Can someone critique my new Hub?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (9 posts)
  1. Vincent F profile image61
    Vincent Fposted 11 years ago

    Hello all, I would like to get some feedback on my new Hub. I can handle the truth lol. I would like to make it better as I have only written one other.

    My questions:

    Is there enough information?
    Is there to may amazon capsules?
    Anything else you can think of.

    One thing that I have noticed is that it only has a score of 56. I would like to grow that number.

    My Hub is at http://vincentf.hubpages.com/hub/Backyard-Games-To-Play

    Of course any comments would be greatly accepted but I'm really looking for feedback.

    Thank you if you have time to look.

    1. Ms Dee profile image87
      Ms Deeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hi! I appreciate that you gave some specifics on things to comment on--that helps get me started in knowing what you are fishing for. smile This is an interesting hub and hope you find success with it!
      Is there enough information? A glance at the amount of text looks to me like there is enough information to read through and hold the reader's attention.
      Is there to may amazon capsules? I see some e-bay capsules, too. The rule of thumb is no more than one of these items for every 50 words. Since you have well over 400 words in your text, there are not too many of these.
      Hub score of 56: I cannot see the score of your hub, however, the score usually rises within a week of publishing.
      Other thoughts: You may not know that you can move photo capsules to the right of the text, when in edit mode and clicking on the capsule's Right Arrow. Wrapping the text around photos (unless they are big ones) means less spacing down the page for the reader. You can also do this with the Amazon and E-bay capsules, which I recommend usually be done.
      Title suggestion: I wondered whether "Games" should be the first word, since it is more the main topic than "Backyard" is. But, I Googled  "Games to Play in Your Backyard" and find that title is already used. Rather than changing the word order then, how about adding "Fun" to your current title? Googling that shows only a Yahoo! Answers question with that title (answering that question) and competes with other titles that start with "Fun".
      Use of commas: Add some commas to your text for easier reading, for example, "Besides sitting around catching up many people ...", add a comma after 'up'.
      Read through your text with a critical eye, catching also things like the missing "on" before "our camping trips" at the end of the first paragraph. Add "s" to the word 'game' at the beginning of the second paragraph. Doing this will avoid discouraging readers from reading your entire hub article.
      Link capsule: How about putting into a link capsule the link in the second paragraph. Use for the text window in it a tweek of the first sentence in your last paragraph (and removing it then from there.) I would put this link capsule near the end of the hub article (and remove "but for now that information can be found here" in the second paragraph.
      Hope this helps your hub some with more views! smile

  2. Dame Scribe profile image57
    Dame Scribeposted 11 years ago

    I must agree with MsDee. There is a lot of breaks between text maybe too much. Float your pics and Amazon to the side and let the text 'flow'. It's a interesting read though wasn't sure if it was for college kids, single adults or family and asked myself, do I want my kids to see this? Just some thoughts. Over all, it's a great article. smile You shouldn't worry too much about scores tongue they really don't serve any purpose but the scores do rise dependent on promotion, traffic and earnings.

  3. Vincent F profile image61
    Vincent Fposted 11 years ago

    Thank you both for your time looking over my Hub. I did not know you could float the images, etc. I was actually thinking that it was kind a crazy that I couldn't while creating the Hub.

    I will go over the article again looking for little mistakes as well. Thank you again.

    1. Ms Dee profile image87
      Ms Deeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I just peeked and it looks much better! smile

      1. Vincent F profile image61
        Vincent Fposted 11 years agoin reply to this

        Thank you! Still tweaking it smile

  4. Vincent F profile image61
    Vincent Fposted 11 years ago

    @Dame, I also wanted to say that I understand your thoughts on who the targeted audience is for this Hub. These are adult games to play. I have changed the title some.

  5. Norman Stein profile image60
    Norman Steinposted 11 years ago

    This is a really nice hub on a good summer subject.  After all, who doesn't want their backyard barbecue guests to be entertained with some good games.  Personally, I don't think there's enough items in your Amazon ad blocks.  The reason I say this is if a person cares enough to google backyard games they must have a party coming up and won't mind spending a few dollars for a good game, give them some more choices at different price points.  Also I don't think it would hurt putting all the best products in one block at the end of the article, since that's when the reader makes a decision whether to leave or click on something.

    The article is well laid out and constructed, I actually wouldn't mind more text on actual game play, number of players etc.. I think these points would be important to a reader.

    Now, to get your article found you have some SEO problems to fix.

    In the first paragraph of your hub you need to have your primary keyword twice, the first time bold it, the second time italicize it.

    You also need to add an H3 tag, your missing it.

    I assume your target keyword is 'backyard games' or maybe 'backyard games for adults'  for backyard games your KW density is a whopping 1%, you need to up this to at least 2-3%, backyard games for adults doesn't even show up in SEOquake, so you might want to add this in a few times.  Adding backyard games for adults automatically adds backyard games since it's in there.

    Oh, one last point.  Your hub can easily be broken down into two hubs, one for 'family backyard games' the other for 'backyard drinking games', just a thought...

    Anyway, I hope that helps, once again I really enjoyed your hub.

    1. Vincent F profile image61
      Vincent Fposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I like the idea of having all the top games at the end of the article.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)