Online Dating Tips, Warning Signs and What You Thought You Knew

4 Early Dating Mistakes Single Women Make

When you meet someone online or in-person, you don’t expect the individual to be a future problem, rather you just want someone in your life that is drama-free. Yet, oftentimes single women invite trouble into their lives because they care too much about falling in love, getting married and having children.

Safeguard your heart and wallet by considering the following mistakes women have made when it comes to meeting their so-called Mr. Rights.

1. Telling too much about their selves during the early dating phase.

After meeting someone on or offline, a woman feels quite comfortable with a man who is still very much a stranger. She makes the mistake of telling him too much about her environment, routines, people she knows, personal things about children and relatives, where she works, her past, and much more. This is why controlling and angry men are able to connect with these tell-all types. They use what they know, to get what they want i.e.) sex, money, vehicle, place to stay, property willed to them, etc.

2. Agreeing to meet before they are completely comfortable talking to their dates.

Some women cave into the pressure of online dates rather than backing away from the person for awhile. They are hasty about their commitments to calling, writing or meeting their dates. A woman might worry a single man will lose interest, so she agrees to start seeing him while going against her better judgment. If one doesn’t feel good about meeting the man just yet, then it would make sense to put off the connection again and again until she is ready. Sometimes a disturbing gut feeling is a warning sign that the bachelor is incompatible

3. Introducing a date to family and friends as a “boyfriend” or “fiancé” too quickly.

Loved ones will ask questions, the kind a single woman who claims a significant partner, should already know about him. She rushes to show off her new find, but doesn’t allow herself to be close enough to him to experience the good, bad and ugly about him. She has no clue whether her mind, heart and spirit can tolerate this man she barely knows. Meanwhile, the family is concerned and has already formulated opinions about the relationship.

4. Lastly, these single women are all-too-willing to have sex with men.

It is quite easy for a man to fake interest in a woman who really enjoys his company and is ready to have sex with him. The feelings men have after intercourse is not the same as women, according to psychologists’ findings around the web. A woman falsely assumes that a man is very much interested in her, because he has sex, but the truth is that he may have wanted a casual dating experience.

Women feel like they need to connect with available men rapidly (as if there are no other men who could potentially be matches for them). They plan for marriage, have children, connect with their dates on business matters, and make other swift decisions. Then later they regret marrying their partners. It is always better to spend time learning a potential mate. The women should give themselves at least four seasons with their dates before announcing to everyone, “He is the one.”

6 Signs a Male Date Fakes Interest in You

For some, dates it isn't that they like their potential partners much, rather they like what surrounds them. The material goods are appealing, the location they live is impressive, their line of work is interesting, and the clothing and jewelry that they wear is also attractive. Yet, these sneaky people who claim to love, like or have some other positive emotion for their prey are more concerned about partaking in a pleasant environment then being with the people that they meet.

So how do you know that you are nothing more than a victim, another woman who is being taken by a man? One common sign is he is going to fake interest in you so that you will trust him with your time, money, and body. You may not be a 10, drive a sporty vehicle or live in a mansion on a hill, but you have potential to benefit him and for the selfish, greedy, or angry type of man you are ripe for the picking!

One. He makes limited eye contact then looks away at others who are more interesting to him.

Two. He makes you laugh to distract you from watching him too long or asking him questions.

Three. He talks to you, but he seems to be more engaged with others’ conversations.

Four. He listens to you half-halfheartedly while claiming to be interested in what you are saying, yet he is doing other things.

Five. He gives you small tokens of appreciation, but they aren't really what you wanted.

Six. He acts like he is sincerely interested in your work, hobbies and other things when he is more concerned about the money that they bring.

When you notice these signs, you will not confront the man, make a scene, or act rudely. Always think of your safety. Some of these men have criminal backgrounds. Behave politely, but gradually distance yourself from the individual. He will use charm to get you to keep talking to him. Stop sharing things about yourself, displaying photos of your personal interests, and responding to his communication. He will eventually stop connecting with you for a time, but then test you later to see if you still have a soft spot for him. Don’t give in to this slick person! Men like this usually are chatting and sleeping with other women because they know that one day they will be found out by someone in their circle, so they must always have a back-up, replacement, or a lover(s) they have been seeing all along.

