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How do we, pitiful hubbers, get our readership?

Updated on September 24, 2011

Disclaimer:

This article is just a little piece of humour. I have no bad intentions for any fellow hubber. If any of the mentioned things, surprisingly fit on any hubber, and if he/she gets offended, I apologize for that. It is just plain humour; I made fun of me too. So just ignore everything and enjoy. Thank you!


We hubbers are some of the most pitiful creatures in this world that still exist, although very endangered. Once we decided to write online, we forgot everything else, our spouses too, but better not go there!


Every writer loves to increase their readership, but few get this mission accomplished. Script of Mission Impossible 5? Why not!


This is a bitter fact that we do not get much traffic from the Search Engines, and majority of our traffic comes from fellow hubbers’ visits, comments and feedbacks. Since, many of our pieces of crap are not worthy enough to get shared (according to Google at least), we keep sharing them by logging into the hubpages account and sharing our own hubs. Whatever crap we write; GOD we love our writings!

Also read:

SUCKING GOOGLE - A funny poem that came out of frustration regarding the page's search engine rankings and SEO techniques.


Cheap Methods that You Should Definitely Try:

There are many methods which we use openly and cheaply to get our readership from our fellow hubbers. Some of the cheap marketing tricks we use are:

1. Follow other people regardless you love their writings or not.

2. When they publish a crap hub and it is such useless stuff that you do not even read the whole stuff; leave a wonderful comment in the end.

3. How do we leave a comment when we have not even read the whole hub? You can’t do this? Increase your skills! You still do not have the perfect set of skills that a hubber needs to survive.

4. Some general comments that we use when we do not read the whole hub:

  • If it is a poem – WoW! This is beautiful. Keep writing your heart out (Original thought: Please stop this shitty stuff as soon as possible. Please!)
  • If it is a romantic ballad – WoW! This is truly amazing. Your husband/wife is so lucky to have you, a person who can express so beautifully his/her love. I am jealous already! (Original thought: You would have been divorced at least 36 times in a year, if your spouse would have known this is all what you say in the name of ‘expression of love’).
  • If it is an information or a solution article of expository nature – WoW! (Yes again WOW! This is a custom at hubpages, deal with it) This is so useful, thanks for sharing. Voted up and useful. (Original thought: Huh. I flagged this shit hu-hu-ha-ha-ha).

5. When a fellow hubber (the ever-reluctant fan of yours. Trust me he is your fan out of necessity too. Don’t be flattered with that) leaves a comment to your hub (one of the above mentioned comments) after 6-7 days of their continuous comment, at least visit their profile once and spare a comment there too (You won’t die because of this, trust me)

These are some of the tricks we often see at hubpages (Yeah yeah, we use ‘em too!). But apart from all the jokes and humor, I seriously consider our responsibilities are more than these cheap marketing tricks. We should judge each and everything according to each article’s merit and quality. Our inner soul should work on the honor system.

By the way, I will be expecting many comments like:

  • WoW! Too funny
  • WoW! I laughed my ass off!
  • WoW! I had a very good laugh. Thanks for sharing (Original thoughts: To hell with him!) =p

Comments

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    • profile image

      FlexOxypete 3 years ago

      Hello humour individualize my sites, despatch it if there is not then I'm sorry.

    • mythbuster profile image

      mythbuster 5 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      WoW! Too Funny! WoW I laughed my ass off! WoW I had a very good laugh. Voted up lol

      Actually the words I find I overuse without intending to are "great" "interesting" and "awesome" and I don't know how to stop! lol Your hub was interesting, great and awesome.... oh! There I go again! :)

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 5 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      "WoW! I laughed my ass off!" Couldn't resist! Voted up and funny, and also useful. Now I can write twice the comments in half the time. :)

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 5 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      WoW! I laughed my ass off! (Couldn't resist.) Also voted useful. Now I can leave twice the comments in half the time. :)

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 5 years ago from USA

      WoW! This is so useful, thanks for sharing. Voted up and useful. I appreciate the standard reply so now I don't have to read the hubs!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      WOW! (I couldn't resist). We are all guilty of these sins. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings in Hubland or anywhere else.

      I did vote this UP, and will share.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 5 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      Haha. Thank you everyone. I enjoyed the same way when I was writing it. It is so true here at HP - a known-bitter-fact maybe! :P

    • smartincome profile image

      Lor M 5 years ago from Philippines

      WoW! I laughed my ass off!

      This is so true but hey, I read the whole hub and its totally funny. :-P I will give you 2 thumbs up and 1 vote up for this awesome hub!

