Want feedback on starting

1. 60

   papabenposted 12 years ago

   I do not know if this is where I would start for feedback. I will write much more. this is just a start point for me. Thank you.
   
   When you are just starting your life at the age of 6 years of age and start to notice things are not the same with you as other children. Wet your pants just before recess at school and hide behind a tree not to be noticed by others. Don't worry, it will dry before you get home so Mom will not notice. I am OK, this will pass soon, but not soon enough because the minutes are hours and it becomes days and most of the school year.
      Mybe having one friend next door, because the neighbor knows how you live helps. I did not have a brutal childhood. My mother worked nights, my father hung out in Bar rooms. I did not get beaten or malnurished. Sitting in the Bar Rooms though did not help, espechally when children would walk past and see me sitting in there and laugh. We were poor though and I think I aways will be, even though I have worked hard for over 30 years.
        Not knowing that you have OCD and some level of Turrets for many years can be a very big problem to hide as you get older. Most people look at you as a freak because of not knowing also. As you get older the out of the ordinary sounds you make become more pronounced and you do not even notice, but others do.
       Checking the oven, stove, refrig, oil burner, gass heater many times before going to bed and sometimes waking up because maybe, just maybe you did not check something. Being home alone just agrivates this. Many more checks. Lock the door when leaving home and no one else is there, forget it? No, Keep checking for at least 45 minutes and still not comfortable, but you leave because you have to be somewhere and believe me this will effect any job function or interveiw. I am not blaming alcoholism on this condition, but in order to compansate and adjust maybe a few drinks will help with this. It does, but if you are an alcoholic it is very devistating. When you find out it helps, watch out. When will it stop, or, when will you get a grasp on things? Maybe never. It just depends on how much your body can take and when you will die.
      I think that is when depression comes in. Is it a chemical imballance. I think so. With all the things that were going on, do you think your brain is going to try to addapt to it? Sure. The only question is how. Will it just start to say, there is no reason to live, I have to live because others depend on me, I am somebody because I was created not by mistake but by choice, I belong, I can help in the long run, Some day people will accept me as I am, I made many wrong choices, so will people forgive, or back to the beginning, do I belong in this world, or would it just help if I just gracfully exit.
          DO I accept other peoples faults and judgements?

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   1. 60

      monisays2uposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Please create the hub it will provide you more feedback then posting in the forum.

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2. 73

   WryLiltposted 12 years ago

   The idea is to publish it in a hub with subtitles, pictures, videos etc and then post the link here.

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