I'd like feedback on my Hub: DECODING THE OBESITY MYTH

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  1. checkyourvibe profile image63
    checkyourvibeposted 8 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub DECODING THE OBESITY MYTH. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image96
      theraggededgeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Firstly I'd remove the products and see if that works. Then add them back in one at a time.

      As the hub's topic is about electromagnetism causing obesity, I'd bring that into the introduction. It starts off about obesity and sugar then only then goes into the electricity thing. You can refer to sugar in one or two sentences - not the whole intro. Your main text should be focused on what you say is a cause of overweight - you let the video do it for you and point people at a book, rather than explaining how it might work. QaP will see that as spammy.

      Your writing comes across as a little 'sensationalist'. Maybe if you toned it down so it comes across in a more thoughtful way? Also, you have split every single sentence into its own paragraph so the whole hub looks like a list of bullet-points. Collect related sentences into paragraphs, varying the length to keep the reader's eye moving down the page.

      Once you have done that, you will see how short the hub is, so a more in-depth examination of the topic is necessary. It could make for an interesting and controversial topic.

    2. JerryFisher profile image94
      JerryFisherposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Looks pretty good to me. Nice quality and length. The Hubpages algorithm seems very sensitive at the moment. I had one of my hubs that was featured and published about four months ago that was 3500 words with totally original content - un/de-featured. I just couldn't work it out. I dropped all links in it plus all Amazon connections - still the same. So, I just couldn't be bothered and left it for a few weeks. I then slightly changed the title and noticed that while it was 'pending' during the day it picked up a few views. So then I thought, well why not just do that - change one word in it and have it pending and get a few views in the meantime. So, I reinstalled all Amazon links and changed ONE random word in the whole hub  - Guess what. Next time I looked it was featured again and remains featured. Ridiculous!

      1. checkyourvibe profile image63
        checkyourvibeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Yes! Thanks so much, this is a challenge!

  2. checkyourvibe profile image63
    checkyourvibeposted 8 years ago

    Thank you! Used to to do squidoos, haven't done anything in quite a while. Was told not to write in paragraphs, as people want to scan- so that's why I separated everything. Will go back in and make some changes- same with the videos, thought that was the way we were supposed to do it! Was told people don't want to do a lot of reading!

    1. theraggededge profile image96
      theraggededgeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Squidoo veteran here too :-) Whoever told you break up your paragraphs was completely wrong. It's better not to put text into great big blocks, as that's impossible to focus on. You need it to read as naturally as possible, just like a magazine article, with a mix of medium and short paras.

      You can mix up the modules a little to add variety. Some info can be put in a text module, right aligned and given a coloured background so it looks like a sidebar. Play around with the layout and have a look round at some other hubs so you can see what works and what doesn't. Also, you have a list there, which you can add bullets to. That will indent it and make it look neat.

      1. checkyourvibe profile image63
        checkyourvibeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Appreciate this so much! Will have to get someone to help me with some of these things, am not all that skilled with the computer stuff- but will figure it out eventually- smile

  3. relache profile image70
    relacheposted 8 years ago

    Your Hub claims that electricity, not sugar, is the major cause of obesity.  Your Hub does not explain this belief in any way that is considered an acceptable standard of proof, so it may be that your Hub is viewed as deceptive.

    Also, as it is not a Hub of actual diet tips, it may be viewed as miscategorized. 

    The lack of a lucid, logical progression as you present your info has already been addressed.

    1. checkyourvibe profile image63
      checkyourvibeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, working on all this- and yes, there is proof in the book, which I will write a review on- it's not supposed to be about diet tips as much as "decoding" what's wrong. Unfortunately there's lots of proof, just not in the mainstream.sad
      Appreciate your suggestions and will implement them!

  4. psycheskinner profile image84
    psycheskinnerposted 8 years ago

    Here are my suggestions:

    1) Do not put the title in all caps, using initial capitals.
    2) Replace the pixelated image with a properly attributed non-pixelated image.
    3) If the book and pucks are something you have really used and really personally recommend, review them in detail.  Otherwise, remove those links.

  5. checkyourvibe profile image63
    checkyourvibeposted 8 years ago

    Thank you! And yes, these are all things I personally use, will do! What a learning process this is- smile

  6. lisavollrath profile image91
    lisavollrathposted 8 years ago

    In general, TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK when writing titles and subtitles. Anything in all caps looks like shouting.


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