Dear Dogs And Cats

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  1. raisingme profile image78
    raisingmeposted 8 years ago

    The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

    Dear Dogs and Cats:   

    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.  Racing me to the bottom is not the object.  Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.  Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door.  I must exit through the same door I entered.  Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order for kissing is:  Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.  I cannot stress this enough.
     

    Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

    TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

    (1)  They live here.  You don't. 

    (2)  If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.  That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. 

    (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 

    (4)  To you, they are animals.  To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

    Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 

    (1) eat less,

    (2) don't ask for money all the time,

    (3) are easier to train,

    (4) normally come when called,

    (5) never ask to drive the car,

    (6) don't smoke or drink,

    (7) don't want to wear your clothes,

    (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,

    (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

    (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...

  2. profile image0
    klarawieckposted 8 years ago

    So true! I have an American Eskimo/gray wolf mix. She is a cotton ball but I'm constantly cleaning after her flying furballs. Thanks for this dog/cat tribute. It's very cute.

  3. Cagsil profile image81
    Cagsilposted 8 years ago

    That was AWESOME! lol lol lol

  4. lorlie6 profile image83
    lorlie6posted 8 years ago

    Perfect!  Raisingme, I am going to print this for all the people who raise their eyebrows at the condition of my house to see! 
    You nailed it, and thanks so much for posting! smile

  5. caninecrtitics profile image62
    caninecrtiticsposted 8 years ago

    OMG that is the funniest thing I have ever read and it is so right

  6. rebekahELLE profile image88
    rebekahELLEposted 8 years ago

    so cute. and how true. I should print this out for my son.
    he has 3 dogs and 1 blind cat.

  7. rexsmith09 profile image60
    rexsmith09posted 8 years ago

    never thought like this... perfect and most polite way to tell the non-pet owners how much we love our pets...

  8. lorlie6 profile image83
    lorlie6posted 8 years ago

    Raisingme, it's now posted on my fridge!  Thanks! smile

  9. paradigmsearch profile image89
    paradigmsearchposted 8 years ago

    Excellent Post! smile

    edit: I'm emailing it.

  10. mrfluffy profile image61
    mrfluffyposted 8 years ago

    Superb post I had an asthma attack through laughing.

  11. nasus loops profile image70
    nasus loopsposted 8 years ago

    I love it.  Those quotes are so true it is unreal.  lol

  12. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 8 years ago

    I loved it!! hahahaaha. BUT my cat eats a bit more then my kids...

  13. timorous profile image83
    timorousposted 8 years ago

    Hahaha.  That's priceless...and so true.  Thanks. big_smile

  14. sofs profile image88
    sofsposted 8 years ago

    lol so true, I love it!

  15. saleheensblog profile image61
    saleheensblogposted 8 years ago

    lol lol lol

 
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