What is an appropriate way to handle yourself during a disagreement with your boss?
What do you do if you know you are right (and can actually prove it), and she is way off base? What if it affects your time and your pay? How do you stand up for yourself without getting in trouble for misconduct, or worse yet, fired?
You use assertiveness speaking, with "I" statements and recognising her feelings and point of view, then going on to state yours.
For instance:
"I am sorry that you feel upset over my overtime claim"
[acknowledging her point of view and feelings and showing that you have listened to her]
"However, when you shout at me, I find it hard to remember the points I wanted to make."
[Stating your point of view about her bullying]
"I would prefer it if we could discuss this more privately (or more quietly)"
[stating what YOU would like to happen]
"If you prefer, I can put this all down in writing and submit it formally."
[you are providing an alternative way for the problem to be looked at. And if she is wise, she will recognise that a written statement that possibly includes information on her behaviour might not reflect too well on her.]
Provided she wants to go on discussing the matter, you could say something like:
"I was asked to get the details of XX project ready by that date, as it was required urgently. I said that it would take an additional 20 hours of work and this was agreed. I have the emails / notes/ meeting minutes showing this. I now wish to submit my claim for the additional work undertaken."
Thank you, DreamerMeg! This is great advice! I've actually come across this type of situation more than once and I tend to be a little too assertive. But your suggestions, especially about verbally acknowledging feelings, are perfect! Maggie
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