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10 Reasons Your Dog Thinks You Are Crazy
You Are Nuts
Your dog might just think you are insane. Who knows? Maybe he has a point. Have you ever caught your dog watching you from a distance and he is confused about your actions? Yep, he thinks you are nuts.
You see, dogs just don't understand things the way we do. He thinks the magic food fairy brings his food on a regular basis and that dog treats fall from the sky. It must be nice to be a dog! Most of all, some of the stuff we humans do just don't make sense to a puppy. Your dog (even though he loves you unconditionally) thinks you are a total nut.
1. You Vacuum the Floors
All day long, your dog is working hard to roll around on the floor and share as much fur as possible. He is just so generous. How do you repay him for all his gifts? You just take out this loud, obnoxious machine and run it across the floor for a while. Much to your puppy's dismay, all that fur is now gone. Looks like he is going to have to start all over again! Don't worry, you can thank him later.
2. Drink from One Dish, Play in the Other
Your poor dog is so confused. It is summer time, so he is happy to frolic around outdoors. Naturally it is thoughtful of you to give him a nice dish of cold water so he can stay hydrated. But what about that giant, blue dish in the middle of the yard?
Why is it that dish has a different name? A pool... what's a pool? Why on earth are you trying to make Fido get into the pool? Good grief, the humans are even putting their feet in it! What is a poor dog to do? It is just not cool when people and animals get into what is obviously a giant drinking dish in the middle of the yard.
A kiddie pool or giant dog drinking bowl?
3. The Bathroom Situation
For your dog's entire life, he has been trained to use the potty outside. That seems like a great idea, but what a double standard.
Do you think Spot doesn't know what you are doing in the bathroom? He is completely disgusted by your lack of good manners. Using the bathroom in the house? Humans are so despicable and crazy! He can't understand why you don't just find a nice tree.
4. Dog Outfits
Silly human, clothing is for people! After all, you are walking around looking all hairless and gross according to your dog. He loves you anyway, but he knows he looks best with a nice coat of fur. So why are you making him wear an outfit? He doesn't need a scarf, or a sweater, or a shark Halloween costume. He already looks good... no need to be jealous.
5. Phone Conversations
Time and time again, Sparky sees you talking into some small object at your ear. He is certain you are completely nuts. He never sees another person, yet he suspects you are not talking to him.
If you must be so crazy around your dog, he would prefer you keep the conversation at a minimum. After all, he does not want to hear about your problems at work. He would, however, be perfectly happy to accept a treat or two. If you give him enough, he won't even hold the whole talking to yourself thing against you.
While we are on the topic of treats, what is up with this whole "no chocolate" rule? Your dog sees you eating chocolate all the time, but yet he can't have any. Fido is pretty much feed up with the double standard, too.
Haven't you ever heard it is rude to eat in front of someone else unless you have enough to share? The same goes for puppies, If chocolate is so bad for dogs, then maybe human companions should not be allowed to have it either. Fair is fair.
7. You Leave Too Much
Rover has tried to figure this out for as long as he has been living with you, but he still can't imagine why you are crazy enough to leave the house. After all, there is what seems to be an endless supply of food and treats in the kitchen. Who would ever leave such luxury?
Your dog also has no idea why you would go to places you seem to hate so much. Why bother going to this place called "work" or a place called "school" when it makes humans seem so sad? Why not just hang out at home with your dog?
Why are you leaving again, human?
8. The Veterinarian
As far as your dog is concerned, the Veterinarian is the most insane human he knows. What makes it worse is you think it is a good idea to take him there. Bad human! Did you know the vet sticks needles into your dog? Yes, that really happens! Sometimes your dog is even forced to have surgery, take medicine, or wear one of those ridiculous cones around his neck. What a terrible and insane idea! You must be crazy to make your pup suffer like that!
In every home, there is at least one of the wonderful things called a trash can. The trash can is full of trash, which as far as your dog can tell, is an amazing variety of exciting items. There can be old food in a trash can. There could be some old clothes that smells just like humans. Perhaps there are napkins with food scraps. The possibilities are endless!
Fluffy just don't understand why rummaging through the trash is discouraged. He likes going on adventures. Humans must be crazy to have so much fun sitting in their houses and they don't bother discovering it.
Humans must be mad! They go outside, set fire to things, listen to loud booms, and cheer when the sparks fly. Don't they understand how scary fireworks are to a puppy? Your dog thinks you are totally insane when you participate in such activities. Your dog knows when something is too scary. How come pet owners don't realize they are in danger?
Dogs love humans, but they also accept that people are crazy. It is a good thing dogs are so forgiving and tolerate a lot of insanity. Where would humans be without the unconditional love of dogs?
Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle
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