Can You Hear Me Daddy

Easter Sunday 2011 My Father Suddenly Passed Away

'I Never Got To Say Goodbye'

It was Easter Sunday I received the call. My father had died. My sister found him cold on the kitchen floor still holding his chocolate milk in one hand. I cried hysterically for hours, my heart ripped in two. My Father was my best friend. I loved him more than anything possible in this world. I still am working through my grief, and am missing him terribly. I sometimes feel that only part of me remains, I cry for him at night-time, my desperate voice travels through the solitary breeze. This poem is dedicated to his memory. My Father was my soul, the most beautiful father one could ever hope for.

I love you Daddy....I am struggling to get back onto my two feet. I am totally lost without you.

Dedicated To My Beautiful, Kind, Caring Father ........

"I am missing you terribly, how do I live without you?"

God why did you take my Father home?,

Why didn't you take me there instead?,

I never got to say goodbye,

I can't believe he's dead.

He was my friend, my love, my hero,

A perfect, gracious man,

Why he had to die this way,

I just don't understand.

If only angels had prepared me,

I could have been there by his side,

Telling him so many things,

I kept hidden deep inside.

I cry myself to sleep at night,

My world a shade of grey,

Life has been so empty,

Since the day you went away.

Your spirit is bound to mine inside.

Your face paints the vast blue skies,

"Oh God", "Why did you have to take him?,

Why do Fathers have to die?.

I kiss your face upon the wall,

While tears sting my eyes,

My pain is there for all to see,

A grief I cannot hide.

I talk to you at nightime,

I ask you for a sign,

So I can know you're really there,

To heal this heart of mine.

Last week I held you in my arms,

In a golden box so small,

Just me and my Father's ashes,

Within those empty walls.

If God could grant me just one small wish,

It would be to run into your arms,

I'm so very sorry Father,

That I couldn't keep you from all harm.

I kiss your face upon the wall,

My heart so full of pain,

It feels this world I live in,

Will never be the same.

At first I wanted nothing more,

Than to join you where you are,

But I knew that's not what you would want,

I felt your wishes from afar.

Daddy I'm lost, I'm hurting deeply,

My need for you abounds,

Yesterday you were here,

Today, you're buried in the ground.

Can you see me from up in heaven,

Can you hear the words I cry,

I beg for you to give me a sign,

That you're up there in the sky.

I wish I could have said "goodbye",

And all I wished to say,

To thank you for the things Dad's do,

In my own very special way.

If I had the choice of wealth and fame,

Or to see you once again,

I'd choose you in an instant,

Through hell, and earth and rain.

My tears spill as I write these words,

My fingers grip me heart

I love you darling Daddy,

I'm so sorry we're apart.

Losing you is the most trying time,

That in my life I've known,

If only I could run to you,

I feel so terribly alone.

Debbie Murray ⓒ 2011