How do you handle a not so pleasant comment?

1. 49

   mailxpressposted 14 years ago

   Hello all,
   Maybe it's the heat wave making people short fused and irritable but I must ask.  How do you handle not so pleasant comments?
   
   In the past few weeks I have received comments to some of my Hubs.  I take the time to read them before I approve comments.  When people don't see or agree with your point of view and purposely leave a wise a_s comment, how do you handle it? 
   
   When I come across a Hub which I don't agree with the topic at hand I simply say to myself everyone is allowed to have their point of view.  I don't leave a negative comment nor do I contact the Hubber (this has happen to me) telling them I don't agree.  Leaving wise a_s comments don't impress me it irritates me.  I feel people who don't agree with my point of view and feel the need to express themselves should find a hobby.  I'm now being sarcastic.  I thank all of you who take the time to reply.

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   1. 74

      Jeff Berndtposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I rarely publish controversial articles, preferring to leave my political arguing to the forums. But I have gotten a couple argumentative comments. Luckily, most of them are well-reasoned arguments, or at least politely-worded ones, and I haven't had to deal with anyone being purely snarky or obnoxious.
      
      There's nothing wrong with leaving a comment that disagrees with the premise of a hub, as long as one does so civilly, that is, without name-calling and sticking to the facts of the subject.
      
      If someone leaves an insulting comment, you can report them. I wouldn't report anyone for anything short of a threat, though. But that's me. Or you can ignore them. Not engaging is a good way to take the wind out of some folks' sails. You can delete the comment, but that leaves one open to accusations of deleting only comments that disagree with your article (whether they're true or not).
      Or you can respond, saying that the commentor has insulted you and unless they can comment without being insulting, you will be deleting their comments in the future.
      
      Hope this helped, and hang in there. Don't let the wiseacres get you down.
      
      Cheers,
      JB

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      1. 49

         mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hi Jeff,
         First I want to thank all of you for sharing what you would do and how you feel.
         I do agree with someone leaving a comment civilly and I have over the past year approved comments not sharing my opinion because it was civil and they did share their point of view kindly and with an explanation as to why they feel the way they do.
         The last person (today) who left a wise a_s comment to one of my Hubs left a comment on a Hub about lettuce leafs as if writing about lettuce leafs was a joke.  Then they left another comment on another Hub I wrote simply not agreeing.
         Again thank you and just for the record it did not get me down but it did bother me just a little bit.  I felt discussing it in a Forum post would make me feel as if I wasn't alone sharing a feeling.

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   2. 0

      cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      
      if someone posts a legitimate counterpoint to something, like, for example, a hub about spanking, i don't mind and in fact it encourages discussion. but if someone just posts a nasty comment just to be nasty (trust me, you can tell the difference), i just deny it and don't even acknowledge it. but i do record the IP address and save it because if they come back and do it again HubPages can get involved and deal with them.

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      1. 49

         mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hello cosette,
         Recording the IP address and saving it is a great idea.  If it happens twice then report it to Hubpages.  Excellent advice.  Thank you.

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   3. 0

      Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ________________________________
      I welcome both those who agree and who don't.
      I approve comments unless they are attacking me personally.
      Attack the content of my hub and I will approve you and show you why I wrote what I did.

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2. 60

   Ohmaposted 14 years ago

   ignore it. delete it. or if it truly offers a valid point that should be considered leave it. it is up to you. it is your hub.

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3. 70

   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   It completely depends on relevance and respect level, with regards to the hub.

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4. 67

   alternate poetposted 14 years ago

   I answer reasoned argument with my point of view, the feeble minded who leave ignorant or rude comments I just delete.

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5. 68

   relacheposted 14 years ago

   Delete and move on.  It's as simple as that.

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      mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All of you guys are great and you mostly share the same answer.  Thank you all and yes I will move on.  Nice to see you relache.

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6. 86

   rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

   if they're clearly 'jerk' comments, I delete them. if they disagree and do it respectfully with a decent reason, I accept it.

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   1. 49

      mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All you guys helped me make the decision to simply not approve.  Thank you so much all.  I don't feel the comments would create a friendly good discussion.  I do appreciate all of your replies.  Thank you again.

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7. 59

   Disturbiaposted 14 years ago

   I don’t delete them.  I find them amusing.  Rude, ignorant, or offensive comments speak for themselves and are a reflection of the person commenting.  If someone wants to be an idiot, who  am I to stop them?  Just remember, nothing anybody says here, whether it be a comment on a hub or a post in the forums is going to affect your life in any meaningful way, so to let it bother you is pointless and a waste of precious energy.
   
   I read the comments, sometimes I even respond, but mostly I just laugh, and move on.  I don’t allow myself to be dragged into any arguments either.  Unfortunately, there are some people out there who are just very defensive and they feel the need to attack, even when not provoked.  Then there are those others who purposefully and deliberately like to create controversy.

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8. 62

   prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

   I received a comment on one of my hub, it said that her two year old thinks better than me, that the hub I wrote was a crap, and then I look at the hub score it is 87
   
   I just commented, Thank you very much for your comment. Parents are the model of their children so be careful how you interact with people specially giving comments, constructive criticism is always good plus citing how to improve is appreciated.

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   1. 59

      Disturbiaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well that was a very good reply and showed lots of class.  Good job.

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9. 78

   Shadesbreathposted 14 years ago

   I like to use sarcasm and ridicule.  It's fun, entertaining for everyone else, and teaches them a lesson.  Plus, censorship is rude and shows weakness.  I think if you don't really want comments, just don't have a comment box, but shutting people down, at least to me, defies the very nature of respect for human dignity.  If they choose to say something stupid that gets them blasted with sarcasm, that's a different deal.  I only delete spam.  Just one guy's opinion though.

