Online Dating Turnoffs for Women
Women in general tend to be very analytical (I say this as an analytical female). We read into everything, whether men think it's fair or not. Unlike online dating, meeting face to face allows you to make up for a bad first impression, or reel a woman in with your personality, sense of humor, good looks, or great repartee. Online...not so much. We click "'delete" or won't reply to your message. Below are some common reasons why. And as a disclaimer, these may apply to women as well.
1. you don't capatlize when you right your message and use bad grammor.
If you can't take the time to capitalize the first word of a sentence, or run the spell check, then why should we take the time send a message or hit reply? Don’t you want to make a good first impression? We see this refusal as pure laziness and apathy, two traits no one is looking for in a mate. TIP: write a message or profile in a word processor that underlines a misspelling, then paste it into the online program.
2. Your profile photo(s) leave(s) a lot to be desired.
Whoever said “looks don’t matter” is a liar. Oh sure, ultimately personality wins over, but you need the initial physical attraction. Everyone has different tastes and opinions on what is attractive. But there are some mistakes many people make when it comes to their online photos, regardless of how they look:
A. If your profile photo was taken with a web cam, this is a problem. I have a hunch that a web cam would make Brad Pitt look like a homicidal maniac. The lighting is awful, the angle is never good, and it’s just a bad idea! Don’t do it!
B. Don’t ever, EVER post a photo online with other women in it, especially if you cut out her face, but her arm is still around your shoulders. Can you say tacky? Sisters are okay, but specify that it’s your sister in the photo caption.
C. Be smart about your photo and ask your sister, or mother, if they think it’s a nice photo to post. Remember, this is your first impression! Don’t have photos that are looking up your nose. Use your common sense!
D. Don’t contradict. If your photo shows your double chin, but you describe your body type as “athletic,” you’re lying. Not a good way to start.
3. You begin every sentence with “I”
It’s difficult to think of new ways to start a sentence when describing yourself. But when you start eight or nine sentences with “I” we notice, and it’s a huge turnoff.
4. Showing embarrassment/inexperience about dating online.
Countless people, men and women, begin their profile description with “I’ve never done this before” or “I’m a little embarrassed to be doing this.” We show no mercy if it’s your first time or if you’re not very comfortable yet. We’re all in this online thing together, so saying you’re a little embarrassed is insulting.
5. You bloviate.
Ideally, a perfect profile description is between 5-7 sentences, a sentence being no longer than 20 words. Don’t describe your appearance; your photo does that. Don’t say that people find you attractive: we will be the judge of that. Don’t list every single hobby that you love, your favorite sports teams, and what you like to do at lunch. We like a little mystery, and you want us to inquire, right? So give us a little of what we want, enough to make us curious: What do you want a woman to know about you first? Do you like to party or are you the calm quiet type? What do you do for a living? Where do you see yourself in the future?
6. You like to flirt, but won’t commit.
I think most dating sites have the flirting option, where you can “beam a smile” or “wink” at someone. It’s a way of saying “I think you’re interesting, but I’m too scared to send a message.” I get it, no one likes to be rejected, even if it’s online. But we’re much more likely to respond positively if you write a little message and ask us a question. It really helps if your message is a cute one.
Online dating is tough. First impressions are so important, or we’ll just browse to someone else, even if you are a great guy.
