My Favourite Church (Warning - Satire ahead. Unsafe for the Devout)
If you want a break from the mindless stuff dished out by the latest crop of knuckleheads who appear to be taking over the religious forums with reams of cut and pasted garbage, pay a visit to the Landover Baptist Church website.
It's religious parody at it's finest!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
And if you are presently unsaved, their $439 certificate of Eternal Security is a good deal. (but see small print about the $10,000 activation fee
)
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0101 … ation.html
Cheers,
Eric G.
WARNING: THE SUBJECT OF THIS THREAD SAYS UNSAFE FOR THE DEVOUT FOR A VERY GOOD REASON.
DON'T SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED, AND DON'T COME HERE COMPLAINING TO ME IF YOU ARE OFFENDED.
so it's like some regular somedy site under the veil of a church site, but not really a church?
I understand that the site makes a fortune from merchandise, adsense, etc.
Dumb like a foxThis is more me:
Though I prefer a lot more material and a lot less string.
I guess I am talented...I have both down....
Well - I've had a shufty and a laugh. 'Tampons - Satans Little Fingers'. Brilliant.
It's not just full of satire, it's dripping down the screen as you read. If anyone doesn't 'get it' then ...@Mark
There's an associated site, www.Bettybowers.com
Betty Bowers is America's Best Christian.
There's a part where you can send a good old fashioned christian rebuke to the godless. (I've sent you one )
http://www.bettybowers.com/oprah.html
From the site:
New Age "Jesus is Love" Hallmark Greeting Card Christians make the real Jesus reach for His Vicodin! Now, you can let them know how irritating their Disneyfied Jesus is to the wrathful God depicted in the Bible. Send them an automated, head-spinning rebuke: the E-buke! Just press a button and Betty & Jesus do the rest!
You can send an E-buke from this page letting someone know they are a Fake Christian -- or CLICK HERE to send an E-buke to let someone know that Landover Baptist Salvation Evaluation Committee has determined that they are going straight to Hell. If you wish to be even more pointed in your righteous judgment, you can send them a notification that they are a FAKE CHRISTIAN and make Jesus vomit by CLICKING HERE. Truly, being self-righteous has never been so easy. Glory!As an agent of the Rev. Deacon Fred, I can help you if you email me with your credit card number, expiry date, and the available balance.
We'll have you saved in no time
(And I suppose that I better put a disclaimer here to the tut-tut-tutters who will pop up and say that you should never email your credit card to anyone - especially me.)
DISCLAIMER:
This is a joke. NEVER email your credit card details to anyone. But Earnest is a Victorian, and therefore pretty stupid, and he'll do so anyway)
lol
And I am wondering why these people have not been smitten.
Eric - thanks for the rebuke, I am duly chastised.
You certainly have been.
And your hubber score is going to go down. Way down.
Look - It's already down to 99.
I'd forgotten about the good old rebuke. Might be an idea to drop bits of it into appropriate posts on the forumOh Crap! Do you think if I start another thread asking what the issue is it will go back up?
Now that, dear tantrum should be compulsory education!
Flabbergasted! Sin destroyed, by that lil ole holy ghost! I am now educated and ready to build the bloody bent church meself!!!!! No really!!
Wow. where do I get one of those
white suits.
That first video was great, but I had plans for something with a bit more impact.
He was just pushing or flipping his coat at his flock to make them fall over.
I think that throwing hunting boomerangs at them would be a lot better, and also leave a blessed mark where the boomerang struck.
Now - where can I get a lot of people who can accurately throw boomerangs?
And Tantrum: Methinks that I'm getting the flavour of someone else when I read your posts. I'll have to take more noticeThanks Earnest.
You can be the Sergeant at Arms.
(but if they've joined up under the sign of the Holy boomerang then by definition they're very smart, and don't need any sense wacked into them )Can I join? I'm a boomerang myself
When are you going to open the church ,Master ? This lady XTASIS wants 2 join in
You'll lose your followers! I bet she isn't around any more 
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