Online Dating Turnoffs for Women

Women in general tend to be very analytical (I say this as an analytical female). We read into everything, whether men think it's fair or not. Unlike online dating, meeting face to face allows you to make up for a bad first impression, or reel a woman in with your personality, sense of humor, good looks, or great repartee. Online...not so much. We click "'delete" or won't reply to your message. Below are some common reasons why. And as a disclaimer, these may apply to women as well.

1. you dont capatlize when you right your message and use bad grammor.

If you can't take the time to capitalize the first word of a sentence, or run the spell check, then why should we take the time send a message or hit reply? Don’t you want to make a good first impression? We see this refusal as pure laziness and apathy, two traits no one is looking for in a mate. TIP: write a message or profile in a word processor that underlines a misspelling, then paste it into the online program.

2. Your profile photo(s) leave(s) a lot to be desired.

Whoever said “looks don’t matter” is a liar. Oh sure, ultimately personality wins over, but you need the initial physical attraction. Everyone has different tastes and opinions on what is attractive. But there are some mistakes many people make when it comes to their online photos, regardless of how they look:

A. If your profile photo was taken with a web cam, this is a problem. I have a hunch that a web cam would make Brad Pitt look like a homicidal maniac. The lighting is awful, the angle is never good, and it’s just a bad idea! Don’t do it!

B. Don’t ever, EVER post a photo online with other women in it, especially if you cut out her face, but her arm is still around your shoulders. Can you say tacky? Sisters are okay, but specify that it’s your sister in the photo caption.

C. Be smart about your photo and ask your sister, or mother, if they think it’s a nice photo to post. Remember, this is your first impression! Don’t have photos that are looking up your nose. Use your common sense!

D. Don’t contradict. If your photo shows your double chin, but you describe your body type as “athletic,” you’re lying. Not a good way to start.

3. You begin every sentence with “I”

It’s difficult to think of new ways to start a sentence when describing yourself. But when you start eight or nine sentences with “I” we notice, and it’s a huge turnoff.

4. Showing embarrassment/inexperience about dating online.

Countless people, men and women, begin their profile description with “I’ve never done this before” or “I’m a little embarrassed to be doing this.” We show no mercy if it’s your first time or if you’re not very comfortable yet. We’re all in this online thing together, so saying you’re a little embarrassed is insulting.

5. You bloviate.

Ideally, a perfect profile description is between 5-7 sentences, a sentence being no longer than 20 words. Don’t describe your appearance; your photo does that. Don’t say that people find you attractive: we will be the judge of that. Don’t list every single hobby that you love, your favorite sports teams, and what you like to do at lunch. We like a little mystery, and you want us to inquire, right? So give us a little of what we want, enough to make us curious: What do you want a woman to know about you first? Do you like to party or are you the calm quiet type? What do you do for a living? Where do you see yourself in the future?

6. You like to flirt, but won’t commit.

I think most dating sites have the flirting option, where you can “beam a smile” or “wink” at someone. It’s a way of saying “I think you’re interesting, but I’m too scared to send a message.” I get it, no one likes to be rejected, even if it’s online. But we’re much more likely to respond positively if you write a little message and ask us a question. It really helps if your message is a cute one.

Online dating is tough. First impressions are so important, or we’ll just browse to someone else, even if you are a great guy.

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Comments 98 comments

Dane Gulotta profile image

Dane Gulotta 8 years ago from Colorado

Good guidelines I'll make sure that I follow them. I would add that the photo needs to be a recent photo. Not the one from 10 years ago when they were still playing college sports. I've had female friends tell me stories about meeting guys that had pictures with full heads of hair, but whern they met in person the guys were bald. Did they think they wouldn't notice?


john marraffa 8 years ago

Did they change the spelling of grammar, item number one faux pax???? Or I get it, you start the sentence with a lower case then misspell grammor.


squirrellgirl 8 years ago

All I can say is Yikes! It's no wonder we sometimes get a bad rap from men. After reading your over the top, condescending guidelines for men on "how to post their profile" I was exhausted! Sure am glad you included that disclaimer!

Stop the madness!


Mimi 8 years ago

OMG! Re-read that first sentence...it's FULL of both spelling AND grammatical errors.


Matthew 8 years ago

"1. you don't capatlize when you right your message and use bad grammor."

I stopped reading after this sentance...it's "write" your message, and again...the spelling of the word grammar.

If you are going to preach, make sure you apply the practice as well dear...


