Silly Bathroom Habits

There are things about public restrooms that I’ve never been able to understand. For example, the need for people to etch their initials into baby changing stations or why the counters are always completely wet, even when they’ve hardly been used. But there are a few peeves that I can’t overlook without ranting about, simply because they’re asinine and a waste of time.

1)      Using a paper towel to grab the door handle for fear of picking up germs.

Ladies, this is a ridiculous habit. Because even though you’ve be so careful to avoid touching the bathroom door of a public restroom, you still have to grab the handle of the door to the movie theater or the exit door of the mini mart or the handle of the door to the office, which most guys who haven’t washed their hands have touched all day long. If you’re that paranoid about germs, just carry hand sanitizer with you.

2)      Not using the stall where someone hasn’t flushed the toilet.

There is a line in the women’s restroom and the last stall remains open. You’ll watch woman after woman walk up and see the yellowish brown mess floating in the toilet bowl and they’ll recoil as if they’d seen a dead rat on the floor. This is silly. All it takes is a flush of the handle (which you have to touch anyway when you flush the toilet after your turn), and the mess disappears. It’s that simple. Beats waiting ten minutes in line doesn’t it?

3)      Leaving paper towels on the floor.

So you don’t want to grab someone else’s used paper towel, even when you’ve dropped yours. This results in a dirty floor strewn with tissues. All it takes is using your paper towel to pick up the other paper towel and throwing it away in the trash can. It’s not a big deal. Again, if you’re that paranoid about germs, use hand sanitizer.

4)      Being afraid to let loose in a work bathroom when you have to poo.

We’ve all been there. It’s the middle of the work day and you have no choice but to use a public restroom to go #2. A lady sits in the stall next to you and you both awkwardly sit in silence, either one trying not to make a sound outside of grabbing a hold of the toilet paper roll. I say just let go. So a little fart breaks the silence and maybe echoes off the bathroom walls. She can’t see you. She doesn’t care. That’s what bathrooms are for. It sure beats being constipated, squeezing the cheeks with all your might as you sit at your desk for the rest of the afternoon.

5)      Not using the men’s restroom when it’s open, and there is a long line for the women’s restroom.

Yes, the men’s room is more dirty and yes, as women we’re technically not supposed to use it. But to me, it’s heinous to wait in line when there is a vacant restroom, regardless of the label. I can brave the raunchy smell and raised toilet seat at a gas station if I have to pee bad enough.

And there it is. Just a few things that could speed up the whole waiting process when nature calls. Just imagine how much time and urinary dances could be saved by carrying hand sanitizer and being a little more proactive with clean-up. Next time, don’t leave it up to the cleaning lady to leave you a fresh bowl. Let’s keep the line moving, shall we?