More Stupid Questions and Funny Answers

The world is full of silly, silly people. At least, that's the nice way to say it. There are also many people who strike me as funny, though I'm sure it's unintentional. These people abound on the internet.

There is a section on HubPages (this website) called Questions where users can ask questions or request topics that they would like writers to answer or discuss.

The Questions section is bursting with humor potential. I try to reach some of that potential. Here are some of the funny and/or stupid questions that I've found, and my answers.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." --Abraham Lincoln

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hi! pls.make a poem name CRISTINA.tnx

Okay, here goes:

CRISTINA

There once was a girl named Cristina

She had friends named Mina and Tina

She wanted to see

A lyric biography

Except nothing rhymes with Cristina

To a guy which is more frightening, Friday the 13th or Feb. 13th? Just curious.

Originally I was looking for stupid requests. But I saw this request, and I have to say, this is a brilliant question. You have to think about it for a second, but when you do, it's hilariously funny. Simple, yet effective. I commend the writer of this request.

And now for my answer. We'll play a few rounds of Which Is Scarier?!?!

To the single man: Which is scarier? Friday the 13th and black kitties? Or February 13th and a lack of titties?

To the taken man: Which is scarier? Friday the 13th and bad vibrations? Or February 13th and Her Expectations?

Things You Shouldn't Do With Your Microwave

Use it as...

1. Storage for your coin collection, gun rack, or assorted metal items
2. Tanning bed
3. Time-out for your child
   

Wierd and Wackey Facts We DON'T NEED To Know

You asked for it...

Did you know...

That there are hundred of tiny bugs living in your eyelash follicles?

That most people fart 14 times a day?

That most sponges contain more bacteria than most toilets?

These are some of the Wierd and Wackey Facts that we DON'T NEED (and likely DIDN'T WANT) to know.

Is Our Psychical Effects a Girl To Have Sex With You?

I've read this question over and over, trying to decipher what this hubber could possibly mean. I've decided on the most likely choice:

Do Our Bicycles Affect Girls Who Have Sex With You?

Well, if you're having sex on said bicycle, then yes, the type of bicycle will affect the girls you have sex with. For example: the size of the seat, the circumference of the wheels, and the shock absorption of the rubber will all affect her sexual experience.

Parents, are you raising your sons to be men?

Well, I haven't experienced the joys of parenting, but I really want a daughter, so if I have a son, I'll probably raise him to be a woman instead.

What is The Real Truth?

You can't handle the (real) truth.

how can i make myself fair

Fair₁ : Use a lot of makeup.

Fair₂ : Get one of those sets of an angel and devil, one for each shoulder like on TV.

What has happened to social etiquitte in the 21st Century?

It went the way of correct spelling in the 21st century.

(I'm sorry, that was mean. I couldn't help it.)

How to get rid of parents in law

You have several options:

1. Use the obvious option: Hire a hitman.
2. Have really loud, naked sex in the entryway (although really, what other kinds are there?) when you know they're about to come visit
3. Put up a sign on your front yard with a picture of them with a big, red X through it
   

How to add java script to hubpages?

You can't.

Who is the special-one?

Neo. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant the chosen one.

Training Bra

You can't train your bra. Your bra trains you.