Patrick 8 years ago

John Marraffa- You are the MAN!!! Excellent call. And just for the record it's called dating. I like to smoke and drink too much on a first date so she doesn't get the wrong message. Have a nice day.


Mimi 8 years ago

Oh for heavens sake, am I the only person who recognizes the humor in the first sentence? In case you were wondering...this would be a classic case of sarcasm. Dictionary.com definition: a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark.


Jerry 8 years ago

A couple of commenters didn't get that she misspelled and made grammatical errors to prove a point....now do you get it? Judging by the reactions, I guess she made her point.


John  8 years ago

The first statement was being sardonic. I can't believe how many people fell for it, haha.


Dan 8 years ago

Hey there, besides the obvious grammatical mistakes I do believe the author made some genuine efforts in communicating to the general public (especially the gentlemen) on how to best approach the concept of making your "first impressions" better. I for one applaud the author. Thank you for your insightful gestures.


Troy 8 years ago

Is it really a problem with women when I'm trying to describe myself by starting sentences with, "I" or is this person just just a little too picky. Can you say, "High Maintenance"


Mimi 8 years ago

It just requires more imagination and creative use of the English language to not use excessive "I" or "Me" statements. Here's an example: Opening night of a "mind freak" psychological thriller is a great way to spend an evening." :-)


beth 8 years ago

Boy, no wonder online dating is tough - dating in general, for that matter. Matthew and Patrick, don't you understand that Mimi was trying to show what NOT to do? What a couple of idiots.


Ben_dover 8 years ago

yeah i don't get how so many people are too stupid to not get that the first sentence was just a jowk haha.. btw its mostly about personality when it comes to online dating ofcourse after the woman decides if you look good enough haha..


ZZ TOP 8 years ago

Okay, whoever the hell wrote this so-called article has their head A LONG WAY up their ass, I mean jesus christ she said "don't list what you do at lunch". Uh.....HELLLLLLOOOOOOO!!!!! What the fuck do you THINK everyone does at lunch???!!! UHHHH........EAT!!!???!!! OF COURSE people wouldn't put what they do at lunch!!!!!!!! Do you REALLY think we're all THAT BORING AND STUPID??!! Oh yeah, and just a reminder............don't write about the time when you flushed the toilet and plugged it after putting too much toilet paper in it right before you had to leave, and came home to find shit all over the floor !!!!! No, no.... we didn't already know that ahead of time or anything, no....no.


Mimi 8 years ago

What a great comment (and joke) Ben! Of course, I may not speak for all women, but looks are rather secondary in nature. Honesty, respect and a sensational sense of humor goes much further than a pretty face. Of course, for those who miss the subliminal: honesty would include honesty in a recent and true representation of yourself i.e.: photo.


Mike 8 years ago

No wonder online dating is tough: three people who've responded to this article must think irony is an adjective describing something with a high percentage of ferrous metal in it.


Pravin 8 years ago

A good attempt but marred by all the punctuation and grammatical mistakes, but surely a few points worth noting atleast for first timers if not for veterans and seasoned daters.


Jerry 8 years ago

I take the advice as trying to be helpful. I bet we all judge potential dates by unreasonable criteria sometimes before we know them. As for the author's advice, better to understand what we're dealing with than to ignore reality...


Mimi 8 years ago

Well said, Mike! :-)


ETrain 8 years ago

The reality is, unfortunately, that more and more women nowadays actually want to have better grammar than the men they date. Men with better grammar/command of the English language are treated with contempt. Has any man reading this ever attempted to correct the grammar of a girl they were dating/courting? Quickest way to be kicked to the curb, 'methinks'.


Jerry 8 years ago

Wow, ZZ...That sounded like some unresolved road rage. Relax....


Mimi 8 years ago

ETrain, do you really find this to be the case? High command of the English language is critical for both men and women, equally. Otherwise, exchanges of all kinds would become stagnant and tiresome.


cinderella 8 years ago

I like it. It seems like a pretty long list for someone to have to follow when he's just starting out, but in reality, this are all definitely things that turn me off on online dating sites. And what about the turnoffs for men?


Todd 8 years ago

She can't even spell grammar correctly and she's lecturing about spelling!


Mimi 8 years ago

Todd...do you recognize SARCASM? Or as John eloquently stated SARDONIC statements? Do you know the definitions of these words?


kingoz 8 years ago

It is funny that you say that you need to capatlize the first word of the sentence. When women that write me do not. They also lie about their weight too. I am tired of women saying they are average and are really over weight.