Unfortunately, the desperation of many single, young women to find good men makes them vulnerable to all sorts of deceitful people.

A Good Man for a Good Woman

Those that believe they are a good man for a good woman don’t always get what they seek. Instead, they find themselves having to encourage, teach, warn, care for, and do other things to make miserable women happy. Others who self-proclaim that they are good men oftentimes are not. They are typically exposed by good women for lying, cheating, and doing other things that break hearts, bank accounts, and more.

A good man, who wants very much a good woman, will have to show that he is indeed worthy of her. The bachelor finds himself having to do any number of things prior to dating a woman to ensure he attracts what he wants. The following is a list of some of those things.

  1. Taking time to exercise, eat healthy, and learn how to relax when stressed.

  2. Connect with positive family and friends while disconnecting from toxic ones.

  3. Discipline self to save, invest, and spend money wisely.

  4. Be sure that personal as well as professional goals are met to one’s satisfaction.

  5. Have clear intentions when it comes to meeting that special someone.

  6. Define what he deems is “a good woman.”

  7. Check over every area of his life that is weak such as: knowledge of cooking, hours spent working, time spent with friends, bad habits, etc.

Good women tend to know what they want and will do much to prepare for the arrival of their good men. From working on their appearance to saving money, these women get their lives in order so that they can be a welcome addition to their men’s lives. The above checklist also describes some of the things that single women will do as well to be sure they are good catches. Some singles might have already experienced, dates that simply have too much disorder, busyness, debt, confusion and other weaknesses in their lives to be good partners.

The challenge of finding someone special, maintaining a quality connection and other dating tasks can be overwhelming. Since the Internet can be somewhat of a challenge when it comes to meeting someone online, you will need to have patience, time, and energy. Available men and women, quick to find matches, usually find themselves disappointed time and time again because they are unwilling to do some things like wait on responses and carefully analyze people before jumping into beds with them.

When meeting anyone whether on or offline for the first time, it would make sense to have some idea what he or she is looking for in a good man or woman. Some singles have a long list of needs, but no boundaries. A person pretending to be an ideal catch will quite easily manipulate the situation if he or she can clearly see that there is nothing stopping him or her from having their way in a desperate date’s life. For instance, if the good man finds someone who meets his criteria, he will have to be certain that the single woman is not working hard to be his match when in fact she is not. He will also have to be sure he isn't deceiving the woman into thinking he is her perfect connection as well. If both are completely honest with one another as differences arise, time and money just might be saved and future regrets avoided.

Are You Looking for a Serious Relationship?

Are you committed to finding a compatible match? If so, don’t give up! Many people spend a long time working to find someone who is right for them.

Single men and women, who claim to want a serious relationship, aren't always certain. This can be a real issue for some of these daters and the people they choose. Some men and women will pressure themselves into liking fellow singles at first meetings, arranging more dates, and having sex, only to find out later the dates weren't what they really wanted.

Mental Preparation

Like one who trains his or her mind, body and spirit for an athletic competition, so too does one who plans to connect with his or her match. This requires knowing what he or she wants, what the date will not tolerate, how often the single might see this person, and what might he or she contribute to those meetings. The courtship might be short or long, but whatever the timeframe, the person eager to meet his or her future partner has some understanding to one’s personal needs and wants. He or she will be certain to communicate those desires effectively when the time comes to connect with a match.

Determining Your Match

During those emails, live chats, text messages, and other forms of communication, the available man or woman is testing, interviewing, and advising. He or she is making certain the potential mate is equally available in mind, body and spirit. Is this person capable of meeting my needs; am I able to meet my date’s wish list? Will my potential partner be available to learn more about me before we start talking about sex, meeting relatives, marriage, and children? Can I trust this person and does my date trust me? These questions and more will be answered during the courtship. Careful attention is directed toward personal interests, political affiliations, thoughts on religion, and other controversial topics as well. Observation of money management, conflict and resolution skills, and many other things will also be done.

