What action has your wife or husband done with good intentions but in the end caused major disaster?
Bought me stuf off the clearance rack for Christmas and my b-day
He tries to help me with chores around the house, which I completely appreciate, but he doesn't always do a good job.
A recent Example:
It's Christmas time! Exciting and stressful.... I purchased a picture for my mom for Christmas. The store packaged it up in bubble-wrap really nicely, however, I still needed to gift-wrap it.
While I was sitting over the dining room table (Gift-wrap central) contemplating how to wrap this picture covered in bubble-wrap without making it look bumpy, my wonderful husband tells me he'll take care of it. He comes back about 30 minutes later. He took the picture out of the beautiful bubble-wrap job the store had done, wrapped it in parchment paper, cut the bubble-wrap in strips and taped that to the outside, and put the whole picture in what looked like a white garbage bag.
I know he was trying to help, but now I need to fix this mess of a trash bag. Oh, and I still have to figure out a way to gift-wrap it.
Ouch! You cut right to the chase on that one huh?
My husband is great at being supportive, but when I was diagnosed with cancer, his supportive nature went into overdrive...I needed to breakdown and have a good cry, and he got really bent when I did. He called the pastor, my best friend called, My Mom showed up.
I had to ask him if he really thought it was realistic for me to only have good days now that I have cancer? I had to remind him I will still have bad days. He finally let me be human again.
My husband would not remember his head if it was not firmly attached. So I usually expect him to forget dates like Mother's Day. What ticks me off is the act of getting me something and showing off in front of other people.
One year we were on vacation with my in-laws and a set of grandparents. It was during Mother's Day so I had about a month before purchased some gifts to give to my mother-in-law and her mother-in-law for the special day. I was so excited. My husband of course forgot what day it was.
It was during a tour of an historical site and its gift store that his mother asked what he got me for Mother's Day. He panicked and began to shop. He grabbed the first necklace he could find and had it wrapped.
He was so proud to give me the gift of an extremely cheap necklace that fell apart as I pulled it out of the box. He looked good in front of his mother.
From that moment on I told him not to ever buy me a Mother's Day gift since I was not his mother. Let the children when they are old enough. He has followed my request and the days have been better.
Well...as some who've seen me around the web already know, my husband and I don't have a conventional relationship. We're both very real and truly in it for life, with all that might potentially bring.
So when he was having certain problems, and we decided not to break up over it because we love each other, with the best of intentions he suggested that I seek other entertainment so to speak.
Big, big, BIG mistake. Honestly, even if you're polyamorous in principle, you're better off not actually looking for alternatives if your partner becomes frigid, impotent, or 100% fetish, or even Gay. If you want to stay with them, and don't want to be treated badly, or don't want the new one trying to take you away from your primary, *stay within the community*. Do not seek partners outside of specifically polyamory oriented/alternative communities.
Normals can never understand mateship level love outside of function. If it's staring them in the face, it horrifies them partly because they know that in order for them to be in the circle, they have to have that level of deathgrip love too.
Fortunately, my husband figured himself out, and we have a fully expressed relationship again. If he didn't though, I would likely just spend the rest of my life celibate. That was a better alternative than dealing with guys who think a woman is a slut even if she's been in a celibate marriage for 5+ years.
tried to help me save money by controlling my money caused too many fights and I felt like a child. Best intention, but went real bad
I do the bills in the household. I always put the bills in the same place. We got our license plate renewal in the mail and without my knowledge my husband decides where I keep the bills is not a good place for the plate renewal. 3 months after it was due I get pulled over in his car and get a ticket for expired plates. I was so mad. I asked him where the renewal was and he showed me a " better place" for it. If it had been with my bills I would have gotten the renewal taken care of in the proper time frame. He still claims it was a better place to put the renewal. DUH!!
I sometimes tell my children that some of the best help in the world is no help at all. There are times when they just need to leave you alone.
My husband one time wanted to surprise me with dinner. He cooked and cooked and brought out a dish that I absolutely cannot stand. I do not know how many times I have told him that in the past. Good intentions but bad outcome.
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Which means you need to act, not just sympathize.Will you contribute towards Haiti calamity relief?
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