Jerry 8 years ago

Mimi, I'm glad you get it...some of these people can't even spell SARCAZZUM....


Les 8 years ago

I suppose this is good advice, but it all this seems blatantly obvious, to me. Oh well, I guess Claude Shannon was right, there is little information to be had in the plain and simple.


shield3333 8 years ago

I got into this particular yahoo function just long enough to say that online dating is so superficially based that it is not worth the effort. One on one reality is the only way to make it work. Sorry, but technology is not a short cut to real relationships. I played around with it just long enough to see that. Of those who were really attracted to me, and I had a few that passed my own muster, (hypocritical though that is), I just went into a few of my own background stories, (the ones that would spook the susie creamcheese types, even though they were decades ago, and I said that, too), and realized that the facade that you jhave to maintain, when online, defeats the purpose, BEING REAL and finding someone who is able to accept you as your history makes you. I have a maturity that living an occasionaly tough life has given me. Shallowness bores me. Therefore, online dating services have to bore me. Just for the record, I got the sardonic reference, without needing to refer to someone else's comment..


Ryan 8 years ago

Here's some advice...don't date online you loser


Jack 8 years ago

We must have a lot of idle time on our hands.


lisa 8 years ago

you spelled grammar wrong up top, its spelled incorrectly as grammor, worry about yourself lady and take a spelling course


Pete 8 years ago

Hey KINGOZ, when women say they are average and they are overweight, they are not lying, don't you relize that the average woman is overweight...? and the ones that are not either don't need to do the online dating or are way too picky (you have to look like Brad Pitt and make over $75K...) oh and they are very modest...!


Steve 8 years ago

It's funny. One of the pieces of advice is that you should type out a message instead of giving a "wink" but I guess what most women don't realize is that MOST of these websites charge men when they send messages instead of winking. So, every time a message is sent and you don't get a response it costs money and there are a LOT of women that won't even respond.

If you wink and get a response, it's worth it to type the message. If you wink and don't get a response the woman is obviously too stuck up to waste your time on anyways. So don't waste your time or money.


jimmie 8 years ago

average = fat, full head of hair = balding, leisure drinker = drunken, get it

good grief, does "you schmucks" sound familiar?


......SARCASM.... 8 years ago

People, please calm down. I bet I am younger then most of you, and sure I don't always check my grammar, but get with the program it was considered "SARCASM". People need to read the comments posted by others before they go and post their own. I knew off the bat that it was sarcasm and i still read the comments, some were nice, some bad, and some just realy sad. I am being honest here people I do not like it when you do not read all the information, and assume that it is something else, an example: A teenager needs to read 'The Lord of the Flyes' during summer for English class. The student reads a few pages and decides that the book is to boring to read and decides that they are going to spent summer having fun rather then read the book and understand it. So three months later, sometimes less depending on school district and semesters, the student goes to school and has a test the first day, guess what?, its on the book they didn't read. So as the student takes the test they decide that they are going to try and use the very little knowledge that they have, not all are this way, and make up something that sounds good. So they get their test back in the next couple days and freak out on how bad their grade is, at the top of the test the teacher wrote a note saying quote ' Try reading the book next time, no one was killed by a giant fly called The Lord'. If you understand my rambling then I am very happy you took the time to read this, if not you need to slow down and learn to read all the information on your screen/paper/in your book or your not going to make it in the world. I have seen some people say some very rude thing because they did not read all the information they were given, or understand the knowledge that was hidden in the information. Im sorry I am still rambling. If I seem rude to anyone I apologize, and did not mean to harm anyone. I just meant to state the facts. So please read all the information given to you the next time you read something, it will save other people a lot of time spent on correcting your mistakes, and save you the emmbarressment of making that said mistake. I thanks you again for reading this comment and I compiment the author of this page for trying to help people, even if some of those people do not appreciate your help or do not understand it.


cazman 8 years ago

if a woman wants to have sex, she will have sex no matter what the picture looks like or what your profile says about you. Period!


Jen 8 years ago

Vital---WTF??