Making a Positive Connection

Serious people make serious connections. People who just want fun and casual dating experiences don’t pay much attention to their dates’ emotions, actions, and don’t care much about getting to know them deeply. When a positive connection is made, a date has proven he or she is compatible. However, if there is any doubt, worry, stress, and other negative emotions getting in the way, then it is safe to say the individual isn't quite ready for a committed relationship. This is when most singles will say things like, “I think we need to slow down. We are moving too fast. Give me some time to think about what you just said.”

Building a Quality Relationship

Those singles, who desire to start their relationships off to a good start, heed the following warning. It is crucial to invest the time needed to create a healthy bond; otherwise the relationship will most likely fail. It is also important to leave distractions out of your learning more about one another. Know that your date wants to feel confident he or she is indeed your One. This person doesn't want to have to compete with job, exes, children, controlling relatives, needy pets, and other things that often come up in conversation and take away from learning deeply about one another. Save all of the negative stories for those times when you are both completely comfortable with conversations about marriage and children. Allow love to grow in a positive, carefree atmosphere during the early stages that doesn't include: family interference, cell phones, many hours of game-play, long lines, traffic, and distractions.

Keys to Successful Internet Dating

What is the secret to your online dating success?

  • A great dating profile including attractive photos.
  • An interesting life (travel, hobbies, connections...)
  • Great conversation on and offline.
  • A willingness to have sex on the first, second, third plus date.
  • A strong desire to commit to someone.
  • Getting family and friends input.
  • A great job, nice car, and beautiful residence.
  • Other so secret I can't share it.
See results without voting

How to Know Whether a Date Really Has a Simple Lifestyle

After chatting with someone online, have you ever wondered what his or her lifestyle is really like? Sure, this person may have told you about what he or she typically does from day-to-day but is this person being completely honest with you? Sometimes people are so caught up in daily routines that they forget to mention things they do that might be quite important to potential partners. For example, let’s say you wanted to know whether a date snores when sleeping and if he or she is neat and organized. If you don’t snore and may not be very organized, there is a good possibility that these differences will become issues later. Loud snoring will disrupt peaceful sleep and a messy environment will cause arguments when you can’t find what you are looking for.

Dates, which cover up their lifestyles, are more concerned about impressing and keeping companions rather than compatibility. So if he or she thinks that it will make him or her look good by lying about one’s lifestyle to a potential date, the busy career professional might mislead his or her dates. The person might say, “I don’t work as much as I use to. I will make time for you. I live a stress free life…I don’t need any drama.” But upon closer inspection, you find out the individual rarely takes a vacation, owes money to many companies, and has family issues.

Some things you might want to pay close attention to when it comes to determining whether someone is in fact leading a simple and quiet lifestyle includes:

  1. He or she is making time to connect with you and shows genuine interest.

  2. This person rarely has much to say about his or her work, family, neighborhood, children etc. because he or she doesn't feel any significant things are worth mentioning.

  3. A date is thinking much about you and sharing plans for the future.

  4. He or she rarely rushes you off the phone.

  5. This person is often at home when he or she isn't at work.

  6. The individual doesn't stress about anything you say.

  7. You don’t hear in this person’s conversation cursing, impatience, bad-mouthing others, or complaining much about daily responsibilities.

Once a couple comes around each other often, this is when you will discover more about the lifestyles. Has what your date about his or her “simple” life in fact true? Notice how he or she talks about daily responsibilities. Listen for any new information that a date might have left out when talking to you over the phone. Notice his or her demeanor. Is he or she typically calm around you? Look around the person’s atmosphere, are there papers everywhere, dirty dishes, dusty furniture, and toys strewn about? If the environment appears to be unclean and disorganized, this person is not living a simple life like he or she is trying to make you believe. An individual who isn't busy often, overwhelmed with activities, and doing other things will make time to clean and organize his or her residence. Observe the vehicle that this person drives, is he or she properly caring for it? Check out his or her physical body, does this person eat too much, moves slowly, or looks ill? Once again, a person who is living a drama free lifestyle is going to make time to tend to the people and things he or she cares about.

