Your most outrageous religious story?
It occurs to me that many Hubbers have had not-so-positive interactions with organized religion and its promoters.
Here's your chance to shout at the devil (so to speak).
Oh yes -- if you've had outrageous (in a good way) experiences, feel free to share them here as well
I notice that happens a lot when I am the OP, Diane. Maybe it's me
I will go and check Schoolgirlforreal's thread about religious people having fun. Outrageous doesn't have to mean bad!The whole experience was outrageous. Stories drilled into my head as a child. Ya dee ya dee ya. You have probably heard the stories. The priest/nun who could not keep their hands to themselves, etc. etc. or those considered authority figures abusing their power. Some of those perceived as having power did not necessarily have intelligence or real compassion. The ridiculous ideals of sin, satan and fearing god etc. And finally, the fables/tales/stories/myths. Whatever you want to call them.
Living close to the church, going to church, going to school with the church next door and never being able to escape the clutch of the 'cummmmunity'. It is a story that I do not really need to repeat. Many people have escaped the grasp and some haven't.
Hundreds of Goofs!
I am not traumatized. I did not have anyone put a hand on me because I was lucky about how I handled the abuse of power. I am familiar with other's stories; people I knew and grew up with. However, my rant is about much more than sexual abuse. Yes, some of those nuns were a tad crazy and seemed to be fixated on physical abuse. I was surrounded by all of it until I was in my late teens. I moved away and went to school. Now some of the Hundrends of Goofs have started speaking in tongues. I find that so outrageous. The word outrageous is a good description.
and outrageous has no politcal correctness to worry about
There was this really hot chick named Kelly when I was a softmore in high school. She was in thrall to a church outfit. I went and talked to her and found out that she did not do any thinking outside of that church outfit.
I did mention she was hot, right?
They had this "spread the word" choir thing they were doing, gonna travel up northern California into Oregon singing "Jesus loves you" songs in motel banquet halls and high school or junior high auditoriums.
Did I mention she was hot?
So I joined. I swear to God (lol at that irony), I joined because I wanted to be like her, be with her, share the same mental, spiritual and physical space as her (it wasn't just empty, really). SHE did recommend it, even if not with the same internal functions as I had going on between us.
She blew me off almost immediately after we left. She was nice while I, completely with zero musical skills, rhythm or pitch of any kind at all, trammeled my way through auditions out of pure dedication.
We hit the road. First venue... we had a song with a bit "everyone turns their back--three rows of us--and sings a few beats, then quick turn to hit a high point word, then back facing the wall... a whole wave of precise rythmic spirituality.... and yeah, I was the one guy who turned one beat too early. Etc.
Kelly blew me off.
However, I was hella cool and I picked up chicks in three of the towns we went to and made out with them. One turned into a long distance relationship for a few months but, well, I was a sophmore, so, yeah, it died. But whatever. She was hot.
So, the lesson here is that following God gets you zip. Being yourself gets you making out with lovely real-life humans as part of being alive.nope and hi.
So long as a person maintains a constant practice of masterbation this shows the state of his heart toward God. Most christians realize that God is in them and in the room and during times of such practice we can all imagine God leaving the room till we are done and cleaned up. Not such a pretty picture now huh. Hell is doubtful as God is hopefully still working on cleaning up aspects of that persons Believing walk but cannot be ruled out entirely, masterbation may lead to actual adultery as there is little discipline being applied in this area. We cannot both masterbate and be clear of conscience toward God. The two do not mix. I am single and i know first hand pardon the pun. This is a more prevalent situation with single christians than married christians and perhaps idolatry and adultery of 'internet porn' play into this picture as well. Therefore masterbation is a work of the flesh and it is sinful activity which at one point (gods grace in action again) God will try to clean it up. Now if the person absolutely rebels against Gods teaching and continues to M and if hit by a truck, will die as a worker of iniquity, those are the brakes, indeed; hell i do not know for sure therefore i cannot say, as you have, i thought a humorous and semi applicable quote but did not mean to cement hell as a concrete result, sorry for the confusion, again i am being liberal in my deducement.
To be spiritually minded is to not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. This is a truism. The SP mind thinks and prioritizes differently than the carnal, unsaved or non-believing mind. The christian will love his wife differently than the non-christian, yes there are always exceptions to the rule, i do not know any, but anyway, not being married i can not say wholly and entirely that condoms are not used, i am not catholic and the christian church has to my knowledge no direct verses about that, being as i was vasectomied at age 29 i don't have to worry (dancing
lol.. my bad.
Ideally God opens wombs, there is direct documentation of this event often throughout the bible. If God opens the wombs for unbelieving sinners, i doubt it because in the opening of the womb is within the direct will of God for that persons life, outside of gods will, you get what you get, but God will work with whatever you bring to him. If i think deeper upon this, nothing surprises God, is my final conclusion.
Never for fun? How would i know i am single. As i said the christian man would love his wife differently than the unsaved unbeliever. Poppin one off behind the tombstone at uncle frankies funeral.. probably not.. a quickie in the pool in the backyard on a hot day, perhaps.. I will keep you posted as to progressing changes in this opinion after my marriage day.
sorry, not me.
your inferences are just that, speculation.
please resort to proof that the hymen is not special to God or show information that says the hymen (virginity) of the jewish female is not important.