Lisa, you can't be serious. Did you not read the previous comments before you posted yours?? SEVERAL people have already pointed out that the author mis-spelled the word on purpose--it's called "sarcasm"--do yourself a favor and look it up before you embarrass yourself again.


who cares 8 years ago

What does it matter go online have fun follow these rules or not. Just enjoy it, I suggest going and making 2 profiles one following her advice the other not and see where this gets you. This way you can all quit complaining and know if it works or not.


bigjohnweh 8 years ago

Jesus, with such guidelines you wonder why you are looking online when there are plenty of places to meet ppl with similar interest in real life, I would suggest an o.c.d. group class for you (obsessive compulsive disorder)


cazman 8 years ago

just give it up, everybody has their own way of hooking up with females.


ace 8 years ago

What a pain in the ass!! It's unbelievable that people make itto the altar and/or living together!! Allo the firggin games, 'expectations' and unknown test to pass! Is anyone woman out there just a real person looking to meet another nice real person? Or are they all superficial?

Biggest turn off for men:

Having all these rules and regulations about attracting women and having to kiss their ass.


ace 8 years ago

Hi Pete and Steve

Great Points! Very True!!


Steve 8 years ago

Don't worry Ace. There are just as many web articles telling women rules about dating or approaching men which are just as stupid and make things even more difficult for people to meet online. Oh, btw, hi to you too.


The Batman 8 years ago

I think you people need to just relax nad see this for what it is: a little helpful how-to on how to avoid some common mistakes on the Net. I find it somewhat helpful; remember, folks: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! You can never learn too much about ant one ting; i.e.: life itself is a constant learning experience. What you choose to do or not to do with that experience pretty much determines your chances/rate of success in any endeavor that you may choose to focus your energies on at any given moment. In my own personal, humble opinion, I myself file away any information I may come across at times in the ol' brainpan, because there have been times on down the road that what I thought was useless drivel in some cases turned out to be just what I needed to solve some problem that baffled me at the moment, but at the time I first acquired said knowledge at first didn't seem to be of any consequence at the time. THE MORAL OF THIS LITTLE PARABLE: Don't be so quick to judge a book(or, in this case, information,) by its cover!


davey 8 years ago

Holy cliches batman!


shiv 8 years ago

if women wants a sex in tht time how thy bahave


Steve 8 years ago

Sorry Batman but too much knowledge CAN be a bad thing. Especially when that knowledge is bad advice. If you really think ALL knowledge is GOOD knowledge, you are more naïve than I am (which is pretty naïve, if you ask me). As you can see from a lot of the posts here in reaction to this article, knowledge can be misinterpreted as well as being just plain misleading. So, sorry, knowledge is not always a good thing.

Now, with that statement, I must say that I don't disagree with the whole article. Just the wink vs. message end of it.


Dan 8 years ago

Sheesh what's to disagree with might has well have added:

- Don't mention your criminal record

- Close ups of gang tatoos are not going to help

and

-A reference for your mother is not impressive.

but Steve, its understanable but if truth is known it does not get any better...if you're too cheap to risk the cost of a message for her, its not exactly to make her feel all valued and desirable is it?


Dan 8 years ago

oops and i see a few typos in my message, oh shoot, single forever!


Steve 8 years ago

It's not about being too cheap to message one woman. It's about MANY women who don't even respond to messages let alone to tell you they're not interested. I'm not gonna tell guys that they should send a message out EVERY time they're interested in a woman because 90% of the time that woman isn't going to respond. So, it's about wasting money on them, not about being cheap with the one woman you end up with. If a woman is interested, they should respond to a wink and then find out if the guy is interesting. A woman should not only respond if you pay to contact her. That only implies that she is something else.


Dan 8 years ago

Steve I don't disagree with what you're saying, but that falls into the "life is not fair" category. Hope I'm wrong, but we are all just giving eachother the benfit of our percieved wisdom right?


yeah right! 8 years ago

i met a great gal from s.a. online by commenting on a joke of mine on ablog. her comment was "bummer". in the context of the joke, bummer was hilarious. we plan to meet and run a b&b in america in the midwest perhaps.

i spose this is a cinderella story. im glad im in it. we don't care if the grammor or speeling is for shit. weer hookt on fonics! go figger!


B- 8 years ago

Responding to your point number 1. You spelled "grammar" as "grammor". Come down kid ego.


Barbi 8 years ago

Hey there and good comments Steve, Pete,Troy...high maintenance is a question/concern, understandably so,AND i don't like that it "groups" women--AT ALL!--No help there! In my opinion,which will be cut, chopped, chewed and spit out shortly I'm sure...getting to know a person is JUST THAT! Shit, if it's based on typing skills???? Yeah, it's great if you can read the person's profile--capitalization, now c'mon! AND i agree with the cost thing; guess that makes me 'not worth it' as well, huh Dan? Ace...good comments as well.

