How would you handle a friend who insults you and seems jealous?

Jump to Last Post 1-18 of 18 discussions (19 posts)
  1. LoriSoard profile image65
    LoriSoardposted 11 years ago

    How would you handle a friend who insults you and seems jealous?

    So, I have a friend. No, I can't just not be friends, because we are in the same circle of friends. She insults me. If something good happens, she points out the potential negative. If I get something new, she says, "Only the best for you." How would you handle someone like this? I usually just ignore her, but it is starting to make me angry. She is not the type you can talk to about things, either.

  2. badegg profile image80
    badeggposted 11 years ago

    I would just ask him or her if there was an underlying problem that they might care to discuss. Express your concerns to them and leave the ball in their court. If they keep it up, they are not your friend.

  3. Carynbrit profile image60
    Carynbritposted 11 years ago

    Oh boy,so i understand what you mean. I have a friend who is exactly the same. It's one of those things that can really bug you and make you want to ask them.. why can't you be happy for me?
    When something good happens maybe our friends are jealous or negative because they have something missing in their own lives,making them feel like they are lacking in something themselves?

    The main trouble is you say that she isn't the type to talk about things either,which is unfortunate because you can't get a dialog going.
      I tend to not share my good things as much as I like,but that makes me sad.
    Sorry that's not that helpful

  4. YvetteParker profile image62
    YvetteParkerposted 11 years ago

    I think that you have already answered your own question when you said you 'can't just not be friends'. You realize that this person is NOT your friend; but for some reason, you feel compelled to keep her in your circle of friends regardless of how she makes you feel.

    Now, I understand that friends don't agree on everything and there will be times that you have to agree to disagree on certain issues. But, if this "friend's" actions are so negative that they're causing you to harbor anger after failed attempts to ignore her jabs and you can't talk to her about it...Ithen it doesn't sound like you have a friend at all.

    Examine your reasons for wanting to continue and maintain this 'friendship'. Do you feel as though you deserve to be treated this way? If you do, you really don't need any enemies.

    I suggest you put some distance between you and this person and see how it goes if you two are unable to talk about it amicably. If she continues in her ways, then let your hater be your motivator for moving forward to find a true, real friend that will respect you, value what's important to you, and treat you with kindness.

  5. Tmonica profile image61
    Tmonicaposted 11 years ago

    When reading this I see that you say you can't not just be friends, but having someone like that in your life is not good for you. A friend would always be happy for you and excited for you when you get something you wanted and the insults are unacceptable. I know you said you usually ignore it but there is only so much a person can take. I would say to try and keep as much distance as possible and no matter what anyone says, don't let them make you feel bad try to stay positive and be happy for what you have. I would say try to talk to her and let her know how you feel, but if she is not the type to talk things over with that may not go to well.

  6. LoriSoard profile image65
    LoriSoardposted 11 years ago

    Thanks everyone for your input. I realize she isn't really a true friend to me or anyone else. I hate to give up on a friendship, but it may come to that.

  7. Grime Remix profile image61
    Grime Remixposted 11 years ago

    Thank you for the question.  Your friend seems to be on the negative side.  Life is so very short and precious.  Ask yourself, can you really afford a moment of her foolishness? 

    If it were me I'd try exactly what you've been doing, ignoring her.  If she makes a big deal about it then I'd have to be upfront and honest with her.  Let her know how much it bothers you. If this bothers other people then they truly don't have your interest at heart in the first place and maybe not the best group to share your time with. 

    No matter what happens I hope the situation comes to an end soon peacefully and easily.

  8. perfectperception profile image61
    perfectperceptionposted 11 years ago

    You should not be on the defense everytime you are around what is supposed to be your friend.  Leave them alone.  TRUE friends are comforting, not insulting and jealousy never plays a part in your relationship with them.

  9. truthfornow profile image72
    truthfornowposted 11 years ago

    I had this same experience.  The final insult for me was a comment about how I will never make it on my own.  What I did was to slowly limit my contact with the person.  I never came right out and said to her that we were not friends.  However, in my mind I decided we were not friends.  I just distanced myself and avoid seeing her when possible.  If I do see her, I just make sure I keep it superficial ~ don't share anything that is important to me and don't get into deep conversations.

  10. lorenmurcia profile image85
    lorenmurciaposted 11 years ago

    I guess many of us experience having a jealous former friend.

    In my case, she was the one who changed and bad-mouthed me in front of other people. It began when I was almost through with my master's degree. After 2 years, she decided to pursue her graduate studies. Unfortunately for her, she failed the entrance examination. So she enrolled in another school but until now, she still has ill-feelings toward me. At first, I was angry with her. But when I realized my life gets better if I don't think ill of others, I just shrug her off. Besides, there are other people whom she is also at odds with so I don't mind her anymore.