You may claim male domination but after reading that i might expect it of you.
VICAR by definition you mean catholic.. please read some hubs instead of chasing me around you will note that catholicism is not claimed to be christian and therefore i will not enter into anything catholic. How the vicars daughter disclaims my statement is beyond the hubpages scope of imagination, my imagination as well.
Spiritual people are not sexually active like unsaved unbelievers
yep!
you are one screwed up whatever you are.
having mooted half your short and unthought post the rest can be scrapped also.
better luck next time, for luck you seem to lean on. Maybe get a fact or two and try to refrain from acting like an upright monkey with the insults.
I liked the story. Did you say she was hot? or not?
My "outrageous" story is pretty much an axe I've had to grind for years: When I was a kid I babysat the three little girls of a very religious family. They were the sneakiest, nastiest, little girls I'd ever met. I was instructed not to bring any children's books to read to them because they were only allowed to read Bible stories. The mother was in her thirties/early forties and had both her parents living. (So, the point here is I didn't think much of the way this holier-than-thou, smug-faced, two-faced, woman had such nasty little brats for kids. Of course, this woman had a smug face that anyone would want to slap even if they didn't know her. Smugness has a way of showing on a person's face.) Anyway...
When my father died (I was 21) that woman was one of the first to show up at the wake. I was composed and "reasonably fine", and this smug-faced, know-it-all, condescending, fool had the nerve to get right in my face and say, "You shouldn't cry. You should be joyous." I was standing a few feet away from my dead father's casket, and I thought, "You moron! Let's see how joyous you are when your parents die!" All these decades later her arrogant presence at my father's wake irks me. I wouldn't minded if she said something like, "As sad as it is to lose your father, I believe he's 'gone on to bigger and better things'" (or whatever - you know what I mean.
) But, for this moron to have the audacity, ignorance, and even cruelty to come up to a 21-year old (with her 16-year-old brother and 24-year-old sister nearby) and say (as if she was lecturing), "You shouldn't cry. You should be joyous." - What a moron!!!! I'm sorry. Maybe that was her religion, but it wasn't mine. It also wasn't her father. She had her father into her thirties and beyond.
Same religion. Different death: My 20-year-old girlfriend was killed in a car accident. The people from that same church went up to her mother and siblings and "instructed" them they should be "joyous" too. Of course, this was after these clowns had made a big deal, when my girlfriend was living, about the fact that she wore the same mini-skirts all the other young women were wearing at the time. They had given her mother and her a really hard time over those mini-skirts (even though their own daughter had gotten herself into some pickles that weren't as easily remedied as buying longer skirts).
Anyway, not a fan of anyone who is stupid enough to walk up to a daughter/son or, worse, a mother; and "instruct" them in that obnoxious, "all knowing", tone that they "should be joyous".
The way I see it, there's most likely a place in Hell for such arrogance and ignorance. That smug woman is dead now (I just heard recently). Oh well, hope her nasty little girls were good and joyous when she finally kicked the bucket. I know I am. - klarawieckposted 14 years ago
0I was sixteen years of age when I was desperately looking for a part time job. I saw an ad - "Looking for church organist". I figured it wouldn't be much different than playing the piano. So, I called, made the appt and rushed over there. It was a Jehova Witnesses Church. There were three old ladies sitting watching an audition when I got there. My boyfriend had accompanied me for support. Once it was my turn, I go up, sit at the organ and begin to play. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING! I kept on pulling and pushing every button, moving every pedal, couldn't get the volume on the lower register to sound equal to the right. Anyways, total disaster!!! J.S. Bach's spirit and my boyfriend were crying, I'm sure. The faces of the old ladies as I finished my Bach fugue were priceless!
How embarassing. I have plenty of church/music stories. That was just one of them, but I think I've been banned from setting foot in church. I hired a fourteen year old kid who was a reluctant catholic.
He had been working on a motor with me hotting it up for racing and changing the compression ratio.
He goes to church with his mum as he must on Sundays and told us how he had embarrassed himself with the priest when he said.
"Forgive me father for I have sinned, it's been 3 weeks since my last compression"The rest of his life story could be a great novel.
He was working after school and stealing cars at night when I met him. His parents were devout and he and his brothers had a hard time staying at home with an abusive father who had been a ward of the state and bought up in a religious order orphanage where he was abused constantly along with many other children.
I gave him a chance at a different life and he took it.
He retired from his own business a happy and wealthy man at a very young age. I gave him one of my shops when he turned 18 and he doubled the bottom line within a year.
I love real happy endings!
- Amie Warrenposted 14 years ago0
yea...i remember those 2 christian leaders...Tammy Faye and Jimmy Baker....rollin' in the dough....preaching the truth.....Jimmy couldn't keep his hands off someone...i don't recall who...who cares.....poor Tammy.......I think Jimmy stole Tammy away from her first husband too or sumthin' like that or vise versa....who cares though......poor Tammy....
the pic is from a SNL skit...i like it!
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