Sorry ladies, we are ALL, male & female online together...if you don't like the typing or spelling pick from the other 1,000 matches you MAY NOT receive if you're so damn picky!


Ryan 8 years ago

lord of the flyes? really? the grammar natzi spelled flies wrong? that's like a 2nd grade word...maybe if you spent less time writing retarted articles you could work on your spelling a little bit...that's not even a typo, just really dumb


gimme a break 8 years ago

1. you don't capatlize when you right your message and use bad grammor. - ahhh yes that's what i want someone who is gonna concentrate on the little things especially when I get them wrong...gimme a break

2. Your profile photo(s) leave(s) a lot to be desired.- Hey come on why not just write no uglies need apply...gimme a break

3. You begin every sentence with “I” - I wish you'd gimme a break

4. Showing embarrassment/inexperience about dating online.” - That's right, its not a heartfelt expression, its an insult... as its all about you...gimme a break

5. You bloviate. - You are a total pseud- gimme a break

6. You like to flirt, but won’t commit. -what do you want my social security number?.gimme a break


Barbi 8 years ago

Good points 'gimme a break'...........LOL at the social security # part.

Some people give "love" a bad name (rap) shit, did i spell that wrong?! And, i don't always use lady-like english/language--I'm a lil rough around the edges type girl at times, yet i can dress up VERY NICELY and go out on the town too....so what does that make me? Split personality?! Heck no! A bartender from years ago....! And, whoever said something about not judging a book by it's cover, AMEN! Haven't we ALL had bad times in life--if you're saying not? 1)you're very blessed and fortunate! -or- 2) you're just a liar!

Ok, who stuck the quarter in me? How the HELL did i find this page/article?!?!? LMAO


Steve 8 years ago

Actually, Dan, nobody here is imparting any wisdom. It's all personal opinion and comes down to advice. Wisdom is wise and that's not to be found here. My point is that advice should make things easier not more difficult. But this piece of advice that this columnist gave out is erroneous. It not only suggests to guys that you should only message women and never wink, but it suggests to women that they shouldn't reply to winks. Personally, I ONLY send winks until someone winks back and then I send a message. It works for me. And I am not telling guys that this will work for everyone but it's more about encouraging women to respond to winks. You never know if you find an interesting person behind that wink.


echo1alpha 8 years ago

I can't believe how many people are actually upset about her grammer. It is purposefully done this way. The ones who are upset probably need the extra help. And yes, I would have to agree with her article...although extremely brief. Blogs...fine, we tend to abbreviate our words, shorten sentences and well...just don't type the way we should. We are lazy. We want to get our msg. or whatever else we want to say out there as quick as possible. HOWEVER, when you are looking for a potential mate, you should definitely take the time to create your profile right. Just for the record...The title should be something about online dating profiles, not online dating turnoffs.........just a thought.


Dan 8 years ago

Steve I was being ironic about the wisdom thing... I do see your point on the winks thing.. but heres the question I have..lets say for a moment messages are free. so a woman gets 70 messages 50 are winks and 20 are text based, whos she going respond to first?


futhermucker 8 years ago

goddamn


pffft 8 years ago

goddamn is right.. that's 5 mins of my life I wont get back


Steve 8 years ago

If the messages are free, then a guy should take the time to type out a message but most dating websites don't have free messages. That's my point. If your going to make advice like that, then you have to preface it with the statement that "on a website that doesn't charge for messages..."

Then, I wouldn't have had a problem with that piece of advice. But there was no preface so the advice was bad. Oh, and sorry I didn't pick up on your irony, it wasn't as obvious as the sarcasm that so many other people didn't pick up on from the columnist.


echo1alpha 8 years ago

By the way...ANYBODY WHO MAKES A STUPID A$$ COMMENT ABOUT THE WORD "SARDONIC"....PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO LOOK IT UP FIRST. AAAANNNNDDD....FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW, it is another word for SARCASTIC, JUST A LITTLE HARSHER THAN SARCASTIC.


Kind of Old Guy 8 years ago

Yes, you have to join a dating site to get free messages - what $20 bucks a month for six months breaks the bank? I have found that if you read a person's profile and think about what the person (in my case reading a woman's profile) actually says, you can get a sense of the person. Along with a picture, it substantially narrows the field. This is an odds game, the more women you meet the sooner you find someone you really like.