Discover more about your online date from author Nicholl McGuire who met her husband online.

Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues

7 Things to Watch Out for With Lazy Dates

With so many people to choose from on the Internet, it can be difficult to find out if singles are really great connections as dating website algorithms suggest. You can’t see laziness in a photograph or read it in a profile page. However, if the descriptions are quite short and questionnaires aren’t filled out, and a photo is absent, not recent or unattractive, this is a good indication that the individual is too indolent to create a decent looking profile.

Lazy people are everywhere. Just look at the sheer number of comments on web pages of people who don’t get out much and have more time to criticize than to create. If you have ever experienced going out with a lazy person, while you are the type who enjoys working, you are put off with the sluggard who doesn’t even bother to think before he or she speaks. Then when the person does, what comes out of his or her mouth is thoughtless.

So what might you want to watch for when it comes to lazy people so that you aren’t wasting your time or money on them?

  1. Makes excuses for tardiness.

Lazy people sooner or later will show their true colors especially when it comes to being tardy. During the early stages of dating, he or she might be on time, but that might not be typical behavior. Spend some time with the date and you will find that he or she mixes up priorities. A cell phone, a music player, television show, or Internet website gets more attention than being on time for an appointment.

1. Will not offer to assist you unless you ask.

The languid individual will listen to you talk about your to-do list, but he or she might remain quiet, agree, or direct you to someone who could assist. Lazy people don’t have any desire to do anything more than what is required. They hope that you don’t mention their helping out.

2. Eye roll and deep sigh if you should request he or she helps with a physical task.

Ask a sluggish person to help you with a task that might require getting up out of the chair, and he or she will act like there is no problem. But if you are watching carefully you will see subtle signs of irritation or frustration before, during and after the task. When you see this, call the date out on his or her negativity. Say something like, “If this bothers you, I can do it myself.” Then insist on doing it, the lazy person will most likely pretend you didn’t see what you saw or will gladly let you do it while he or she sits back down again.

3. Doesn’t like to walk and will look for parking spaces close to locations.

It becomes obvious you are with a lazy able-bodied person when he or she circles the parking lot or waits long to get a parking spot nearby.

4. Will often pay others to perform tasks that he or she could do.

Simple tasks are paid for by lazy people. They don’t want anything cutting in on their entertainment time including cooking. Most slothful people don’t know how to cook.

5. Often tired and will rarely plan activities.

A lazy person who has done nothing all day but eat, sleep, and talk doesn’t want to bother with doing anything else.

6. Avoids cleaning and organizing his or her environment unless it is necessary.

When an individual who spends most of his or her free time being idle knows that relatives and friends might be visiting their residence or riding in a car, he or she will make sure the environment is kept. However, many lazy folks will enlist the help of others.

Checklist When Selecting an Online Dating Website...

Registration/Sign up
Features
Cost
Terms and Conditions
Easy to fill out forms
Various communication tools
Payment plans/Membership packages
Does site use fake accounts to generate user interest?
Quick to set up profile
Mobile access
Trial
Does site share profile with other sites?
Is credit card information needed?
Browse photos with ease
Free
Are you able to contact customer service?
Verification process or similar service
Message forums, blogs, local meet and greets...
 
Will your email be bombarded with partner advertising?
Sometimes singles are quick to join sites without considering some things about them? Is it a dating website that caters to your needs? Did you read the "About Us" section before you signed up? What benefits do you hope to receive from using the s

Dating Secrets to Being More Desirable

Are You Really Affectionate?

