I'd like feedback on my Hub: Easy Puff Pastry Napoleon Dessert

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   christimayposted 9 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Easy Puff Pastry Napoleon Dessert. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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      Quilligrapherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there, Ms. Christimay.
      Your hub looks like a great recipe. It should be very popular.
      
      Here are a few suggestions you may wish to consider:
      
      1. “once again!!” infers a repeated action. If you don’t know your reader, why assume the reader has returned? Two exclamation points are unnecessarily redundant. 
      2. In paragraph “Many years ago...”, the space between “(“ and “I” should be removed.
      3. “Cookbook” should be written as one word.
      4. In paragraph “The desserts I am sharing...”, the period ending the first sentence should be inside the quotation marks, i.e. I call "The dessert for cheaters."
      5. In the third sentence, the nouns “desserts” and “thing” should both be plural, i.e. “desserts are not my things.” or both should be singular, i.e. “dessert is not my thing.”
      6. “Too many ingredients, measuring, waiting, cooling, etc.” is an incomplete sentence.
      7. “Yet” used as a conjunction is followed by a comma, i.e. “Yet, for some  reason...”
      8. “So” used as a conjunction is followed by a comma. “Therefore,” might be better.
      9. In the next paragraph, a comma missing between “us” and “which”, i.e. “Friday is rolling up on us, which means...” Likewise, between “our house” and “which”, or, perhaps, “our house that means...”   
      
      I wish you good luck with this hub, Ms. Christimay. I gained three pounds just looking at the pictures.
      

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   Rana Pecarskiposted 9 years ago

   My suggestion would be to include how to make the pastry filling. The recipe needs more details. Actually, I didn't see a recipe. I see a list of ingredients at the very bottom of the hub, which should be moved above where you start to explain how to assemble the pastries. Also, maybe refine some punctuation like the double question mark you had on one sentence and remove some exclamation points. I do like the energy you show in your writing. I also love the photographs. The dessert looks very tasty.

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      christimayposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you.  I will take a look.  I did have instructions on how to make the filling. I will take a look and see where it went.

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         christimayposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I found it.  I guess it is just not obvious.  It is right before I tell how to assemble.  Thank you for  your feedback.  I will keep tweeking and working.

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3. 47

   erorantesposted 9 years ago

   Hello miss critimay, my advice to you my dear. You need to read some of the other recepies.  Hub pages have a few on the list of cooking. Then, you will get an idea of what they want you to do on your hub about the delicious bread you made. Good luck to you.

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