Recipe Hub Envy
Confessions of a Bad Cook
I have a confession to make: I am secretly jealous of all the Hubpages writers that are good cooks. They constantly post these awesome hubs about food. They are forever cooking and creating clever recipes. That is right. I admit it. I suffer from Recipe Hub Envy.
Recipe Hub Envy is a new term. Actually, I just made it up today, but this is still a serious issue. You see, I am not a great cook. If it is in the freezer, I can take it out the box and pop it in the oven with the best of them. Sure, I might occasionally burn something, but I at least know how to put food in the oven properly. I also know how to use just the right amount of baking soda to put out any kitchen fire now.
As far as recipes go, I can usually follow someone else's directions. Sure, there was the time when I used baking soda instead of baking powder to make a cobbler, but let's not dwell on that. Seriously, how could anyone know the two are so different? OK, maybe everyone in the world knows that, but I didn't. I tried my best. The cherry cobbler was... well... different. We will leave it at that.
Since I am obviously not capable of creating my own delicious recipes, how can I ever contribute a recipe to Hubpages? I want to do so very badly, but what can I do? I do have a broccoli and cheese muffin concoction I invented, but I am told it is too stinky and no one else will eat it. I think I need to keep that "recipe" to myself.
I really do want to contribute to the recipes on Hubpages, so since I am not capable of doing anything else, I will explain how to "cook" something:
How to Boil Water
Ingredients: water
- The first step in boiling water is to acquire some water. So get a pot, fill it with some water from the sink, and then place the pot on a burner.
- The next step is turn on the burner. I like to set it at the medium temperature.
- Third, you just wait. Once you start to see the water bubbling, it is boiling. Congratulations! This process usually takes about 10 - 15 minutes depending on your stove, the pan, and the amount of water.
This can all be very helpful for you if you would like to boil some eggs or make a pasta. Coincidentally, these are the two foods I cook best! Best of luck to you!
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Need some help operating the microwave oven? Perhaps you just need a few tips to help you along the way. Well, this is the hub for you!
Just Try Your Best
I hope you've enjoyed my hub about other hubs. If you can't cook well, it is not the worst crime ever. Just keep trying your best. Even if you are a little jealous of other Hubpages writers, that is completely normal. The first step is admitting you have Recipe Hub Envy. The next step is just making something up and pretending it is a recipe.
If we were all great cooks, all the frozen food companies would go out of business. In a sense, we bad cooks are helping this economy! So go out there, and continue to use the wrong ingredients and burn your food. Then you can just pop that TV dinner in the oven and keep Swanson in business.
Copyright ©2011 Jeannieinabottle
Recipe Hub Envy Poll
Are you a good cook?
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If you need some help deciding on a cute, practical gift for your loved ones, maybe a kitchen appliance is a good idea. Small kitchen appliances are reasonably priced and way more attractive than ever before.
Comments
I love your hub, its great. How to boil water is funny. Your humor is the best. Your hub page is a classic. Great job and thanks for the humor. :)
Jeannieinabottle,
I envy you too because you can boil water. :-))) Well I am not a cook good but my husband says it is edible so that is fine with me. I enjoyed reading your hub. Have fun cooking. :-)
Sorry I am one of those people who love to bake and cook and do contribute recipes on here, but that said this was so cute and very funny. Seriously enjoyed it. I have shared, tweeted and voted up much :)
Funny Hub! I especially laughed at the pasta and eggs comment: that's pretty much ALL I make. One of my favorite comfort foods is pasta with feta cheese. If you like feta you'll be surprised at the returns: 15-20 minutes of cooking for a delicious twist on mac n cheese (with less effort because you don't need to make any "cheese" sauce).
Do you know how many times I have returned to this recipe....every time I have to boil water.....as your detailed instructions make it seem so easy.....where would I be if this recipe was not out there on HubPages.
I think this is one of the first hubs that I read from you....and I loved it then and I love it now....no zzzzzs here.....only up up and up.
Funny!!!
That coconut cake in front is very appetizing :)
This is a very enjoyable Hub. Loved it.
My husband always claimed he only knew how to boil water. He just didn't want to cook!
We use to have friends that always stopped by at meal time. Once they stopped and I was trying to make meatballs in sauce. The meatballs collasped in the sauce and it tasted awful. They never dropped by for a meal again. I once made cookies they were hard as rocks my friend came over and she dunked them in our coffee so we could eat them. I still make these crazy mistakes but I keep trying. My husband swears he tought me all I know and that I could not boil water when we got married.
Your hub was great voted up.
Jeannie, I have recipe hub envy too, especially when the contest is going on and everyone else gets a chance to win prizes. I think I am an excellent cook, but somehow the other people that eat my food don't tend to agree. Hmm maybe it is my tastebuds and not my cooking skills that are the blame. Maybe I need a transplant or something. Eww, never mind.
This is really funny. All I have to say is that if I could get my recipe hub photos to all look like the top one then they might be more popular! If you made all of those I'm really impressed and you shouldn't have any envy at all. I think I have limerick hub envy. Thanks for a laugh!
And here I thought I was a great cook until I read this hub. I realized I never knew how to boil water. Oh my, thank you Jeannie for the lesson. You taught me more than the cooking channel ever did!:)
Jeannie,
What a fun Hub! Since you're an expert at boiling water, how are you at cooking boiling bag rice?
I am right there with you my dear. I have this theory that all these people who post recipes have never actually made the stuff...they just post recipes and then go to McDonald's for lunch. Great hub and thanks for the plug!
You mention eggs and pasta. These are usually beyond me. I have figured out how to toss a teabag into the boiling water, though. It only took me about ten years to realize that tea made with boiling water tastes much better than that brewed in the microwave. This boiling water stuff is fantastic!
HILARIOUS. You are just too creative and funny, Jeannie. Love it.
Impressive hub!! Kudos to you!! We all know that waiting for a pot of water to boil takes forever there is a small trick to speed up the process...place a lid on the pot to reduce the wait!! Woot! I hope this wee bit of info helps with your recipe. Happy cooking :)
Hi Jeannieinabottle, one of the most useful hubs I've read, the recipe was well written and easy to follow instructions, the photos too are very helpful, I'm just off now to boil my first pan of water! love it and pressing all your buttons.
You had me laughing all the way through this. Good Job on teaching us how to boil water.
i think in the kitchen as in life you just have to have confidence that it will turn out well and you have to take chances, experiment. Even those with the amazing recipe hubs messed up countless times before they got that kick ass recipe.
Finally a recipe we can all use, I wish I had this recipe a long time ago.....I bet this is a family secret that has been passed down for generations.....I might never use the microwave again....please post your brocolli and cheese muffin recipe sounds like a winner too...another winning hub....made me smile.
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