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   1. 62

      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Can I enroll in Sarcasm 101 Shades hehe, its an art. You do it brilliantly plus you write well!

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      1. 78

         Shadesbreathposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hah! Absolutely. Can you imagine how much fun a class like would be?  Sort of like this:
         
         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2Mc7bTG3-c
         
         lol

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         1. 62

            prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            LOL, thats funny! I have to watch it twice because I cant understand British English (when hearing it) at times, and the background laughs are loud, thanks Mr Shades.
            
            Do you also charge for your students?

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               IzzyMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               LOL, that program is Scottish -no wonder you couldn't understand it when English isn't your first language!
               I'm Scottish (and proud of it by the way)but I know that our accent is a bit difficult for all nationalities to understand. The English struggle, never mind our American cousins. It is all but impossible for those whose first language isn't English, so you have done well!

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                  prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Thanks Izzy! I didnt know it is Scottish, was fun hearing it and the accent is good,

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         2. 49

            mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Hi Shadesbreath,
            I watched the video and it is a very funny clip.  Thank you for the laugh.

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   2. 49

      mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This is why I posted a question in the Forum.  I wanted help to figure out how to handle what I believe to be not so pleasant comments.  Shadesbreath, you opened my eyes to another point of view of how to handle not so pleasant comments.

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   3. 59

      Disturbiaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I like sarcasm and ridicule also, but they very often get me into hot water. I've seen some of your examples Shades and you are brilliant.

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10. 83

    wychicposted 14 years ago

    As long as it doesn't include foul language or something inappropriately suggestive, I'll allow it. In some cases I'll usually respond if there is a good response to it, and always make my responses as cheerful as possible...nothing seems to work better to tick of people that are trying to make you mad . I've had a few comments on my hubs that were intended to be offensive, but I've managed to find responses to them all that suited me. I had one to a negative book review that, from as personally as the commenter took it, I'd almost swear it was the author...someone who did not like criticism of the book at all...and there I did end up using a little bit of sarcasm in the response because it really, really needed it . The way I see it, any comments have the potential to spark a discussion, so even the negative ones are still a good thing for my article as long as I conduct myself appropriately in responding to them.

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11. 76

    Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

    As my mother used to tell me, "Consider the source."
    If the comment is coming from someone known to be sarcastic or provocative (good example: Shadesbreath),I would consider it a compliment!
    For me, I tend to accept all comments unless they are blatant spam. I thank the commentor for their perspective on the subject.
    In rare instances do I allow myself to fire back (but it does happen).
    
    In summary, it kinda comes with the territory. Be glad people are taking the time to read and comment, as this is good for YOUR Hub Score!

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12. 80

    blondepoetposted 14 years ago

    You know it really does not phase me.
    I know who I am, where I come from,I just let them fly over my head because if it doesn't sound right to me, I know it is gabble lol.

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13. 72

    waynetposted 14 years ago

    I give them a virtual slap and a mr whippy turd to the face and everything is balanced in the world!

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14. 81

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    so far still haven't had any negative comments -  but if I did I think I would consider it "small minds pass on negativity" just like in the old days when we used the phone more - and people who didn't know you felt like they could say anything, be nasty and rude etc. to receptionists especially - so I just would be extra kind, extra nice and shame them into stopping.  I think that works online as well.  Even in the forums, rarely do I stoop to the level of rude posts.  I'm so good!

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15. 71

    ddsurfscaposted 14 years ago

    for me it depends on the degree of unpleasantness.  If it is straight nastiness without any ccontructiveness to it, I give it right back to them.  If it is just unpleasant because I have made mistakes, I simply thank the person for the critisism for it is a help.

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16. 62

    brettbposted 14 years ago

    I've had a website since '95 and occasionally I've seen some pretty offensive stuff posted or emailed to me. I moderate all of my hubs in controversial areas, although I don't know if it's better just to let the bad comments through so they stimulate a flame war.

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17. 86

    rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

    I see no reason to spend quality time writing a quality hub and then have the comments turn into a flame war. comments can also affect what ads show up, and there are times I've denied a comment because a hubber wrote too long of a comment making an off topic political statement. hubbers need to respect the writer's time and effort put into publishing a hub.

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       mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hi rebekahelle,
       I never thought about comments affecting what ads show up on Hubs.  Thank you for pointing out to me what should have been so obvious.

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18. 69

    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    If the negative comment has merit, I keep it. If it's just a wiseass remark that doesn't contribute to anything I just delete.

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19. 86

    donotfearposted 14 years ago

    Well, this has happened to me twice. One person, not a registered user, totally bashed & thrashed me about my writing subject on one hub. I did not delete the comment, I thought it was so tasteless. (It's on my hub about a Polish Wedding). But of course I responded, in a very befitting way. Not with hate or bashing, but an explanation that I made a 4.0 on the same article in college, a reminder that they are rude, and  a thank you for allowing me to be their verbal whipping boy for the day!

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       mailxpressposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hi donotfear,
       
       I never thought so many people would respond to this question.  I really thought I would have a a handful of suggestions and would have been happy with that.
       
       I found reading the replies to be entertaining and appreciate reading how so many people handle the same situation differently.
       
       Thank you for sharing how you have handled a not so pleasant comment.

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20. 0

    Go Writerposted 14 years ago

    Since it your hub, you can choose to publish whichever comments you want. But I usually try to be polite back.
    
    I've learned not jump into really controversial topics because it just becomes a heated debate, and I don't like them.

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