Some single men and women claim to be affectionate, caring and loving on their Internet dating profiles. However, the truth is that when you meet some of these people, they are far from it! These dates can be as cold as ice, boring, have personal phobias, childhood personality disorders, and more. So to save time, money and energy, one will want to know just how cold-hearted a date is before arranging to meet him or her.

In many dating profiles, over-the-phone and in-person people will share a long list of what they like and don’t like in a mate, personal interests, and other things. Look for signs that he or she has issues with the opposite sex and unresolved childhood woes.

  1. He or she seems to be quite negative about people. The dating profile sounds more like a rant. “I will not stand for…I hated it when…people can be so…pets are better than people…”

  2. The date is demanding. Listing more things he or she doesn't like than anything else. “I don’t like it when…I’m not that type…I will not do…I expect…”

  3. There is a sob story or pity party showing up between the lines of text. “I help so many people but…I really wish that…I need help…I hope someone would…”

  4. He or she sounds emotional in how this person describes his or herself using words like, “I can be a real…I really love…I like so much…I am such a sweet…I’m a good man…good woman.”

People, who are warm and affectionate, tend to come across sweetly and very nice. They take time to ask you about your day and show interest in who you are. However, some can be quite deceiving and will act as if they are caring, but it isn't long before they are talking much about themselves. Others are often quiet during communication being careful not to reveal too much. The quiet or shy person is misconstrued at times for being caring and a good listener. Listening skills might be good, but friendliness not so much. These people usually are emotionally withdrawn and feel awkward when it comes to public displays of affection.

How do you know someone is not very kind and/or caring?

  1. He or she is not friendly with others.

  2. This person doesn’t communicate much in social settings.

  3. The date doesn't appear to be welcoming.

  4. People are not drawn to him or her.

  5. The individual seems to pretend like he or she is warm in public, but withdrawn behind closed doors.

  6. When you approach this person for affection, he or she doesn't act very interested.

If you find you tend to shy away from things like: hand-holding, kissing, hugging, or wrestle with negative emotions when it comes to other forms of intimacy, there is a good possibility that you’re not the affectionate type. It will be a challenge for someone who is quite warm and friendly to be with someone who is cold and unresponsive.

Internet Dating Scams

Online Dating Exposed: Lies, Exaggerations, Gas-Lighting

It isn't what you think, you didn't hear what you heard, and what you felt isn't true either, the manipulative date with a long history of playing mind games with his or her online victims will create self-doubt. Some will describe the manipulator’s tactics as Gas-lighting based on a movie where a husband lowers the lighting on gas lamps throughout the home then pretends as if there is nothing wrong with the lighting when his wife questions him.

Desperate singles will look the other way, similar to what the wife does in the movie, because they are simply tired of being alone. They will believe a date’s explanation or validate a story even when all evidence is not there so as not to appear troublesome. The rush to be in a relationship will catch up to some couples sooner or later making them wish they had taken their time and got to know one another better. One’s strong desire to meet someone can easily override common sense and because of this, many deceivers will take advantage of the nice guy or gal who just wanted to meet someone new.

After hours of surfing the Internet for that ideal someone and many more talking to that person on the phone, when the time comes to date, you learn much. You soon discover that what was said online and over the phone isn't consistent. You reason, “I must have misunderstood him. She did tell me that didn't she? I guess I was tired and wasn't really paying attention. I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable so I won’t ask. It isn't any big deal, we all have our skeletons.” If you find yourself having any self-talk like this when it comes to meeting an online date, then you are already in trouble.

Liars have a way of getting you to believe almost anything. If they suspect that you are on to their lies, cover-ups, exaggerations, and more, they will act as if you are mistaken. “I told you that. You must have forgotten. That’s not what I said, what I meant was…you must have heard me wrong.” the manipulator says.

One way to combat against a deceptive person’s strategies is to remain firm in your beliefs. Don’t be fearful of a disagreement. Avoid the temptation to worry about how you might look disagreeing with a date. If you feel this sort of negativity and are concerned much about a date’s reaction, chances are this person may not be right for you. Some dates have an intimidating presence, a threatening demeanor, and others are good at persuading or charming their way into getting what they want.