  11. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 11 years ago

    Stfu!!..........................................that's what you tell her and more than likely she'll do it, forever!  Especially since she isn't expecting you to behave that way.  You can't consider this tit for tat, but once people understand the nature of balance then they will begin to act accordingly instead of allowing irrelevant people to walk on them and bold facely disrespect them.  All it takes is one time and you will have whomsoever is  rude and out of order come together.  You can only be decent with someone who practices decency.  As for those who walk around acting as though they don't have a clue what they are doing.....give em a clue, every now and again, it's only right!  as well as healthy!  There is no reason anyone should accept that bold faceness from anyone.

  12. TIMETRAVELER2 profile image88
    TIMETRAVELER2posted 11 years ago

    This person is not a friend.  She's a negative in your life.  Life is always better with fewer negatives, therefore, you'd be better off without her.

  13. NiaLee profile image60
    NiaLeeposted 11 years ago

    I did have a friend like that and I only dealt with the situation 2 weeks a go. We have been through the thick of it together, she has done a lot to help and support but she is too negative and gets bitterer each day.
    The first time, she was sick and I got scared because we talk every day and I hadn't had news from her. I got worried so I called, not aware of any wrong in our relationship. She insulted me on the phone saying I bothered her and hung up on me. After two weeks of silence, she started calling me again and apologized. I was hurt and disappointed but I believe in forgiveness.
    The only thing is that you don't forgive to be wronged and hurt again. She did it two more times, the last time two weeks ago.
    I politely told her I would leave her alone and she could try reaching me when she really feels like being a friend.
    She is not a loving person at all and wonders why people don't love her or why she deals with so much negativity...she produces it herself and shares with people around. Now, I am still hurt because of the feeling of betrayal I had the first time I realized to me that she didn't have affection for me but something opposite. Her heart revealed itself that first time and then again.
    Whatever it is for her, I need to have real friends around, friends I love, who love me, I respect, who respect me and we need to be able to trust each other and have each others' back...or it is not friendship.

    Please, do the same, she is not your friend. They are good people out there who will enjoy your friendship and have your back.
    Love and peace

    1. Laura Schneider profile image87
      Laura Schneiderposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very well said and very good example! I'm sorry for your loss of a friend who changed.

  14. tlmcgaa70 profile image61
    tlmcgaa70posted 11 years ago

    as far as insults go, let your actions speak louder than her words. your other friends will see what kind of person she is and not listen to her (if they are true friends. if not then what they think does not matter). never stoop to her level by returning insults as this will backfire on you.  be a true friend and forgive her. people are usually jealous because they have their own insecurities alway on their mind. maybe if you offered to let her have something hse greatly admired (she will show more jealousy over it than other things) she would realize you arent giving yourself airs. sometimes it is best to be a long distance friend. that means dont invest your emotions in that person, dont attempt to win them over...but if they ever need you be there for them, even if they never show their thanks. you are being the better friend, let that be your comfort. so long as you know the truth about yourself and like does not matter what others say or think about you. accept yourself and those insults will lose their sting.

  15. xethonxq profile image67
    xethonxqposted 11 years ago

    If you can't talk to her then I would either write her a letter (if you're still interested in the "friendship") or I would just be blunt as hell when she does it so she gets the point that you don't appreciate it.

  16. Ana Teixeira profile image59
    Ana Teixeiraposted 11 years ago

    as i see it, you have to choices : B***H up or ignore her.
    People like that only respond to one thing... pay them in the same coin.
    You don't need to REALLY get down to her level,... but you need to make your point across in a firm way and just say "could you please stop it? It's getting annoying". You need to put your foot down. You need to break the pattern. People only step on you if YOU let them

  17. Laura Schneider profile image87
    Laura Schneiderposted 11 years ago

    This person is NOT your friend, even if you're in the same group of friends and stuck together. Either that, or it's a VERY bad habit she follows with everyone (is she doing this to others--even everyone--in the group?). You need to mentally stop being friends with this person, even if practically you're in the same group so she's there. Avoid riding in the same car with her, avoid sitting next to her at events, just find any way you can to avoid her. Truthfornow said it better, and I totally agree with her.

  18. Kiss andTales profile image62
    Kiss andTalesposted 6 years ago

    It is still humblness on your part to apply friend when she really does not fit the meaning.
    And what we usually do is ignore the insults and attacts.  Until it gets to a high level of disrespect. Even physical
    The point is it is what it is she not your friend. Even if a person does the smallest petty thing to you it means they do not like you accept the truth and move yourself from the danger zone. Just regroup with those who have your interest and care about you.
    You can not make people do what they dont want to do. It is their lost of a good person .they just may not deserve you .


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)