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 5 years ago from Georgia

      I'm still laughing my ass off! Really! Truly! LOL. Yep, I read it all the way through! Like Deborah said, good way to start the day with a laugh. But at the end of the day, I really like being on Hubpages, warts and all.

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Wow! No really Wow! :o) Interesting, honest hub which I read to the end and quite enjoyed, I even smirked a few times.

      We all need the community spirit in HP because Google takes a wee while before it starts to like us, at least here, for the most part, we are amongst 'friends' :o)

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 5 years ago from Iowa

      WoW! I laughed my ass off!

      I really did get a good chuckle. I'm glad I found this funny little hub this morning.

    • Shaun75 profile image

      Shaun75 5 years ago from Edison

      Absolutely right......:)

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 5 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      Pretty funny, especially since you just followed me and I came here to look at your hubs, this is what I see, so now I know what you really think. Oh well, being another pathetic hubber I guess I'll just take whatever scraps I can get.

    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Badder 5 years ago from USA

      I'll have to watch for these comments. Then I'll know I'm in real trouble. I've already caught a few that I knew they hadn't read a word. Oh well, I'd better keep working at it.

    • billabongbob profile image

      billabongbob 5 years ago from South Wales, UK

      If we only write for views on HP what is the point? Might as well give up now :P lol

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

      I'm not going to leave a comment... yeah I will.. because there is so much truth in the words :)

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 5 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      I'm almost afraid to leave a comment but it really was funny, true too!

    • Shaun75 profile image

      Shaun75 5 years ago from Edison

      Each and every point is true. i appreciate your writing and thinking...

    • nenytridiana profile image

      nenytridiana 5 years ago from Probolinggo - Jawa Timur - Indonesia

      This time I have red you hub word by word, and even I used google translate for some words. One more true thing you have written. I hope you will not comment this comment without read it first... hehehehe. two thumb for the honest hubber I have known. Bad work Hunbbel Meer! kidding! vote up!

    • arksys profile image

      Irfan 5 years ago from Adelaide, Australia

      nicely put Hunbbel. there is a lot of truth behind the humour. and following the traditions of hub pages a Wow i had a very good laugh for you ... (originally: i smiled through it).

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 5 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Sneha: Which are some of the other websites you are currently using apart from hubpages? 1,000 views with 2-3 articles is pretty good I must say. Care to share? :)

    • Sneha Sunny profile image

      Sneha Sunny 5 years ago from India

      You should add the word ..."LOL" for the funny articles....

      But I honestly agree that my hubpages articles don't get that much of traffic except from the fellow bloggers. My other accounts with less number of articles gets more traffic.... I really don't understand why it is so. One of my other accounts got 1,000 view in just a few weeks (and I only had 2 or 3 articles published there that time) whereas here it took months!!

      At last I would say...

      WoW! I had a very good laugh. Thanks for sharing

    • SweetMocha-Monroe profile image

      SweetMocha-Monroe 5 years ago

      WoW too funny. lol. Great hub!:( Seriously, great points.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 5 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Tracy: Haha. Thank you. I am glad that you liked it :)

    • Tracy Robinson profile image

      Tracy Robinson 5 years ago from Mauk, Georgia

      HA! The satiric hubber. Loved it. Gave me some good ideas.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 5 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @amynichter: Now that's something to be loved. Excellently quoted. Can't explain the whole humour thing, better than you did. Thank you for stopping by.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 5 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Joseph: Thank you. I am glad that you liked it :)

    • amynichter profile image

      amynichter 5 years ago from Canton, Ohio

      Too funny!!!! Love it! Voted up! If we can't laugh at ourselves, then we are definitely taking life too seriously!

    • joseph merlin profile image

      joseph merlin 5 years ago from Jupiter

      Wow really this is a great hub and I like it much voted up and funny.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @SilentReed: These were so called 'suggestions'. I didn't mean to make anybody try them. Because those were rather sarcastic. In the last paragraph, I cleared all the confusions that might have developed in any mind.

      Thank you for your feedback anyway :)

    • SilentReed profile image

      SilentReed 6 years ago from Philippines

      We should leave comments on an article to give the writer some feedback on his/her article. We help each other not by flattery but with insightful comments.I am sorry but I must disagree with some of your suggestions. But l believe this article was written tongue in cheek. A satire,dead pan humor...so let me leave with a final comment.WOW!!!:)

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Rehana, Rosemay50, homesteadbound, anglnwu, Magdelene, Sueswan: A big thanks to all for liking my work :)

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @TattooKitty: I learnt a beautiful lesson while working on hubpages with such beautiful and amazing fellow members as you, that quality matters over quantity. Now that I have learnt this lesson, I am pretty satisfied with almost every thing.