If you suspect that someone you have been taking an interest in is lying, exaggerating or gas-lighting you, it would be best to distance yourself from him or her. If you feel uncomfortable, pressured or disrespected when in this person’s presence, reconsider whether he or she is indeed right for you.

Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men

© 2015 Nicholl McGuire

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4 comments

dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 20 months ago

Voted up and useful along with interesting!

Much of what you said applies to offline dating as well as online dating.

The biggest problem women often have is a desire to "nail down" a relationship as soon as possible. It's almost as if many of them HATE dating and therefore they want to RUSH into being "exclusive" with someone.

Your subconscious mind will never allow you to succeed at anything you despise. Take your time and get to know people.

Every "serious relationship" I've ever had began as a "casual relationship" which (evolved) over time.

You don't want someone to marry you just because they promised themselves the NEXT person I date I'm going to marry. You want them marry you because you are YOU! "The one"!

It's should be safe to assume if you meet someone online that you are not the only one they're in communication with and you should also be meeting and dating other too! A company does not post a help wanted ad then shut it down after interviewing one candidate. Generally there is a "process" involving multiple interviews with (several) candidates before the position is offered to the one they deem most qualified.

However there are many women who would call a guy who they're not in an exclusive relationship with a "player" or even a "cheater" simply because he actively seeking the best mate possible for himself.

Unless there's been a discussion to become exclusive assume the other person is keeping their options open.

Another common mistake both men and women make is making "assumptions". It should be no secret to women that men only ask out women whom they find physically attractive for the most part. Very few guys have money burning a hole in their pocket and just want to spend it on any woman just for the fun of it. There's a reason why he asked (you) out and not the pigeon toed, crossed eyed woman with the missing teeth! If he didn't find you attractive he wouldn't have asked you out.

Unfortunately women will go out on dates with men they have absolutely NO physical attraction towards. Maybe the concert, movie, play, or event that he suggested was something she was interested in. She may not have had a date in a while and her calendar was empty.

Now if a man only asks women out whom he finds attractive odds are he (assumes) women only say yes to dates whom they find attractive. Towards the end of the date he attempts to kiss her and the truth comes out. She's offended thinking that just because he took her out he "expects" to make out and he's thinking she used him to get a free meal and night on the town knowing full well she's not attracted to him.

It should be noted during the "infatuation phase" of any relationship both people tend to bend over backwards to impress one another. In fact the word "no'" is seldom if ever heard. With age and dating experience one should not allow themselves to swept off their feet during this period. It's not until after the first major disagreement that people reveal their "authentic selves", boundaries, and "deal breakers". Committing to someone before you know the "real them" is a mistake!

Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

And yet so many people will indulge in the "blame game" when it comes to the men and women they (chose) to invest their time with.

If you go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a "better shopper"!

The problem with a lot of people is they don't have a "mate selection process". It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

Odds are you'll throw anything in your cart at the last minute. These types of people allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices. They'd rather "go with the flow" than make decisions with complete awareness.

Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.

The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

It pays to research various online dating sites before choosing the one or two you join. Contrary to popular opinion they're not all the same nor do they all attract the same demographic/quality of people. Remember you are responsible for saying "yes" to those you decide to meet.

If anyone finds they're having one nightmare date after another it's probably time they re-evaluated their "mate selection process'.

Dating is supposed to be a FUN social activity. This is especially true of a first date. If people don't enjoy each other's company there will not be a second date. The goal is to establish rapport and see if there is chemistry.

Avoid the interrogation questions on a first date. No one is asking you decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. It's just a date!


nmcguire7 profile image

nmcguire7 20 months ago from Los Angeles County Author

Well said! Bravo! Thank you so much for adding your thoughts.


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 20 months ago

Thanks! I love your writing style!

The online dating scam video was very funny too! :)


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 20 months ago

A very thoughtful and heartfelt piece. Vote up.

Mostly I think people need to be honestly about what they really want.

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