleansing of the air, Crisp and clear. The chill of the air looks similar to a clear glass of iced water. I shut my eyes. I do not want to return. I feel like I could fly. I am renewed. My spirit is at peace. My mind is alert. I open the car door. I go into the bank. I feel like I shine with light. It is the Glory of God. He is my shelter in the storm. I hope to remember this. In every storm in life, there is a calm.

It has been two weeks. I have been in grief. Grief is like riding a roller coaster. It is up, down, smooth, climbing, soaring, it leaves butterflies in the stomach. I had emotions so intense i bent over in pain. There have been two young death's in our family. The deaths were so senseless. One by intent. The other by drugs and alcohol. But for the Grace of God go I. My sister lost her step son,. her husband is despaired. My niece lost her husband and father to a 14 month old daughter. Somehow I know they will be healed. I do know God has huge wings. I think of the scripture, 'God can turn all things for good for those that love him'.

I understand why it is so important to love, forgive and be available for others. Bless get blessed, give it will be given back to you, forgive, you will be forgiven. Love, you will be loved. I plan to treat others as I would want to be treated. What I have is a daily reprieve to stay spiritually fit. Sometimes a moment at a time. It is a daily reprieve. Progress not perfection. I will never be that. I can reach for better with the hand of the creator.

God has a plan ,hand it over to him one day at a time. One moment if that is all you can handle. It is a softer, easier path then handling life on your own. You do not need to be alone. If you are a bit down or in a struggle I encourage you try to stay present. There is a true gift in not looking back and not looking ahead. God will carrry you if you knock at his door. If you cannot seem to knock he will lift you up if you only believe he is your Lord and Savior. 'His grace is sufficent enough' ( Scripture)

Healing is a process. Growing pains are called just that, they hurt. I am grateful I do not always act on my feelings. A feeling will pass. Tommorow is a new dawn.

Being God conscious is like having a sixth sense. Most of us hear, smell, touch, feel, taste. When Christ abides in you and we in him it is another sense. It is amazing. God is awesome. He has given the ultimate gift he sent his very son to die on the cross for us so we could be spared from hell and spend eternity with him in the light. That is hope and awesome. We can look forward to life eternal where there are no tears or suffering. (Revelation)

May you be blessed richly. Your friend.