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Don’t act all surprised. Of course, I have an iPad; doesn't just about every house cat in America by now? (We're not like dogs, y'know, who've never moved beyond peeing on a keyboard now and then, or gnawing on a USB cable!)
And, by the way, don't act all surprised at the fully formed thought balloon above my head, either! You always knew — or at least had a very strong suspicion — that we house cats are fully rational creatures, capable of varied and nuanced thought processes. (Unlike Fido, whose sole thought balloon most likely reads 'Eat! Poop! Bark! Sniff! Eat! Poop! Bark!, etc.')
After all, I’m cool and calculating and very with it, dontcha know. I had you figured out long ago. Isn't that evident? I mean, like — think about it — which one of us lies around with gorged stomach in sunbeams all day without a care in the world, and which one of us is always sweating the vet bills, and changing the litter, and flicking half-eaten dead rodents off the back deck into the flower bed, and mending the drapes, and trying to figure out what heals feline facial scratches by the Monday morning staff meeting?
I’ve had that slick gizmo for weeks! (Can't wait to get hold of the newest iOS upgrade!) It was no big deal figuring out your password — my name, in fact, LOL! — and I had no problems ordering online. There’s no mouse anywhere I can’t handle, and the same goes for any touch screen, too. You probably still haven’t noticed that your credit card has been missing from your wallet, have you? Honestly: some times I wonder why I even hang out with someone as lame as you!
(Oh yeah. Now I remember . . . free room and board and catnip and those shiny tassels on the ends of sticks, no work, and someone to psyche out on a regular basis . . . I guess it doesn’t get much better than this.)
Remember: whatever man can do, this cat can do . . . and I think I'm going to Kathmandu!
- Have a Happy Indoor Cat
Are you tired of your cat tangling with the neighbors’ pet? Or risking one of its nine lives romping in the street? Sick of paying vets for every ailment kittie brings home? Here’s how to keep your cat happy as a stay-at-home feline. Begin by...
- Better Understand Your Cat
Puzzled by what goes on in that feline noggin? Hoping to cope with your cat and all its idiosyncrasies by trying to relate? Follow me as I lead you through lore and legend to learn more about your crazy cat. Call them what you will — cat, kitten,...
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Classic Devon Rex Characteristics by rlz If you happen to be looking for a friendly, affectionate, intelligent, good-tempered and relatively maintenance free cat for a pet, you can't do much better than a Devon Rex. Pictured above is Miracle, a...
- Cats, Cats, More Cats
Aaaaaaaaah! Yep. There's a cat there, all right. Nested within the toe-kick space, right on top of the heat register! And not too far from Little Stuffed Eeyore, in case he happens to need an occasional whuppin'. Clean, at last. And here we see the..
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Drip-Dry, the Devon Cast your peepers on Drip-Dry, the Devon (thatâs Devon Rex, to all you mere peasants that donât know your cat breeds!). Yes, heâs a cat. And, no, he doesnât seem to share the antipathy to water evidenced by most cats. In..
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- Big Rat
Big Rat Hjalmar Rattussen is hungry. And can you blame him?
At first, we thought that Grumpup was grouchy because he missed his Mommas teat.
- Totally Focused Track Announcer
of course Im focused what do you expect they want me to spit out each race as its happening chop chop