Advice aside, if typing grammar does not matter to you it will not matter to her - to each his own said the old lady as she kissed a pig.


Kind of Old Guy 8 years ago

Yes, you have to join a dating site to get free messages - what $20 bucks a month for six months breaks the bank? I have found that if you read a person's profile and think about what the person (in my case reading a woman's profile) actually says, you can get a sense of the person. Along with a picture, it substantially narrows the field. This is an odds game, the more women you meet the sooner you find someone you really like.

Advice aside, if typing grammar does not matter to you it will not matter to her - to each his own said the old lady as she kissed a pig.


Steve 8 years ago

Actually, Kind Old Guy, you are wrong. There are websites that you pay for messages. You are allowed to wink as much as you want but you purchase credits which are then used at 5 credits a pop. So, it makes it harder to send out messages because each message costs. So, again, you are addressing one particular website. Not all websites are the same. It's not about how much money it costs. It's about the fact that most women don't respond to messages so it is better to wink to find out which women are actually interested in getting to know someone rather than waiting for Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise to message them.


mike 8 years ago

Some of that's true, but most of it sounds like BS from a stalker

In the past 2 years that i have had my computer ive had more girls contact me then any time in my life (i have stupid pictures up and all that good stuff)

Im not trying to sound rude but don't you think its better to show a girl your soul and skip all that crap ,But that's just my personal preference


Dunk 8 years ago

In number 1 about grammer you said right instead of write


me 8 years ago

this sucks


ben 8 years ago

You morons, she intended the mistakes.


mandyyy 8 years ago

haha just use myspace. as lame as it may sound, free profile, pictures & unlimited, that's right, unlimited messages. don't be silly, if you're going to spend your money to meet people, at least goto a bar or something. personally, there, that solves that problem.


blissfulvibe 8 years ago

Regarding the article: All right already, she messed up on the spelling; Yes, that is inexcusable. Now give it a rest. The article had merit. It dealt with issues that I come across every time I look at profiles and e-mails. I believe the biggest faux pas men or women do after they meet is that they become presumptuous. It turns me off when you hardly know the person and they presume what you would or would not like. When they want you to meet their relatives or friends before they have gotten to know you, it tells me that they are desperate or that they are showing you off as some kind of a prize. When they hang on you and want to do EVERYTHING together, it means they are insecure. These are signs that you are entering into a co-dependent relationship. Yikes!!! I am an old gal and I can tell that old man, (back 4 comments), that I would NEVER correspond or contact anyone with poor grammer, grammor, gramar, grammer, grammar. I don't even accept the U.S. spelling of grey and gray. For God's sake, what is the English language coming to; Or, where is it going. That's rhetorical; We know where it's going. Look on a crayon people!!! No wonder no one can spell, most people can't even speak properly.


mandyyy 8 years ago

hahaha if you feel the need to date online, just use myspace. as lame as that sounds, free profile, pictures, and unlimited, yeah that's right unlimited messages! lol don't be silly if you're going to spend your money to meet someone, at least goto a bar or something. there, problem solved.


%$@! 8 years ago

sorry, didn't mean for two of the same posts.. my computer is a POS, froze, and i didn't think it went through. APPOLOGIES =]


blissfulvibe 8 years ago

Her #1 sentence is her number one issue and that is why she has not capitalized and why she purposely misspelled the words.


john 8 years ago

don't give the unintelligent recognition. let them think they are correcting someone, it makes them feel smarter than they really are.


casual_observer 8 years ago

You people are all very ignorant. Now I know why our country and civilization in general are going to hell.


kingoz 8 years ago

Pete average means 10 to 20 pounds over weight not 100 to 150 pounds. Their are good looking women of all sizes online. You can`t start by lieing. It will be clear that you are when you meet or see a real pic. I`m not looking for a barbie doll, but I don`t want a girl that is 300 pound trying to tell me she is average. Lets be real we all lie a little, but you got to be in the ball park not the size of the ball park.


pgrundy 8 years ago

Wow. I was just looking through new hubs and found all these comments--my god!

I met my spouse at an online dating site and my daughter met her husband at the same site. They've been married a year, we are going into our fourth year. You meet all kinds of people at these sites. Some lie, some don't.

i didn't really find it any weirder than meeting people in 'real' life. In fact it was better in some ways because I got time to get to know people by e-mail before meeting them, so I already had a sense of what they were like no matter how they looked.

