Don't mink and drive

The American mink is larger and more adaptable than the European mink, but neither species belongs in the car with you. They don't want to go to the mall and they certainly have no interest in stopping at Sonic for a luscious grilled cheese sandwich. You can help them stay safe by following a few simple guidelines.

Our panel of expert has defined a small set of goods and services intended to help you in your quest to avoid minking and driving. We're here to help.

Horrified, any mink would be, to see a namesake purse sitting on the passenger seat during what could have been a relaxing trip to the veterinarian. The thing is made from leather but many minks have built close relationships to cows as they sit together in the vet's waiting room. Do yourself a solid favor by resisting the urge to show off your Rebecca Minkoff when minks are extant.

If your mink starts to squeak, apply a few judicious drops of mink oil. This handy product fits conveniently in glove compartments of big rig trucks and microscopic Smart Cars. Your favorite mink will be conveniently shiny and well lubricated regardless of your mode of transportation.

It looks more like a colorful hellgrammite than an Empress Blue Bracelet, but your favorite mink would love to be seen wearing it. Their little wrists might be problematic, but you could adapt it into a choker or even a fashionable belt. It doesn't come in diamonds, but most minks will appreciate the Peruvian calcite and apatite stones.

Minks do get chilly on long trips to the veterinarian. To that end, a mink blanket would seem a thoughtful gift. Keep a few of them in the trunk just in case your favorite nocturnal semi-aquatic carnivorous mammal starts to shiver. We simply adore the smooth texture and shimmering appearance.

Recalcitrant minks as well as PETA aficionados will quickly get the message. Scatter a few of these on the back seat to let all your minks know exactly what is expected of them. You're the boss: step up and let them know it.

Trap of this type were developed during the 1950's and have steadily increased in use due to the versatility and effectiveness of the design. Most minks disagree, but they don't have credit cards anyway.

Mink's despise being late for veterinarian appointments. To that end, a strategically deployed designer watch can avoid major embarrassment. This model will provide hours of amusement as they fumble with the dual stem winders: a natural lack of opposable thumbs puts them at a distinct disadvantage when attempting mechanical tasks.