      I am glad that you had a good laugh :)

    • profile image

      Sueswan 6 years ago

      Wow beautiful! Just kidding Hunbbel.

      Soemtimes I read a hub that I can really connect and relate to so I make more meaningful comments. I didn't sign up for google adsense. Not interested. I do click on adds to help my fellow hubbers.

    • Magdelene profile image

      Magdelene 6 years ago from Okotoks

      well done Hunbbel, now I am prompted to go and read some of your other hubs. You are a refreshing writer.

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 6 years ago

      I was going to go wow--but that would mean a number of things, according to this hub. Well, wow, anyway, I enjoyed reading it. If only people can speak their minds and not worry about formalities....this comment thing can get really interesting.

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 6 years ago from Texas

      I enjoyed reading the hub and all the comments. My husband has been feeling a bit neglected as you alluded to. And yes, I read the whole thing. I'm glad I read this one!

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 6 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      WoW! I laughed my ass off!

      Seriously I did enjoy this hub and it made me smile because I have had 2 comments recently which make it pretty obvious that the reader did not read my hubs at all.

      If I find I really don't like a hub I don't leave any comment at all. Having said that I hope that anybody reading this isn't worried that I didn't like their hub, I just may not have gotten around to reading it yet.

    • Rehana Stormme profile image

      Rehana Stormme 6 years ago

      A great piece of hub humor! I had a good laugh reading through it! Voted up and funnnnnyyy!! :D

    • TattooKitty profile image

      TattooKitty 6 years ago from Hawaii

      *giggle*

      Your candid description of how to attract readers is hilarious! The intro (about how we forget the world around us when we hub) is so true! But remember, Hubbers- a score is just a score...writing is judged by words, not numbers!!!

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Writer20: No, I was not angry at all. I laughed a lot while writing this hub. It was just plain fun =p

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      You sounded very angry to me. If I read whatever I've been sent I always make an honest comment. If I don't like at all it gets deleted with no comments.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Randomcreative: Hi. Thanks for stopping by. No doubt that you are 100% correct that one should not encourage someone on the wrong path. Rather they should light up the right path for them and carve a path for them instead of sending them into a maze.

      And I am glad that you had a 'GENUINE' laugh out of my hub. Haha!

    • randomcreative profile image

      Rose Clearfield 6 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

      Great idea for a hub! I got a laugh out of it. Sometimes it's better to not leave a comment than leave a crappy one...

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @SubRon7: Hello my friend. No, I wasn't angry at all. Actually after writing that 'Sucking Google' (Poem), I guess that I have squirted off all the frustration and now I am really enjoying it even without getting the desired traffic ;)

      Gradually and slowly, my work is finding its genuine readership also so I am pretty much satisfied like how the things are working out. But most importantly, I am enjoying what I am doing :)

      Thank you so much for your care and encouragement and motivation :)

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image
      Author

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Sunshine625, Cousin Fudd, SubRon7, Aficionada, Paradise7:

      Thank you everyone for stopping by and appreciating this little piece of humour from my side. Your thoughts and encouragements have always been the most valuable thing :)

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

      Just WOW, ok Hunnbel? Actually, I think over time the traffic issue improves. Maybe, over time, our writing improves. Could it be? Or maybe we collectively wear the Google search engines down over time. Happy thought, that!

    • Aficionada profile image

      Aficionada 6 years ago from Indiana, USA

      Okay, I'll do it. :)

      WoW! Too funny.

      I especially like your interpretation of comments for a romantic ballad. How true that is!

      But seriously, this is a lot of fun, and I hope you do get all the traffic you deserve. Don't get discouraged!

    • SubRon7 profile image

      James W. Nelson 6 years ago from eastern North Dakota

      Hunbbel, my friend, I voted up across the board, everything except beautiful, awesome because you did one hell of a job on this hub. But you sounded a bit angry, quite a bit, in fact. I don't blame you, things can become quite discouraging at times. And by the way, anything I have said in comments on your hubs was true. I do think you have a gift for writing, but things take "time." Believe me. I know.

    • Cousin Fudd profile image

      RobertElias Ballard 6 years ago from From the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western North Carolina

      Great hub and I know what you're tallking about.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I absolutely adore this hub! Well done Hunbbel! Honest and to the point (I really hope not) LOL!

      •WoW! I laughed my ass off!

      VOTED UP/AWESOME/FUNNY!