Maybe I'll do a hub on this too. Obviously y'all have strong opinions about it!


CaseyE 8 years ago

Oh my gosh. Completely agree with No. 1. It is my biggest pet peeve. Sounds judgmental but if the guy can't type or spell, I'm not going to date them ; )


Blue Crow profile image

Blue Crow 8 years ago from Yorkshire

What if they have dyslexia or learning difficulties? Are you going to disregard their worth because of a spelling mistake? Especially as there are so many in your own hub.. but I don't judge you for that. Who am I to judge you? A question you could apply to your life.

I don't do dating sites anymore simply because of the lying f*kwits who go there looking for a quick lay, arent' who they say they are and milk you dry. The last one took me for a total fool and £20k...I have to take responsibility for my own part in this, as painful as it is.

You have inspired me to write my own hub about this experience - thanks =o)


02SmithA profile image

02SmithA 8 years ago from Ohio

Goodness. This one has gotten a lot of commenting! Interesting viewpoints!


Diabetes123 profile image

Diabetes123 8 years ago

I think for such things there is always luck factor, which we can't deny.

Anyways, good article.


solarcaptain profile image

solarcaptain 8 years ago from california

You got a bad rap here, but you made the ultimate fo paw. heh. You showed intelligence in a woman and that is the worst thing you can do. I personally have given up on dating. It's too difficult to go from intellectual discourse to the great clincher, when both the male and the female get nailed. That is by intellectual, social intercourse. The rest of it is easier. Any babbon may choose a mate and then go at it. It's natural for the babboon, but it's similarly natural for the male--homo sapian-erectus, that is standing on all fours and well,proclaiming superiority. Personally, I liked your article. I'm tired of reading the same old formula, such as good grammar and spelliokjg. tambien, como hay pequina sunrisa en escreetamente hoy? hasta luego todos le gente (why so litle humor in writing today? good by people, until then).


stuffulove 7 years ago

I am amazed how many people didn't "get it"....her first line was an example of what she was referring to with guys using bad spelling and punctuation!

After meeting someone almost nine years ago online who turned out to be the best person for me in my life, I can attest to the wisdom of meeting online. But also must say that I, too, was picky about their spelling, etc. For me, intelligence in a man is a "must"...and poor spelling just doesn't indicate smarts. You want to meet someone on the same level as you are so if you were a good student, you want your partner to have been one also. There is something for everyone though and that is what is so good about online meeting. If you are patient and realize that everyone is looking for something different and are truly honest in your portrayal of yourself, someone will be looking for someone like you...it's a numbers game. Even though it seems like it from what most people say, not everyone is looking for a golf partner who loved reading the DaVinci Code...with a labrador and two teenagers still living at home...it just seems like it when you first look at profiles. I had good luck offering none of these things myself. Someone was happy to finally find a woman who was different from 90% of the other women my age.


Jennifer987 6 years ago

One way to get beyond the superficial and see if there is really anything worth pursuing is to use a good compatibility test. Like the one at http://www.compatiblechoice.com


dissillusionedonlinedater 6 years ago

Nice article but it makes me think why do men have to basically write a masterpiece with a perfect profile pic and perfectly pitched intro to get a simple polite reply to an email.

Lets get to chase. The reason most guys don't email and wink or smile is because they don't want to go through all that effort of writing an email for of wit, humour and creativity that would make a love child between William Shakespeare and Jimmy Carr feel inadequate.

Lets face it a lot of woman don't make much of an effort with their online dating ads or photos. They get preferential treatment on most dating sites meaning free replies or subscriptions.

When did it become the norm to be attention deficient picky female with a large streak of Misandry.


Rich 4 years ago

Whoever wrote this needs to chill out and get a grip


Matthew 4 years ago

LOL, wow, these comments are some of the best entertainment on the internet hahahaha.


Patrick 4 years ago

Looks don't matter. Looks matter in terms of being well groomed and taking care of yourself, then having Good Poise. These things trigger attraction in women, so long as the man is of average looks and above, attraction will e triggered, regardless, they can't help it.



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objessomics 3 years ago

When i helpful to get on top of living yet lately I've truly accumulated the resistance.


Derek 2 years ago

The point is that most women are just pathetic!


DoveFreexrolo 7 months ago

Look forward to looking into your web page repeatedly.

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